A meeting with a sword maiden!

Day 57

Today, Takumi sat cross-legged before a table wearing a traditional kimono that Scarlett had provided him. He was waiting patiently in a room styled after an old Japanese inn, though in reality it was just a high end restaurant/brothel, which seemed to be quite popular in this city. It was almost uncanny how much it made him feel like he was back in mainland Japan again, though he had to admit that the nostalgia and familiarity was welcome.

“Greetings, my dear guest,” a man with short blue hair, a white eyepatch, and a black kimono said as he walked into the room. “I verily apologize for the wait, but your geisha is almost ready to entertain you. She’ll be here in just a moment.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t mind waiting,” Takumi said casually, raising his hand. “The food and drink was absolutely stellar, by the way. My regards to the chef!”

“Heheh, thank you sir. It was made… with love~” He said in a tone that Takumi didn’t really like. “Ah, I think I hear your geisha approaching now. Please, welcome our beloved little Lotus Blossom.”

Takumi could see a figure approach the room through a paper door, and Takumi raised an eyebrow when he saw that it was much larger than he expected it to be. The door then opened and it revealed exactly why that was. The woman he was expecting was not dressed as a geisha at all, but was instead dressed as a samurai, complete with full body armor and an extremely real-looking katana.

“Greetings! My name is Kyoshika Magadori, and I am here to entertain you for the evening!” she said with a bow after swinging her sword around a few times.

“Sigh… not this again…” the waiter sighed. “Lotus, how many times do I have to tell you? You’re supposed to wear the costume provided to you.”

“But the theme of the restaurant is medieval Japan!” Kyoshika complained. “It still fits!”

“Yes, but I’d hardly call an outfit like that ‘arousing’,” said the waiter.

“Samurai are too sexy! And so are ninjas!” She took out some throwing stars and tossed them, embedding them in a perfect vertical line on a wooden pillar next to Takumi’s head. “Besides, geishas weren’t actually prostitutes, that’s just a western myth! So I’m doing more to uphold the historical accuracy of this place than anyone here!”

“Uh, the samurai weren’t prostitutes,” Takumi pointed out. “And they weren’t ninjas, either. Plus it would be feudal Japan, not medieval.”

“Tsk tsk tsk… this just won’t do,” the waiter said, clearly a bit exasperated. “I do apologize for this little incident. Lotus here is still a bit new to this.”

“Huh? I’ve been here for two months!” said Kyoshika.

“And yet you still act greener than any of the other newbies,” the waiter said with a dark smile on his face. “I’ll tell you what, sir; if you promise to keep quiet about our little screw-up, we’ll refund you your cost and you’ll be allowed to do whatever you want with our dear Lotus.”

“Anything I want? Seriously?” asked Takumi.

“Er…” Kyoshika looked towards the waiter, who immediately frightened her into line with a subtle, but terrifying, ****-glare. “Yes, of course.” Kyoshika bowed. “You paid for my services, so I am honor-bound to obey your every whim. If you say it, I will obey without question.”

“Well… I can think of one thing I’d want to do with you…” Takumi said, his eyes drifting towards Kyoshika’s waist.

“No no no no!” Kyoshika cried, tears in her eyes as she sobbed uncontrollably. “Please, anything but this!”

“You said you’d do anything, right?” Takumi asked as he prepared to thrust.

“I know I did, but this… this is just too much!” Kyoshika replied. “I’ve never let anyone touch that before!”

“Hey, a deal is a deal, isn’t it?” Takumi said sternly. “Besides, it’ll only be for a little while. It’ll be over before you know it. I promise to be gentle.”

“You say that, but… ah!” Kyoshika gasped as Takumi lunged forward… and sliced a rolled up tatami-mat they had set up in the restaurant’s zen garden with Kyoshika’s katana. “Nooooooooooooo!”

“Wow, this thing really is the real deal!” Takumi said, impressed at how easily the blade cut. “Wait, you’re… actually crying?”

Takumi resheathed the sword and knelt down next to the samurai girl.

“I’m sorry if I upset you, but… aren’t katanas meant for slashing at things?” Takumi asked.

“It isn’t what you were doing that was bothering me… it was that you were doing them,” Kyoshika explained, wiping away her snot and tears on her sleeve. “That sword has been passed down through my family for the last 1,000 years. For anyone not in our clan to touch it, let alone use it… that is a fate worse than ****!”

“Wait, the sword is that old!?” Takumi gasped. “I’m sorry, I had no idea it was an antique, or that it meant that much to you! If I had known, I would have never-”

“Don’t let those tears fool you,” the waiter, who had been watching all of this, chimed in. “She bought that thing online last week, and came up with the backstory all by herself.”

“Dammit!” Kyoshika slammed her fist into the ground. “Won’t you let me have at least something?”

“You’re lucky that I still let you have a job,” said the waiter. “Now, let’s head back inside so we can get ready for the next customer. And this time, we WILL stick to the approved costume and script.”

“Augh… yes, sir.” Dejected, Kyoshika began to head back inside the restaurant.

“Wait, what about your sword?” Takumi asked.

“You know what? You can keep it,” said Kyoshika. “It doesn’t mean anything to me anyway.”

“...” Takumi looked down at the sheathed blade, and then back up at Kyoshika. Then, making a split decision, he dashed in front of her and kneeled to present the sword.

“But I must admit, lord samurai!” he said in a submissive voice as he looked down and held the sword up high with both hands. “It is only right that someone of your noble stature carry a righteous blade to match. I can only hope that you can forgive me for sullying its edge with my unworthy grasp”

The waiter rolled his eye, but Kyoshika looked like a kid meeting Santa Clause for the very first time.

“Please, don’t encourage-” the waiter began to say, only for Kyoshika to interrupt.

“I thank you for your display of submission, and for treating my Holy Jumonji Sword with the care and reverence it deserves,” she said proudly as she took the blade back.

“Augh… alright, this has gone far enough!” The blue-haired waiter pointed angrily towards the ground. “Put that sword down right this instant, or I will make sure this is your last day here!”

“Don’t bother; I quit!” Kyoshika smiled and attached her sword sheath to her belt again. “This station isn’t worthy of a noble samurai like myself!”

“Sigh…. I should have seen this coming,” said the watier. “Fine. Go. Gather your things, and good luck finding work elsewhere. I mean it.”

Kyoshika bowed and left the restaurant/brothel with Takumi.

“Uh… sorry again about touching your sword,” Takumi said as they reached the sidewalk. “And for, you know… costing you your job.”

“Not to worry - I’m sure I’ll be much happier without this place anyways. I’ve already got a different place in mind that I could work at!” Kyoshika said proudly. “Before we part ways, though, I have to know… out of all the things you could have done with me, why did you ask to use my sword?”

“Oh, uh, no reason.” Takumi scratched his face in embarrassment. “I just, uh… think samurai and samurai swords are… really… cool…”

“Hmm… I see.” Kyoshika rubbed her chink in thought. “I see now - we must become married!”

“Excuse me!?” Takumi gasped. “We can’t get married; we just met!”

“Yes, but we have so much in common!” Kyoshika argued. “I like swords, you like swords; it was meant to be!”

“Er, that’s…” Takumi wanted to turn her down, but he had a feeling that upsetting a madwoman with a sword might be a bad idea. “Give me time to think about it, okay?”

“Very well. Take all the time that you need.” The samurai ninja bowed and, with that, the two parted ways.