Guilty Pleasures from the Past

About a year ago, a few months into a dry spell, she decided to spice up her evening self-pleasure routine by watching a variety of genres of porn while she would get herself off. She watched porn in the past as a little bonus while she went to work with her nightstand vibrator, but she stuck to a roster of her favorites from “women-centered” porn sites. Usually something romantic or passionate–she would imagine herself in the place of the woman serviced by a devoted, enamored lover. Prowling other sites, she browsed a selection of genres and watched something new as part of her routine. She didn’t seem to have a preference amongst race or ethnicity, so she tried looking at different couplings: Lesbians, gay men, solo masturbation, threesomes, even massive orgies. Then, different sex acts from cunnilingus to footjobs. She liked the novelty, but nothing turned her on more than her usual fare.

One night, scrolling through a list of categories, she clicked on BDSM. A selection of strange videos popped up: a woman tied to a table surrounded by three men who whipped her and fucked her from every possible angle, a different woman, this time handcuffed to a chair while a woman in a leather corset tortured her with a selection of strange devices, two bound and gagged women straddling a vibrating saddle and made to orgasm over and over. As Alexa watched, she felt a strange impulse to click and see more, but at the same time, she was disgusted by what she was watching. She felt a hint of curiosity for the psychology of people who liked this, but it was quickly outweighed by disdain. She promptly clicked away and went back to scrolling through categories.

Then she saw the category titled “rough”. Hesitantly, she clicked. Her mouth widened in shock as she scrolled through the category. Video after video of women being degraded and harshly fucked in every conceivable way. Her hand shot up to cover her mouth as she watched the video previews. In all of them, whether it was a rough facefucking or merciless anal, the women had an expression somewhere between agony and ecstasy. But all the women were being degraded, manhandled, or treated terribly by faceless, uncaring men. Who would ever want to be treated like that? Social forces already promote the idea that sex of any kind is empowering for men, but degrading for women, but to actively promote those roles was despicable. She quickly closed the tab, disgusted by the content she saw. She decided she was never going to look at misogynistic trash like that again.