Fuck that bitch, let’s strip

“You can watch if you don’t want to play,” you say to your saltine wife, then you turn to the group, “Let’s play out back so mom doesn’t accidentally walk in and have a heart attack.”

Your wife stares at you as you grab the deck of cards. She can think you’re breaking your vows all she wants, but she better not tattle and tell your parents. You blow her a kiss and walk outside.

It’s a brisk night. Not too cold, but you know the nipples are going to be hard! (The balls will probably be shrunken, but of course you’re not thinking about that.)

You deal out five cards to each person. You make it simple. Only the winner of each round gets to keep their clothes on. Everyone else strips. Make the game as fast as possible. See those tig ole bitties.

You deal. You really don’t care if you win. You just want to make sure your sister-in-law doesn’t win. There’s no calling or bluffing. Just trading a few cards and hoping you’re lucky.

Your oldest sister is the luckiest. She might actually be good at cards.

Shoe.

Your younger brother wins.

Other shoe.

Then sock after sock.

The winners are totally random like there’s no skill involved.

The next hand takes either shirts or pants off. Your youngest sister who mistakenly wore a dress needs help unzipping the back before slipping it off her body to reveal her bra and panties. You overt your eyes from your 18 year old little sister’s body. You wanna slap her oogling boyfriend though. SHOW SOME RESPECT YOUNG MAN!

The next round your shirt comes off and so does your sister-in-law’s. She slowly unbuttons her blouse. All eyes of the table at her. You try not to look too eager.

She pulls her shirt open to reveal the most full coverage plain white bra you’ve ever seen in your life. Your little brother hollers, “Oh babe, you wore the sexy lingerie out tonight.”

She slaps at him, “You got to see enough of that on our honeymoon.”

Your oldest sister has the most clothes. The men are down to their underwear. Your little sister sits on her bare ass wearing only a very red bra.

This next round could be it. There’ll be a lot of dicks, but there’ll finally be some tits (even if those tits are attached to your little sister’s whose skin is prickling from the chill.)

Somehow you get a good hand and win. You cheer.

Your brother-in-law says, “Don’t act so excited to see my dick.”

He pulls down his pants and shakes his dick from side to side. Tick-tock tick-tock, stop watching your brother-in-law’s swinging cock.

You blink and look away. Where are the fucking titties?