It's impossible, implausible, I'm an imposter imposter

“Well… shit.”

When Kim entered the Dining Room and saw Carly’s unconscious body knocked out from orgasms lying next to a big glob of what must have been the slimy remains of Marley, there weren’t any other thoughts that could come to mind for her.

She’d been hoping to catch up to the cosplayer, but when she’d heard Marley’s screams from down the hall, she’d feared the worst. And lo and behold, the two girls had been eliminated.

Shit.

They’re totally going to suspect me! Talk about bad luck! Kim reluctantly pressed the report button, knowing it was time to face the music.

In a flash, she was teleported to the Meeting Room with the other survivors. She noticed that everyone else was alive.

“Carly? Carly got killed?!” Dani exclaimed, looking around the room. “What the fuck?! I just saw her!”

“Y-yeah,” Kim nodded. “I found her-”

“It was you, wasn’t it!?” Dani declared. She liked Kim, but she wasn’t about to let her personal feelings get in the way of winning a challenge. “You chased after her, caught her, and eliminated her!”

“You don’t know that!” Mary argued. “That’s speculation! Kim was only gone for a few minutes at most while we were arguing!”

Actually, it had taken Kim more than ten minutes to track down Carly. More than long enough. When Mary got into an argument, it was really easy for time to pass her by. Kim didn’t exactly feel comfortable offering up that little detail, though, given the circumstances.

“But it’s a reasonable assumption,” Dakota pointed out. “Out of everyone here, Carly probably had one of the biggest advantages out of everyone, thanks to Marley. She could serve as a decoy, another set of eyes to call out who she saw, there are all sorts of ways to use her, I would have eliminated her as fast as possible myself.”

Everyone stared at her suspiciously.

“…I didn’t, though,” Dakota clarified. “I was just saying that someone COULD. Dawn can attest, I never left her side for a second.”

“That’s right,” Dawn nodded. “Dakota and I were together the entire round.”

“I’m surprised that she didn’t do anything like that,” Rose said. “Shout out, I mean. You would think she would, right? But Kim, you didn’t hear anything?”

“I did,” Kim protested. “Marley did shout! Right before I got to the Dining Hall.”

“Did she say anything useful?” Dakota asked, leaning forward. “A name, perhaps? Identifying the attacker?”

Kim sank back in her seat slightly and shook her head. “…No. She just cried out. I guess when Carly got eliminated, Sylvia did something to make Marley turn into slime before she could out the saboteur. For fairness, maybe? …That’s how I found her, anyway. A big puddle of slime.”

A few sighs and groans went around the table. Dakota, on the other hand, looked triumphant.

“Then it’s you,” she crowed. “You’re the saboteur! You didn’t hear Marley name her attacker, because her attacker was you.”

“That would be a logical conclusion, yes,” Dawn agreed. “But it’s speculative. We don’t have all the facts left. And there’s still the fact that Kim and I were alone together when Gina was eliminated. If she was one of the saboteurs, rather than go check up on Gina’s condition with me, wouldn’t it have been a better decision to eliminate me, as well? Then there would be two eliminations, and no one is the wiser to either of them.”

“That makes sense,” Rose nodded.

“I-I agree,” Morgana mumbled.

Dakota frowned. That explanation DID make sense.

“Unless it’s the two of you, together,” Dani accused.

“I was with Dakota the entire time,” Dawn pointed out. “I have an alibi. But you’re correct. If we go off the assumption that Kim is the saboteur, and she’s the one who eliminated Carly, then I would be a likely choice as the other saboteur.”

“Don’t forget, it was your buddy that got eliminated, too,” Rose pointed out. She smiled, like she had the whole thing all figured out. “I’ve got it. It’s Mary and Dawn! The genius, and the detective! They’re in it together, and they’re playing the rest of you!”

“What?!” Dani exclaimed, her face flushing with rage.

“Uh… what?” Morgana looked at Rose, confused. And she wasn’t the only one.

