Ice test

“Hey Lisa?” Amy said.

“What’s up?” She approached the computer.

“It’s saying we need to do an ice test? What’s that?”

Lisa perked up. “Oh wow, we’ve never done one of those.” She stepped towards the door and swung it open. We were right outside the nurses station where several nurses were chatting idly. As the door swung open the glanced over. I hurried to cover myself as one of the nurses approached.

“Yes? What do you need?”

“We need an ice test.” Lisa said.

The nurse raised an eyebrow and glanced over at me. Then she nodded and left.

“What’s an ice test?” I asked.

“Well, in some cases we want to get a full and complete measurement, including a minimal size. I’m not sure what exactly the criteria is for that, but basically we’ll be measuring to see the base length of your penis absent any bloodflow or stimuli.”

The door swung open again and the nurse entered. She carried an ice pack and a wrap. Lisa approached. “You can move your hands.” She said.

I glanced over at the nurse who was watching curiously. The door was still open and several nurses were looking in as well. I hesitated too long and Lisa grabbed my hands and pulled them away, exposing my tiny penis to the nurse and the curious onlookers. The nurse quickly turned away and exited, but I saw smiles spread across the faces of the other two nurses at the nurse station. They exchanged glances as the exiting nurse shut the door. I could hear their laughter through the door though it was muffled.

I didn’t have time to linger on that as Lisa pressed the frozen ice pack against my genitals. I nearly jumped from the shock. She quickly wrapped the bandage around me and then admired her handiwork.

“Ok, we’ll leave that on for about 15 minutes.”

There was a knock on the door and a new nurse entered.

“Lisa, we need this room for our 2:15, are you almost finished?”

“No.” Lisa said. “But we can have Cash wait outside while we do the next measurement. His is going a bit long since his is a unique case.” She said.

“Unique how?” She asked.

“He’s our first F grade penis. Significantly smaller than any that we’ve measured before.”

The nurse raised an eyebrow and looked at me. She maintained a professional facade, but I’m sure she was wondering about my exact measurements. Fortunately for her, Lisa volunteered them a moment later. “His flaccid size was actually under an inch, and erect he is just under 3 inches.”

The nurse’s jaw dropped, but she recovered quickly. “I see. Well follow me, Cash.” She led me out and towards the nurses station where I saw two nurses struggling not to laugh. “We don’t actually have a waiting room, so we’ll have you sit over here with the nurses. She motioned towards a bench where I sat awkwardly near the two nurses who were pretending that they hadn’t just been giggling about my penis size.

For several awkward minutes I sat there in silence, until Amy approached.

“Ok!” She said. She stepped over towards me awkardly and handed me a small business card. “Here’s your official penis registration card. Don’t lose it. On the front is your classification and your official measurements.”

I looked at the card. Sure enough, it listed both my flaccid and erect penis size in bold print, along with my name and address so that if it got lost it could easily be returned to me. Below the measurement was a letter F.

“What’s this?” I asked pointing at the letter.

Amy hesitated. “It’s um...your classification. It’s a standard grading scale, um...I’m sorry…”

“Oh wow, you’re our first F grade.” One of the nurses said. She was a pretty mexican girl, roughly my age. Why did this clinic have so many attractive women? “I’m not entirely sure how it calculates it, but they’re very rare. May I?” She reached over and took the card from me. I watched as she looked over the measurements and her eyes bulged. “Amy, we’ll actually need to print another. I think the ice measurement needs to be on here too.”

“Oh! That makes sense, I didn’t even think of that since we’ve never had to do it before.” She glanced at me, then back at the room. I longed to be back in there, instead of nearly completely naked in this hallway, while two pretty nurses struggled not to giggle at my state. “It’s been 15 minutes, I wonder what’s taking so long…”

Just then the door opened and Lisa poked her head out. “I’m having some trouble getting the erect measurements, sorry.” The door swung open and I saw the man inside who was being measured. His penis was enormous, at least 5 inches flaccid and thick as beer bottle. I saw the nurses exchange glances with their jaws wide open. I glanced over at Amy who hadn’t noticed, still focused on the card.

Lisa continued. “We don’t have any other appointments so you can go ahead and just get the final measurements out there.” She said.

“I was just about to suggest that.” One of the nurses said. She turned around and without warning began to unwrap the ice pack from my crotch. In a matter of seconds she finished and she lifted the frigid pack away which made me sigh in relief. I was shivering. I glanced down at my penis and saw that it had shrunken up a fair bit.

“Oh!” The nurse said in shock. She looked at me then back down at my penis. “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Please try to be professional.” Amy said sternly. She gave me a smile, but I could see the pity in her eyes. “I’ll need to do another measurement.” She leaned down and pressed the ruler against my shrunken penis. I was shivering as she did this.

“I think you’re pressing it too far.” The nurse said. She reached down and adjusted how Amy was holding the ruler. “Looks like...0.4 inches. Hm...seems like it’s all foreskin, the penis has retreated into his body. That’s unusual. It does tend to happen with overweight individuals, but not on fit and healthy men.”

The other nurse who was watching snorted and then pretended to have a coughing fit. She quickly exited the area.

“Ok, 0.4 inches.” She met my gaze then quickly looked away. “Let’s get that card updated.” Amy began to type on the computer. “Huh.” She said.