More like post delivery clarity.

Melissa swallowed every drop. I couldn’t remember back to a time when she had ever done that. Even on our wedding night she had declared swallowing a terrible thing she would never do. The look of shock on my face must have been easy to read because she giggled as she stood up from between my legs. “It’s a special occasion. Plus, you deserve it honey. I mean look at what you did today. Showing up on camera, fooling everyone.” She winked and grinned. “Heck, I think Ben might have even been checking you out.”

The post orgasmic bliss was slowly fading as she reminded me that I was sitting there in her clothes with my now spent dick hanging out. Surprisingly, I wasn’t as freaked out as I thought I should have been. Realizing it was likely the music, I reached up and finally pulled the earbuds from my ears. “We are going to have to figure out another way to move forward. Maybe Missy can quit and they can hire me?”

Standing up, I slipped my dick back into the tight slacks and zipped them back up almost instinctively. Leaning forward to try and see around the huge breasts on my chest had caused the red hair to fall in front of my face so I brushed it back behind my ears as I turned to see what she had to say. My wife’s retreating form spoke back over her shoulder as she headed towards the bathroom, likely to brush her teeth. “Won’t work. The company is on a hiring freeze, especially with RTO.”

I followed along behind her, my bare feet padding along the hardwood floor. The feeling of the stuffed bra pulling down with each step, even just stuffed with hose, felt odd to me. “Wait, I thought only Ben’s team was going in?”

Melissa shook her head as she squeezed toothpaste onto the brush. “Nope, Kylie emailed me. Whole company is going back in. While your team will be back earlier, the rest of the company will follow soon after.” The brush slipped past those beautiful lips and she shrugged as she began to brush away the taste of our recent activity. Speaking around the mouthful of foam and the brush she continued on. “Ish why dey won hire enneeone.”

Shaking my head at her terrible speech patterns from the mouthful of dental cleaning supplies, I leaned against the doorframe behind her and tried to cross my arms, only to realize that if I wanted to do that it would need to be much lower than normal. Frowning at the way the stuffed bra continued to change my movement I dropped my arms back to my sides and tried to think of any other way to move forward. “Fuck. Maybe Ben will think of something.”

Melissa’s shrug signaled that she didn’t have any clues either. A few more seconds of brushing occurred before she paused and caught my eyes with hers in the mirror. “Khan oou order inner?”

Rolling my eyes, I smiled at her antics before turning to go find my phone. I found myself humming along to the beat of the music I had been listening to all day. My mind placed the words in the right spaces and I smiled as I thought about how much I did trust and love Melissa. Picking up the phone, I quickly punched in our typical thai order. Green curry for myself and pad thai for her.

In the time I had taken to order dinner, it sounded like Melissa had jumped into the shower. It only felt natural to return to my desk, slip the earbuds back in and get back to working on my project. I knew the work day was over, but between getting dressed up that morning and the meetings, I felt like I had missed a huge portion of the day. So getting some more work in while I waited for the food to get here or for Melissa to get out of the shower just seemed to make sense. I’m still not sure why I put the headphones back in, but hitting the control on the side brought the playlist back up and the soothing music really helped me dig back into the work.

The doorbell ring caught me off guard. Realizing it was the food, I made my way to the front door and opened it up. It was only as I saw the look on the driver’s face that I remembered what I looked like. I stood there frozen, looking like a deer trapped in the headlights as the delivery driver frowned down at his phone. “Did you order dinner miss? This is the address, but sometimes people forget to change it or…”

As he trailed off, I could hear Melissa yell out in the background. “Is that dinner baby?” My eyes locked with the driver’s and he grinned as he held the food out towards me. His eyes scanned up and down my body, until they came to rest on the obvious bulge in the tight slacks. He chuckled as he reached out and held the food out towards me.

“Seems like the right place. You two girlies have a fun night.” My hand trembled as I accepted the bag of food. The weight of the two meals in my hand freed me from my stupor and I slammed the door without ever saying a word.

Melissa found me staring at the closed front door with the food in my hand as she came to see what was going on. The music was playing in my ears and I was taking deep breaths and repeating the mantra. “I am comfortable. I will please those I love. I am relaxed. I trust those I love. I want to feel sexy.” The words spilled out over and over as I tried to get over the shock of a man having seen me dressed like this. Every utterance of the words seemed to bring a small amount of calm back into my frenzied mind. As I repeated the words, my mind tried to process the feelings that I was experiencing. The first thing I thought of was that he was a driver we saw fairly often and he likely knew who I actually was. The second thought that stuck in my mind was the smile on his face. I recognized it well. Melissa and I had always joked that she got better service from the delivery men than I did. They would chat her up, ask her about her day. My interactions with them were always brief, no nonsense affairs. This had felt more like an interaction she might have experienced and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.

“Oh my god. Did you answer the door like that Missy?” Turning around I saw Melissa standing there with a towel wrapped around her body and another around her head as she grinned at me. I saw her eyes widen briefly in surprise before she covered it up quickly with a smile and stepped forward to collect the food.

“I uh…I was working while you were in the shower and I forgot.” My hand reached up and plucked out one of the ear buds, hitting the pause button on the side. “I just, I didn’t think about it. I’ve been so comfortable today. The music…”

Melissa smiled and patted my hand as she laid the food on the table. The look on her face was playful as she opened up her food and grabbed a pair of chopsticks from the bag. “Did you give him a big tip?” She giggled as she wiggled her eyebrows at me while sticking a piece of chicken into her mouth.