“What?! But… why me!?” Mary wailed. “I didn’t get anybody!”

“Because your buddy was eliminated first!” Rose explained. “Think about it! It makes perfect sense. Mary eliminates her buddy first. Then Dawn’s buddy next. That way, they both secure their positions so they won’t lose the challenge!”

A hush fell over the Meeting Room as everyone considered that idea.

Kim sighed and shook her head. Dawn kneaded her temples in frustration.

“Rose, just… no. That makes no sense.”

Rose frowned. “Why not? I think it makes perfect sense!”

“Well, for starters, Dawn and I both have alibis!” Mary pointed out. “I was arguing with Dani right up until we got teleported here, and Dakota says Dawn never left her side!”

“That’s right,” Dawn nodded. “The four of us are absolutely innocent for this. One of us could still be the saboteur, yes, but they weren’t the one who eliminated Carly.”

“Not to mention, the way you’re talking about things doesn’t work,” Dakota said, shaking her head. “Remember what Sylvia said at the beginning. The way that elimination is going to be handled is different. We don’t know how it’s going to be different, but it seems unlikely that the saboteurs would eliminate their buddies first. There’s no benefit to it. If the saboteurs win, then they both get first. That’s basically immunity right there, right? And if the workers win, that means that saboteurs both get last place. Even if their buddies are eliminated, it’s a safe assumption that the saboteurs, at least, will not be giving out any roses.”

“I think I get it,” Morgana nodded. “So what you’re saying is that there’s not really any benefit for eliminating your buddy first anyway!”

Then she realized she’d jumped onto Dakota’s conversation, and felt the woman’s golden eyes burn into her. She froze and went pale.

“Not to mention,” Dakota purred, “one of us here doesn’t have a buddy at all.”

Morgana gulped. “I-I…”

“It’s fine, Morgana, she’s just messing with you,” Dawn assured her. “Right now, Kim is the only suspect, because she’s the only one who doesn’t have an alibi.” Dawn sighed. “I don’t think Kim is the saboteur since she didn’t eliminate me when she had the chance, but if she’s the only one without an alibi, then…”

Then she noticed Morgana and Rose both start to look uncomfortable.

“…What’s the matter?” Dani asked, scowling.

“W-well…” Morgana looked down at her lap.

“It’s not that I don’t have an alibi…” Rose murmured, unable to meet Dani’s gaze.

Mary sighed.

“…Okay, tell us…” She urged the two of them.

“I-I’m sorry!” Morgana wailed. “Right before the round ended… I needed to use the Bathroom!”

“She said she couldn’t go with someone else watching,” Rose sighed. “So I stood outside the door while she went.”

“Did she come out?” Dawn asked, frowning.

Rose shook her head. “I was still standing outside the door when I was brought to the Meeting Room. And get this. There’s a vent in that room, too.”

The table took a moment to process that information.

Dakota rolled her eyes. “So in other words, Morgana doesn’t have an alibi either.”

“I went to the Bathroom!” Morgana wailed. “It takes me a while when I’m nervous!”

“Rose doesn’t have an alibi either, though,” Mary pointed out. “Just like she can’t say for certain whether or not Morgana was actually in the Bathroom the whole time, she can’t prove she didn’t leave the door to go kill Carly, either. The Bathroom isn’t too far away from the Dining Hall. You could have popped over and killed her.”

“But I could have just killed Morgana then!” Rose protested. “Why go out of my way to look for somebody, when everyone was in groups together? And Morgana could have left the bathroom at any time and immediately outed me? It doesn’t make sense.”

Rose had the right idea. Kim could definitely understand that logic.

“If you killed Morgana, we would all know it was you,” Dani said. “Even I get that much.”

“On the other hand, you have a track record of not thinking things through,” Dawn pointed out.

Rose turned crimson. “Yeah?! Well… what about you!?”

“…What about me?” Dawn asked, raising her eyebrow. “I think we established to a degree of certainty that I was with Dakota the whole time.”

