To have fun at work.

John didn't have any plans in particular but he quickly wrote down some basic rules that he was confident he was going to use.

"I John Doe have a button sized penis when flaccid that does not even reach a full inch. When it's hard it reaches a max of one and a half inches"

"I John Doe have no hair below my neck and am incapable of growing any facial hair."

"There are no legal consequences to my public nudity however as an alternative any person of power can humiliate me in anyway possible"

Trying to think of a fourth rule to add John gets his thoughts interrupted by an alarm on his phone. Even though he was a little annoyed at first he quickly changed his tune when it gave him an idea. Grabbing everything he needed along with the book he grabs his car keys and heads off to work.