Almost Exactly as Frannie said

Nothing too it. Told the truth, got the reprimand and 4 demerits, because fucking Penelope was arguing real hard for suspension. Even though Alyce was softer on me than expected, Penelope’s total unbending certainty was hard to deal with. I regretted that fucking challenge now. And Frannie hadn’t been as focused as she might have been, most of a week without cumming had probably not helped. Damn things coming back to bite me. At least Frannie gave me another week of delegation for the checkout approval without being a bitch as an apology.

Then I spent the day working. I met with a bunch of concerned inmates and talked with them, approved their check-out ability and to the occasional supervillain had a delicate conversation about how mad Zsasz was, and how I couldn’t check books out to them if I were dead.

The only excitement was that Harley was allowed back into the library.

“Hey, it’s Charlie!”

I looked up at her. “Still not Charlie.”

“I say you are.”

“Is there a compromise here? I’m Eli Cain.”

“You’re Charlie.”

“What about Mr. C. Does that work?”

Her eyes widened, “Are you trying to compare yourself to Mr. J?”

“Of course not.”

She stared at me with the eyes of madness, then smiled and gave me a big hug. “Well, Mr. J’s not here, so sure, I’ll call you Mr. C, but when he comes back, I may have to kill ya for it!” +3 SP (Harley +17)

“Ah, but if I’m dead, who’s going to run the check-out program?”

“I heard about that,” she bounced in place, excited. “I can really check out books?”

“A book. Usually I would say that wasn’t allowed, until your next visit, but since I missed everyone on Monday and Tuesday, so yes, you can check out a book. The rules are on the wall. Please follow them. If you violate them, then you won’t be able to check out a new book until your next visit.”

“Great! It’s so boring in the cell! Electrotherapy, ****, sleep, shocktherapy, ****, sleep…”

“Well, you’ve got an hour to choose your book, and read. They’re all organized now, the card catalogue’s over there. If you need assistance using it, just ask.”

“I know how to use a card catalogue, I’m a doctor!”

“Well then, help yourself.”

I waited for her to make her choice, but she came over to me quickly. “Where are the other books! The good books!”

“Which ones?”

“All of the books with fucking!”

I blinked. I thought she was after the books Alyce had wanted. “They’re still here, behind the desk. Access is authorized, but only for check-outs, as otherwise things can get a bit…messy. You can peruse briefly, but no taking them back to the tables and reading with everyone else.”

“Aw, you trying to tell me you don’t want to watch me rub one out?”

“I’m telling you I don’t want to watch Bane rub one out.”

She laughed at that. “Now, that I would like to see!”

“I leave that for you. If you want to browse the romance books, just let me know.”

“Romance,” she laughed.

I gave her a calm look. “Yes, I want to browse the ‘romance’ books, let me in.” +2 SP (Harley: 19).

Despite what she clearly expected, I simply got out of the way, taking the check-out book to one of the tables. She sat down and browsed, which was fine, then started to read, which wasn’t. I walked over. “If you’ve made your selection, you can check it out, but romance books are to be read in your quarters,” she snorted at the euphemism, “and you can’t monopolize the area.”

She glanced up at me. “Do you think any of these pussies want to challenge me for this spot?”

“I’m sure they don’t, but it’s my job to try to keep this place running fairly.”

She looked up at me. “Then why was it closed for half the fucking week?”

“I think you already know that, but it’s not a secret. Zsasz chose this spot to attempt to **** one of the other inmates.” She smirked at the lack of euphemism. “We had a fight. I got lucky and won.”

She stared. “Zsasz holds grudges.”

“I’m sure he does.”

“You really think you can take him?”

“I am not an idiot.”

“Then why are you still here?”

“I broke both of his wrists. I have some time to line up another job, if I have to.”

She suddenly smiled. “You’re trying to get me to kill Zsasz for you! So I’ll be able to read horny books in my cell?”

“I’m new here, but I’m not dumb, I’m definitely not indebting myself to any inmates. I’m simply answering your question.”

She leaned into my personal space and lowered her voice. “You’re telling me to kill Zsasz, so I can check out books, aren’tcha Mr. C?”

I looked her in the eye, the other guards were too far away, there were no cameras or recording devices. This was still a bad idea, “Yes, I am.”

“And what’ll you do for me?”

“Nothing more than I’m already doing. This isn’t a deal, if you want me running this library rather than someone else, I need to survive and be working here.”

She laughed and kicked herself backwards into a backflip that brought her feet way too close to my face to be comfortable, I definitely flinched away from her. “You know your problem, Mr. C?”

“Tell me.”

“You’re relying on crazy people recognizing what’s in their best interest, and acting accordingly,” her voice was suddenly entirely different, her Brooklyn accent gone and replaced with a bland Midwestern one. +1 SP (Harley: 20).

I had different versions of that conversation with a bunch of other supervillains, gaining a few additional SP. +2 SP (Peyton: +45), +2 SP (Firefly: +31), though I made no progress with Una…which frankly I was okay with. Until I had the credits for cosmetic changes, she frankly creeped me out.

With that done, I finally headed home and got a call from Asa.