“Right, but you could be working with someone,” Rose said. “I mean, come on, it’s suspicious, right? If I’m the saboteur, I’d be going after Dawn first! Because she’s, like, so totally smart! She’s probably got the layout of this whole place memorized already, and she can remember everything we’ve all said! She’s by far the biggest threat here! So the fact that the saboteur hasn’t killed her already means that she’s definitely got to be it!”

That really got the table talking.

“It’s not me! I don’t know why I haven’t gotten eliminated yet; probably because I was with Dakota!” Dawn protested.

“But you could have known that, which is why you partnered up with me,” Dakota pointed out. “I’m still suspicious of your actions in the last round, with Gina and Kim.”

“You’re still on that?! It might be Kim, but it’s not me!”

“I don’t think it’s Dawn, either,” Morgana said, shaking her head. “She’s really nice! She wouldn’t do something like this!”

Rose rolled her eyes at Morgana’s naïvete. “You say that because you’ve never competed in a challenge against her. She’s ruthless. Don’t think I’ve forgotten the way you stole all of Holly’s cards in the challenge before last.”

“You’re still on that?!” Dawn sputtered. “But I gave you a rose in that challenge!”

Rose baulked. “Y-yeah, and… thanks for that,” she mumbled. “…But still! That was then, this is now. And I still think you’re the saboteur.”

Dawn bit her lip.

No one at the table had thought of things from Rose’s perspective before now, but now that the blonde had pointed it out, Dawn really was a pretty big threat to the saboteur.

Kim noticed the contemplative expression on Mary’s face.

“What’s up, Mary?” Kim asked.

“Nothing,” Mary said, shaking her head. “It’s just… we’re doing all this thinking, and we haven’t even verified if the two saboteurs are working together. Can they even communicate with one another?”

“They’ve gotta be able to,” Kim said. “Otherwise this game wouldn’t be very competitive. It would look suspicious if two people were always off in the corner whispering, right? We should work from the assumption that the saboteurs have some sort of way to communicate nonverbally with each other. Maybe they have a tablet. For a group chat. I don’t know, maybe Sylvia gave them a psychic transformation or something.”

“I mean, you would know, saboteur,” Dakota jabbed at her.

Kim rolled her eyes.

“Aaargh!” Dani slammed her palm on the table. “This is making my brain hurt! Listen, there’s an easy way to get to the bottom of this! Everyone, take your clothes off!”

Everyone stared at her for a second.

“Absolutely not!” Mary exclaimed, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Where are you going with this, Dani?” Rose asked, staring warily at the tomboy. While she was a bit more open with her body than most people, she didn’t want to strip for no reason.

Unlike Kim, who was already working on the buttons of her shirt.

“Listen, it’s simple, either take your clothes off, or I’m going to be suspicious of you,” Dani growled. “Because frankly, I don’t trust any of you! You’re making all these big speeches about who’s suspicious, who isn’t, but you know what? Dawn and Dakota, you DON’T have an alibi. If you’re both the saboteurs? Then you could have killed Carly without worry! Same with you, Rose, Morgana, this whole bathroom mess could just be a trick of some kind!”

“…If we were both the saboteur, though, wouldn’t we just say we were together the whole time, instead of put unnecessary suspicion on us?” Rose pointed out weakly.

“That’s true,” Mary agreed. “But Dani raises a good point. Dakota and Dawn aren’t necessarily innocent just because they’re vouching for each other. They could both be the saboteur.”

Dani’s eye twitched. “I-I don’t know, okay?! Maybe it was some kinda reverse-psychology mumbo-jumbo! All I know is that I hate games like this! I hate mysteries! So we’re going to prove who’s innocent and who’s not once and for all! Everybody take your clothes off, we’re doing a strip search! That way, if you’re holding the syringe, we’ll find it. And that will be the end of that!”

“We had that idea too,” Dakota agreed, standing up. “If the syringe is on someone’s person, then we’ll find it with a strip search. Come on, everybody.”

