A Familiar Familiar

Haruka

It was hilarious how much Ash was freaking out. I’d rarely ever heard her laugh, let alone lose her cool, but she was turning into a full-blown Karen right now and I had my phone out to save the whole thing for posterity.

“No no no, this isn’t right. I won.” She actually stamped her boot on the floor at that, like some little kid throwing a tantrum. “You all saw it! I won! He dumped three loads on me, I choked on that last one, and I won!”

Oh, we’d been watching the whole thing. I’d been expecting to roll dice tonight, not watch two of my friends gangbang each other, but I wasn’t going to complain. I’d always known Ash and Ken were cute, but I’d been selling them short. Ken especially.

My birthday was coming up, and I was wondering if I could arrange something with April and Rayne without them being too prudish about it.

“So, uh, I might have pulled a fast one,” Ken confessed, wearing a sheepish grin. “That last clone of mine you made nut? That was me.”

“What? Wait, no, you were across the room, and… I…” Ash trailed off as the realization slowly dawned on her.

It was a lot more clever than I’d given him credit for. With Ash’s clones blindfolded, he’d only needed to distract the original for a few seconds to swap places with his doppelganger.

“It was a simple idea, but how’d you even pull it off?” I asked, stepping up next close to Ken.

“Oh, it wasn’t too hard. Remember when we started up, and Ash’s clones kept speaking in stereo?”

“Ah! Technically speaking, when you’ve got three sources of sound, we call that LCR. Left, Center, and Right. Four would be quadraphonic and—”

“Right, that. LCR,” Ken interrupted to keep his explanation going. “Well, I figured, if they’re saying the same thing at the exact same time, they must all three be thinking the same thing. And then I thought, hey, I bet my clone buddies are all thinking the same thing too. So I thought, hey, how can we come up with a secret plan to win this thing? That’s where the switcheroo idea came from. But then, hey, how can I know that the others were all on board with the plan too? One’s gotta keep Ray distracted, other block her field of view, third is switchin’ out, and I’m waiting for the signal.”

“So that’s why you spouted that nonsense about bananas!” Rayne exclaimed, excited to have the last puzzle piece fall into place.

“Bingo! I figured if all four of us could come up with the same random string of words, then we must have also all four come up with the same plan, and it was game on!”

“Brilliant. Well done, Ken!” Frank cheered, then rubbed his hands together. “That kind of lateral thinking is fantastic. This game really is something else. If no one else minds, can I go next?”

“Sure. I’d like to give this a shot myself. But you’ll be doing the challenging, Frank. I am not going to pick some weird sex game like Ash,” Rayne surprised me by stepping forward to go next.

“Um, guys?” April cut in and pointed. “What’s going on with Ash?”

Everyone turned to look and saw that Ash was frozen in place, still as a statue… and the bottom of her feet were turning into motes of light, the process traveling up her legs until she was gone, her five cards clattering to the floor. The cards then sucked up the motes of light and began to glow, turning on and off at a slow interval.

“What kind of penalty for losing is that? She get sent somewhere?” Ken asked as he picked up one of the cards.

The other four lifted themselves up, floating towards us. I snatched it out of the air to take a look. The back was the same as all the other cards, but there wasn’t any symbol on the front. “What do you think these are for?”

“If I had to guess, they’re wildcards. If someone used up all five of their own cards on challenges, then these can be used to keep playing,” Frank ventured.

“Huh…” Looking at the card, still flashing, I felt like there was something else. Some rule that Ash hadn’t gotten around to explaining. But as I looked at the card, the answer quite literally revealed itself to me.

The card started stretching itself out in my hand, growing until it was the size of a tablet, and a very digital looking screen interface popped up.

“The Exchange Shop?” My eyes went wide. “Guys, check this out!”

Rayne and Ken huddled on either side of me, April beside Ken, and Frank had his own card out and managed to expand it to the same thing.

The exchange shop was rather simple, looking like it was ripped straight from a videogame. Six items were on sale.

One Point: Cold Hard Cash. Immediately gain 10,000$

Two Points: Retroactive Makeover. Enter the character creator and redesign your body. All changes will be retroactive for all non-Players.

Three Points: Sexually Transmitted Possession. A magic ring that lets you possess the body of whoever you last had sex with for one hour. Afterwards, you’ll need to have sex again to charge the ring.

