Something for Andrew.

Andrew was uncharacteristically nervous preparing for his date. Maria said she had a surprise for him, and she was clearly dying to tell him early. He buttoned up his pinstripe dress shirt and glanced in the mirror. He could pull this off.

After dressing, he met Maria in the living room. His jaw dropped when she came into view. His impossibly attractive golem was clad in a dark green dress and a bit of eyeshadow, far more formal than her usual look. She laughed nervously.

"Hey, you look good..." she said. Andrew had yet to make eye contact and Maria started to worry that he might drool on himself. "I, uh, take it you like my dress?"

When he didn't respond, she grabbed his arm and yanked him to his feet, reminding him that their reservation was at seven. He looked startled, like he had just woken up. "Oh, I still have to put on my shoes on..."

Maria sighed.

They had barely ordered drinks when Maria leaned forward conspiratorially. "Wanna see your surprise?"

Andrew nodded. The anticipation had stoked his curiosity. Maria produced two modifier scripts, one in a red sleeve and one in a green. He almost grabbed one before he remembered that it would take effect as soon as he was the one "showing" it to her.

"What do they do?"

Maria bit her lip coyly. "I'll tell you that one reverse the effects of the other, like flipping something on and off. But I thought it would be fun for you to guess."

Andrew looked around nervously. "It's not gonna be anything embarrassing, is it? I don't want you becoming a sex demon or something in the middle of this restaurant."

"No, nothing like that," she chuckled. "Although that's a good pitch. No, this one's a little more subtle."

"Ok," Andrew said. "Which one turns it on?"

"Let me ask you one favor though. If we do this to me, flash it at me quick then put them in your pockets and don't mention them again."

Andrew nodded. His apprehension began to rise again as she pushed forward the green script. "You ready?"

She nodded and he palmed both scripts. He stuffed the red one in his pocket and flashed the green one. She stared intently at the script, as though trying to read a half-remembered language. He put it away right as a waiter brought a small basket of bread. They thanked him and Maria immediately grabbed a piece.

"The bread here is so good," she said as she liberally spread butter on it.

"You've been before?" Andrew asked.

"Oh, yeah..." Maria said. She looked almost dazed for just a moment before snapping out of it. "A long time ago."

They continued, the conversation drifting lazily across topics. Andrew was surprised at the breadth of her interests. When she first became Maria, mathematics comprised about 95% of her knowledge. It was amazingly difficult to make small talk with someone who had a Wikipedia-level grasp of the characters and plotlines of most popular TV shows but had never seen an episode.

All of her interests were like that. If you asked her what music she liked, she would say classical. Favorite composer? Chopin. Etude in F major. But she had never actually heard any of it. She couldn't debate Bach's early work vs later or describe the swell of a crescendo. Other than math, she only knew what she needed to make small talk in the faculty lounge.

Now she was eagerly telling him about the genetic anomalies of octopi.

"...seriously, they are like, wildly different from us. Like, you or I have more in common with bacteria on this straw than we do with octopi."

"Well, you don't," he pointed out.

"Good point," Maria joked. "I'm 50% octopus on my mother's side. It was a difficult birth."

They both laughed and Andrew drained his third glass of wine. "This has been really nice," he said and reached an affection hand across the table.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. My treat."

"I didn't just mean tonight," he said. "We've been through a lot, haven't we?"

She nodded and was surprised to find tears forming in her eyes. "We have."

"And you! You've come so far in such a short time. It's really incredible."

"You have too," she said. Andrew laughed.

"No, but seriously. You went from, like, Leonhard Euler's sex robot to a real woman."

She stared at him in shock and withdrew her hand. "What the fuck?"

He stared back, equally surprised. "I... I mean, you know. Because you were so... one-dimensional?"

She withdrew her hand and gave him a legitimately hurt look. "What- why are you saying this? Are you, like, breaking up with me?"

Andrew was stunned. "What? No! I mean, how would that even work? I meant... I don't know! I guess you were less well-rounded as a professor golem. I'm trying to compliment you!"

"Professor golem?" she repeated, shocked. "You think I'm a golem?"