“O-only…” Morgana blurted out, turning red. She looked away. “Can I be… facing away, please?”

Dani narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “And why would you want that? What are you hiding?”

“N-nothing!” Morgana exclaimed. “I just, um… I wanted… everybody to look at my butt… if I’m getting naked, you know.”

Rose and Kim burst out laughing. They couldn’t help it, that was so adorable.

“…Fine,” Dani relented, rolling her eyes. It wasn’t like she was going to complain about the chance to ogle a cute goth’s thicc booty. “But all the clothes off. I don’t want anybody hiding anything in their bra.”

“Don’t have to worry about that with Dawn,” Dakota murmured under her breath. The cat girl gave her a scandalized glare.

Mary didn’t want to get naked either. But then, everyone here had pretty much seen everything already, hadn’t they?

After a few seconds, the seven of them were stark naked.

“…If I knew this was how the challenge would go, I wouldn’t have gone to the trouble of taking a bath with you and the twins for my bounty,” Rose blurted out, flashing a coquettish smile at Dani, who rolled her eyes.

“So what, NOBODY has the syringe, then?” She asked, crossing her arms and making her chest bounce. “Unbelievable.”

“It makes sense,” Dawn said weakly. “I don’t think Sylvia would have made the challenge that easy. She probably gave the saboteurs some way to hide the syringe, like a pocket dimension or something.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one here?” Kim suppressed a grin. “Pocket dimensions?”

“With all the stuff we’ve seen, rationality seems to be in short supply,” Dawn sighed.

“The impossible could not have happened, therefore the impossible must be possible in spite of appearances,” Mary pointed out, wearing a self-satisfied smile. “And when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”

“Can you do anything other than throw book quotes at us?” Dakota sighed, rolling her eyes. “Whatever. At this point, it seems pretty clear that we’re not going to get anywhere like this. Let’s end the meeting here, and get back to our tasks.”

She was already putting her clothes back on.

“I think we should switch up the teams, though,” Dani said. “Specifically, I don’t want you and Dawn on the same team anymore. I think Rose is right, it’s suspicious that Dawn hasn’t been eliminated yet even though she’s the biggest threat.”

“It’s not me and Dawn,” Dakota protested. “It’s Kim and Dawn.”

“It’s not me at all!” Dawn wailed. “Just give me one more round, and I can really start figuring this all out.”

“How about you come with us, then?” Mary volunteered. “Rose was definitely right about one thing, you’re the biggest target here. It would be best if the three of us were together, that way we’ll have someone to call out, like with Carly and Marley.”

“…Just make sure you scream loudly when the two of them get you,” Dakota scoffed. “I’m not going to cry if you want to offer herself up to the wolves. Remember, the rest of you, if Mary isn’t alive by the next meeting, Dawn and Kim are the saboteurs.”

“This works out good, because there was an odd number of us,” Rose nodded. “So the four of us will just pair up, then?”

“I don’t want to be paired with Dakota,” Dani said, frowning. “I still think she’s suspicious. Rose, what about you and me pair up this time?”

“Fine with me,” Rose shrugged.

“Wait, but then I have to go with Dakota!” Morgana exclaimed. “I don’t want to be in the same pair as her!”

“Oh, grow up,” Dakota scowled, narrowing her eyes.

“…Fine, fine, whatever,” Dani groaned. “You and I can be on a team then. Rose, are you fine with teaming up with Dakota for this round?”

“Sure thing!” Rose chirped. “We can talk about movies!”

“You’re supposed to be doing your tasks,” Dawn pointed out.

The meeting ended, and the teams split up and went their separate ways to do their tasks.

“This is so great!” Mary was bubbling with excitement. “With Dawn and her brains joining us, those saboteurs won’t know what hit ‘em!”

“Who do you think it is?” Kim asked curiously. She wanted to know where Mary’s head was at right now.

