Ranger danger

"Next I think we should call the cops!" Ophelia barked, zipping up her leather jacket as she glared at Tara and Jake. "The crazy nudist ripped my favorite tank top, and that psycho almost strangled my best friend!"

"Look, I wanna be around this lunatic just as much as you do." Jake spat, letting go of Andrew as the smaller man wheezed and fixed his glasses. "But if this nerd is right, then -"

"Hey! Don't go insulting my friends because you can't control your girlfriend!" Ophelia shouted.

"She's not my girlfriend! I don't even know this looney!"

"Come on, Orion!" Tara said, wrapping an arm around the young man and snuggling in close. Jake groaned as Tara then asked, "What's next on the agenda?"

"Well," Orion began as he lifted his staff and healed Tara, "our party is almost complete. All we need now is a ranger; someone who can help us fight Queen Lilith's forces from a distance."

"A ranger, huh?" Tara asked, "Where are we gonna find one of those?"

"If I may?" Kalza suggested, "I have a former partner of mine in the town. Elenore Von Snipes; the best markswoman in all of Clankwall. She should be down at the pub..."

"Why am I sensing a 'but' here..." Tara asked, giving a playful swat to Orion's ass...

"Gah!" Jake jumped back. "Are we sure we can't rip that stupid thing off?!"

"No." Andrew said, "This thing is supposed to temporarily shut down certain motor functions. And what sounds worse: Us getting in trouble with a naked woman who thinks she's at home playing a video game? Or us getting in trouble for carrying around an **** naked woman?"

"... Fair point." Jake and Ophelia said simultaneously.

"Oh, so you and this Elenore haven't spoken to one another since your last heist together." Tara said with a nod as she faced in the direction of Andrew.

"Wait, so does she really think I'm a man and you're a woman?" Ophelia asked in confusion.

"Indeed." Kalza replied, "I have since forgiven her for how it went wrong, but she still has not forgiven me. Perhaps if she knew it was for a quest with The Steam Knight, she would be willing to cooperate."

A blue circle on Tara's map suddenly appeared with the label 'Ranger' underneath, a grin coming to Tara's face.

"Well then, what are we waiting for?!" Tara exclaimed as she ran off in the direction of the blue dot.

"Crap! Not again!" Jake groaned as Tara ran off. "Come on!"

"What the hell makes you think we're going with you two?!" Ophelia challenged.

"Because I can't keep an eye on her by myself!" Jake replied, "And if we're found by the cops, I'll just put the finger at you two anyway!"

Ophelia and Andrew looked at each other.

"Gaga, ooh la la! Want your bad romance!" The cute chubby brunette sang musically as she stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her wet body as she walked over to her locker...

Finding it open and empty.

"Oh, not again!" The chubby young woman whined as she reached in and picked up the note in the locker.

Greetings, Tanya the Hutt!

As you may have noticed, we swiped your clothes and belongings... Again. We placed them into your car for you, which was unfortunately for you unlocked. We say it was because we may have "accidentally" locked it after we placed all your stuff inside.

In our defense, this wouldn't keep happening if you simply decided to take you fat, bubble butt out of our gym like we kept telling you. No one wants to see a bloated walrus jiggling around when they work out!

Good luck getting home :P

Tanya sighed as she crumpled up the note. "Why are those girls so mean?" She asked as she tightened her towel around her, getting ready to make the humiliating walk out the back doors and through the parking lot to her car...

Again.

"She's heading for the gym!" Jake shouted to the others as they gave chase.

Well, Jake gave chase at least. Ophelia and Andrew were lagging behind as they tried to catch their breaths to keep up. Never one for sports, Andrew's spindly legs made it nearly impossible to keep up as sweat ran down his body and face. Of course, Ophelia was panting and sweating for another reason...

"What the hell was I thinking wearing leather on a hot day like this?!" Ophelia groaned, tugging at her collar. "If I still had my tank top, I'd have left this off. But now, I have to keep this one so my jugs aren't on display!"

"Not that I'd be against seeing those beautiful orbs again." Andrew muttered lovingly.

"What?"

"Gah! I'm sorry, Phee! I didn't -"

"No, I wasn't listening. Did you say something, Andy?"

"Um... No?"

"Will you two come on?!" Jake yelled, getting the attention of the two as the tried to catch up.

Tara came to a halt outside a pub as she saw a drow in a long flowing dress walked towards a horseless carriage.

"Elenore!"

"EEP!" Tanya squeaked, almost letting go of her towel as she turned to the source of the voice... And went wide eyed at the sight of a naked woman walking towards her with a VR headset on her head being followed by a scrawny guy with glasses sweating up a storm, a tall and buff woman who was also sweating like crazy...

And the cutest guy she had ever laid eyes on who, for some reason, was carrying a mop around. The sight of Jake only made Tanya more self-conscious as she blushed and tightened the grip on her towel.

"Elenore Von Snipes!" Tara said with a grin, getting Tanya's attention. "I am Tara The Steam Knight! And I request that you join my fellowship to help defeat Queen Lilith and free Clankwall from her tyranny!"

Tanya blinked a few times. "Wha...?"