Four Points: Family Ties. A small red rope. Use it to bind yourself to someone else and the two of you will become retroactively related in the manner you choose.

Five Points: Build-A-Bimbo Workshop. Design your ideal sexy servant, then build them in this extradimensional space. You can customize every aspect of their mind and body. They'll be totally loyal to you, but their max intelligence is set at half of your own.

“Dude, no way? We can cash out?” Ken took out one of his cards, had it expanded up to tablet size, and tapped at it. There was a ka-ching sound effect, and then a large rolled up wad of hundred dollar bills dropped onto his head. He managed to grab it before it hit the floor, then thumbed through it. “Woah…”

“Really, Ken? That’s what you go for?” Rayne snapped. True, it was mundane compared to everything else on the list, but the thing the rest of us were focused on was the featured item.

Featured Item! Two Points: Familiar Imp Familiar. Gain a former Player as your own Imp Familiar! She’ll do her best to help you win the game, can turn invisible at will, and can be further upgraded with items from the shop!

And right next to it there was a portrait of this “imp”. The same messy hair, black leather clothing, and cool expression. But her skin had turned a pale purple, her eyes a bright red, and there were two horns sprouting from the top of her head. And two huge boobs sprouting from her chest now too!

“Is that…?”

“Wow.”

“Oh no…”

“Incredible.”

“Hah! That’s awesome!” I couldn’t help but burst into laughter, seeing what Ash’s penalty had been. Turned into an imp! Just how tall was she now? Because she looked adorable.

“Haruka, this isn’t funny,” Rayne said, hand on her hips. “And Ken, hurry and purchase Ash. We need to get her out of there and make her explain just what’s going on.”

“Hey now, these are my points, I earned them fair and square. I get to decide what I spend them on,” Ken protested. “But yeah, that’s a good idea.”

He tapped at the card, and the motes of light that Ash had transformed into before came pouring out in an arc, piling up on the floor and then slowly coalescing together to rebuild into Ash.

“This isn’t fair! Master cheated!” It was the first thing she said as soon as she could speak, pointing an accusatory finger towards Ken.

“Look on the brightside!” I said, clapping my hands on Ash’s shoulder. “I’m not the shortest in the group anymore!” The top of her head didn’t even reach my chest.

“Master?” April asked, concerned.

“Ugh… Part of being a familiar. Can’t think of him as Ken anymore. He’s Master now. Just don’t let it go to your head, okay? I might be stuck like this until the end of the game, but I’m only going to help you with the game. Don’t even think of trying to make me do anything lewd.”

“Uh, okay? I mean, didn’t plan on that in the first place. The duel was one thing, but come on. You know I’ve got a girlfriend.” Ken put his arm around April’s waist and pulled her close into a hug.

Ash blushed bright pink, her skin changing color fast as a cuttlefish. “Yes, well… fine!”

“Hold on. You said that you’re stuck until the end of the game?” Rayne got things back on track. “So all of this is temporary?”

“Not all of it,” Ash clarified. “At the end of the game, every Player gets to choose what stays and what goes. So if you bought something for yourself in the point shop, you can keep it.”

I looked over towards April, and sure enough, she was nibbling on her lower lip. I bet I could guess exactly which item she had her eye on.

“Hey, Ash, what about this timer?” I tapped on the screen of the Exchange Shop where the timer was. There was a little less than three hours left, and it said that the items would refresh after the countdown. “What happens to the old items?”

“They’ll be replaced. There should be a few hundred items in each category, so we probably won’t see the same ones twice.”

I nodded, then went over towards April, going up on my toes to whisper in her ear. “You want that one, right? The 2-point item? Because if we don’t act fast, it’ll slip away.”

April had the kind of body men loved, but for as long as I’d known her, she looked at herself like she was the hunchback of Notre Dame. If dating a hottie like Ken hadn’t fixed her self-esteem, then maybe this game could.

“I uh… maybe…” April whispered back. “Is that okay?”

“Honestly, I just want to take my own turn with this.”

“Then… if it’s okay. Um… Haruka, I challenge you!” April pulled out a card and it split into five.

“Haruka!”

“Babe!”

“Ah, what!? I wanted to go next!”

It was the dice symbol this time, and as I read the possibilities, I was getting excited. I mean, sure, I wanted to help April out.

But I wasn’t going to just throw the game either. I was going to play to win.

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