It was only at that point that my mind took in all of the things she had said since walking into the room. “Wait, did you call me Missy?”

Finishing off her bite of food, she shrugged. “You certainly don’t look like Darren right now.”

Frustration began to well up inside of me at the concept of not looking like her husband but like something else. Only something stopped it from taking over. I could feel this desire to reach up and rip the wig right off of me, but the smile on Melissa’s face and the memory of how happy she had been this morning as she put the makeup on me stopped my impulsive and destructive action. “I think I want to change clothes.” My voice was quiet, almost like I was asking permission instead of demanding the way I wanted to. I pulled the other earpiece out and set both on the counter.

A frown crossed over Melissa’s face as she took in my words. “Really? I kinda thought we could hang out and have a cute little girls night. Or are you only gonna dress up like that for Ben?”

The barb hit my feelings in the exact spot she had aimed. Changing wouldn’t please her. I loved my wife, I wanted to please my wife. My discomfort grew and I shook my head back and forth as if to clear it. The long red wavy hair flew all around, requiring me to brush long strands behind my ear before I could lock eyes with her. My voice shuddered as the **** of my frustration and humiliation ran up against the need to please Melissa. “Please.” I could feel a tear gather in the corner of my eye and I didn’t understand why I was feeling so strongly about all of this.

Her eye’s took in my body language and I could see a realization come over her. She nodded once before setting her food down and heading back towards the bedroom. I followed meekly, a portion of my mind felt like I had won this battle, but another portion felt like I was losing the war. The next half hour was spent teaching me how to safely remove the makeup, wig, and even her suit and underwear. I groaned in satisfaction when the waist cincher came off, the deep impressions on my skin from having worn it for over six hours amazed me as I sat on the bed naked. I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and grabbed an oversized t-shirt before I headed back out to eat.

Dinner was a quiet affair. My mind was in knots over my pyrrhic victory of getting changed. I would glance up at Melissa over the course of the meal and see that she was also deep in thought. Sometimes I could swear she was looking at me while I stared at my food. All in all, it wasn’t the most uncomfortable meal we had ever had, but it certainly wasn’t our best. The food filled me up quickly, where normally I would have torn through all of my rice and curry, I only got about half of it down before I felt full enough to stop. “I’m gonna put this away for lunch tomorrow. You want a container too?”

A nod was all I got in response as I stood up. The words had broken the silence in the air but somehow the tension remained. I felt like I had done something wrong but none of it made sense. As I came back to the table and packed up the remaining portions, Melissa finally spoke. “I think I’m going to read and go to sleep early. I’m really tired all of a sudden.”

I stood there and watched her walk down the hallway. I had this intense desire to apologize, to beg her forgiveness, but I had no idea why. I couldn’t shake the feeling I had somehow made a mistake. With dinner cleaned up, I felt a restlessness take over my body. Trying to think of something to do, I ran through all my hobbies in my mind. Gaming sounded frustrating, reading meant being around Melissa and it was clear that she wasn’t looking for that, Television sounded boring. My eyes landed on the ear pieces on the counter. Reaching over I picked them up and slipped them into my ears.

The new song and words began to smooth over the rough edges of my mind. It felt like the music took life and simplified it. Looking up, I spotted the treadmill and nodded to myself. A run was exactly what I needed. With the soundtrack of the day in my ears I began to jog along, building up to a full run. The mantra helped me pace my breathing as I spoke it out loud.

“I am comfortable.” This was certainly in doubt, but I had heard hundreds of people talk about speaking things into existence so I gave it a shot and said it with as much conviction as I could.

“I will please those I love.” I almost missed a step as I spoke this one out loud. I knew that I had somehow failed to please my wife. It wasn’t until I promised myself that I would try harder to please her tomorrow that I could feel this line click into place.

“I am relaxed.” Again, this was one of those speaking into existence affirmations. Running was always relaxing, but tonight it only seemed to stem the tide of frustration instead of truly putting it to rest like it normally did.

“I trust those I love.” How could I not trust my wife? She trusted me enough to let me take over a job of hers while I couldn’t find one. It wasn’t the best situation, but with the way rent and food prices kept rising, it was the only way for us to stay afloat. Again, I focused on pleasing her more tomorrow and letting her guide me.

“I want to feel sexy.” As I spoke these words there was a barrage of images that flashed in my mind. The picture of Melissa’s flame red hair between the valley of the fake breasts as she bobbed up and down while giving me a blowjob. The smile on the delivery driver’s face as he flirted with me. Ben’s face as he saw me log onto the meeting. My mind tried to piece together all of those thoughts and why they made me feel sexy. I could only think of one thing.

“Femininity is sexy.” That line clicked in my mind as it fit perfectly into the last spot of silence that had seemed wrong to me before. The odd space in the recording that had felt like it was missing something was suddenly filled like the last piece of a puzzle slipping into place.

An hour later I finally came to a stop as the earbuds died out. I chuckled to myself having never successfully done that before. Still, with a couple of miles down and a much better understanding of what I needed to do the next day, I felt much better. I walked into Melissa’s office. I noticed that she had left her monitor on. It was a terrible habit that I was always trying to get her to rectify. Shaking my head, I walked over to the desk and slipped the earbuds into her charger. I reached over and flicked off her monitor without even glancing at the contents before I slipped out of the room and closed the door.

Heading into the dark bedroom, I could sense that she was already asleep. A quick shower to rinse off the sweat and I climbed in beside her. I laid there on my back and looked over at her sleeping form. Whispering into the air, I turned over and tried to go to sleep. “I love you.”