“My money is on Rose and Dani,” Mary said. “Think about it. If the saboteurs win, then that means they’ll both have to give a rose to someone, right? And Sylvia really didn’t like how everybody just picked their buddies last round. Wouldn’t it make sense that she’d make a pair of buddies the saboteurs, to guarantee they wouldn’t be able to pick each other?”

“That does make sense,” Dawn agreed. “But that would mean that Dani would be onboard with eliminating Carly. And I don’t really see that happening.”

“You didn’t see the fight they had,” Mary said. “But also, think about it like this. If Carly’s eliminated early, before you, then that means you get a rose and she doesn’t if the saboteurs win, right?”

“Basically yes,” Dawn nodded. “According to Sylvia, anyway.”

“So if Dani is the saboteur, then she’ll just pick Carly as her buddy,” Mary explained. “Doesn’t that make sense?”

“Yeah…” Kim could tell from Dawn’s voice that her mind was going down another line of thought. She seemed to be contemplating what Mary was saying. “Yeah, it does…”

“That’s why I was thinking about the saboteurs being able to communicate,” Mary continued. “Think about it. Dani and Carly get in a fight and Carly runs off. Then Dani uses her saboteur mindlink stuff to talk to Rose, who then leaves Morgana in the bathroom to go kill her. Sure it violates Knox’s Second Commandment of Mysteries, but those kind of went out the window anyway with those vents so who knows.”

“Wouldn’t Morgana be a better choice, then?” Dawn pointed out. “After all, Dani couldn’t know that Rose would be free. She could have told Morgana, then Morgana could fake a bathroom emergency, vent to the Dining Hall, and kill Carly. That seems a lot neater.”

“…Yeah, I guess so…” Mary nodded. She really hadn’t wanted to suspect Morgana, but what Dawn was saying made sense. “I still think Sylvia would have set it up so buddies would be saboteurs, though. But maybe not…”

She thought about that for a second, and then shook her head. “It could go either way. What really got me suspicious though, was how the teams were decided at the end of this round. You get what I mean, right? Rose seemed pretty cool with Dani suddenly changing her mind and letting Morgana onto her team. What if they wanted to be on separate teams from the start? Dani’s whole outburst about suspecting you and Dakota could have just been so she could isolate the two of you and set the teams out the way she wanted. Then Rose kills Dakota and she kills Morgana. Just like that!”

Kim thought Mary might have been ascribing a bit too much intelligence to Dani. The tomboy wasn’t an idiot or anything, but Kim had never really pictured her as a tactical genius.

Dawn clearly agreed. “I don’t know if Dani’s smart enough for that,” she said, putting a voice to Kim’s doubts. “But it could definitely be the case that Morgana and Dani worked together, and arranged all those theatrics to be on the same team so they could hunt down Dakota and Rose. It’s too hard to say at this point. Or Dani could be innocent, and Rose or Morgana just seized an opportunity when it presented itself and happened to get lucky running into the twins alone. In that case, the other saboteur could be Dakota, or me, or even you, Mary.”

“Me?!” Mary blanched. “No, it’s not me! Look, the reason I wanted to group up with the two of you is because I think you’re not the saboteurs. It’s probably some combination of those four. Look, here’s how I expect the situation to go. Dani and Rose, or Dani and Morgana, are going to eliminate the other two. But when the next meeting is called, we’ll know the culprits have to be them! Don’t you see? And if they try to eliminate us, instead, the third member can get to the button while the cooldown on the syringe is going. So here’s the plan. The moment any of us runs into Dani, whether she’s with Rose or Morgana, assume they’ve eliminated the other two. Then we can run to the button and call an emergency meeting, and the vote will be three against two! They’ll be eliminated and we win!”

Kim could see a big hole in that plan. And Dawn could too.

“One issue,” the cat girl said. “Your plan hinges on us being able to outrun Dani.”

Mary blinked. “Oh, fuck.”

As if to punctuate her sentiment, the lights snapped off.