Brenda is looking at me

She was standing near the entrance of the kitchen, holding a glass of water. Somehow, she looked cute even in the dark. There was a tiny slit of light seeping through the blinds.

"Oh... I'm sorry to have woken you!" She apologized the moment she noticed me looking at her. "I was just... Thirsty!"

"What? No, don't worry, just..." But I knew it hadn't been her. It had been the noise I'd heard from the bedroom. Squeaking noises. Wet, rhythmic noises. Little moans, little sighs. "What's going on?"

Brenda looked at the bedroom door and completely blushed.

"Oh... Uh... Goodness, I'm... I'm so sorry..."

I tried to stand up, but she quickly moved to the sofa and sat next to me.

"No, no, wait, it's just... Well, we..."

But then I realized what it was.

"Is that... porn?"

"Yes." Brenda admits and lets out a heavy sigh. "I... we thought you were sleeping, and... Katia said she was horny, and, since we are all cousins, we said 'Why not? We're all girls!' and... Well... I'm sorry... Don't get mad at Sarah!"

I thought for a moment. I knew Sarah liked porn occasionally, as we've talked about it once or twice. But I didn't know she'd be comfortable with doing it with company... Was she that close to her cousins?

"No, no, I mean... It does sound weird."

"Just a little! You see..." She left the glass of water on the coffee table and moved closer on the couch. "Cousins have a special... connection. They're like... Casual siblings, you know? All the sisterhood without the arguments of being sisters, and all the friendship without the awkwardness of being friends. It's a weird sweet spot."

A moan, a little louder than the rest, made us both turn our heads towards the door.

"Sarah... She needed people who were close" Brenda continued. Her voice was sweet, kinda motherly. "She always spoke so well about you. A-and... She needed to be close to girls like her, as well. So this." She gestured towards the room "Is... uh... Us being close. It's nothing more than... Watching porn and laughing. But it helps her to stay connected."

My eyes were at the door. I didn't know something that lewd was beneficial for her. She did have a hard time while she was growing up. And the way Brenda explained was so sincere.

"I... I understand. Girls stuff, am I right?"

"Yes!" Brenda chuckled, slapping my knee in a friendly way. She leaned forward. My eyes felt attracted by the gravity of her large chest, pressed between her arms, and I couldn't avoid looking at them. Even under the fabric of her pajamas, in the dark, I could notice two lumps peeking on those masses of softness. I quickly looked up, and she didn't seem to notice. "You also watch porn, right?"

"I... uh... I don't know if I should answer that." I chuckled quietly, and so did she.

"You're right, sorry! Well... I'll go back with them. Just... Don't mention this to Sarah, please? She says she always tells you everything, she trusts you so much, so... Allow her just a tiny bit of intimacy."

I didn't like the fact she used the word 'intimacy', but I nodded. Everything explained by Brenda just sounded better. She was —and I hate this phrase— more mature than I expected. She stood up, grabbed her glass of water again, then she walked to the room. For a brief moment, the fraction of a second the door was open, the moaning got louder and clearer, and Brenda quickly stepped inside and disappeared into the darkness of our bedroom, now filled with the sounds of porn, before closing and locking the door again.

I lay again, and tried to fall asleep. Just before I did, a question appeared and disappeared in my mind, a flash of hesitation and doubt: The room seemed completely dark. Where were they watching porn?