I wish you could feel the way you kiss

“Is this… me?” Kim stared at her reflection in the mirror, finding it hard to believe that the girl peering out could really be her.

“It sure is!” Carly grinned. “It’s a wonder what someone can accomplish with a bit of foundation! We just need to even out your complexion, hide those pesky remnants from puberty, conceal the bags under your eyes, and voila! Add in a bit of brown eyeshadow to make those peepers pop, a bit of contouring, pluck your eyebrows, add a bit of blush…”

Kim wasn’t sure what amazed her more. The fact that she actually looked pretty, or how much work actually went into doing makeup.

“I’m sorry,” she suddenly said.

“Hmm?” Carly seemed caught off-guard by that. “Sorry for what?”

“I, uh…” Kim blushed. Somehow even embarrassment looked cute on her newly made-up face. “I thought, well… that your job… I thought that it was easy. That you weren’t working hard, just coasting by on your looks. That was… wrong of me.”

“…Oh.” Carly nodded thoughtfully. “Well… I can understand why you think that. And frankly? Yeah I’m naturally hot so I don’t have to do all that much to look good.”

Kim frowned.

“No, don’t frown, you’re so much prettier when you smile!” Carly urged. “…Look, sorry, that was wrong of me. I should be a little more considerate. But you’re right. I know my job is just looking sexy online, but there’s a shit-ton of work that goes on behind the scenes. If you want to really look like a character, you need to pick the right makeup to emphasize your face in the right way. What look complements your costume? Not to mention I make the costumes myself, which takes a lot of skill.”

“Really?” Kim’s eyes bugged out in shock.

“Well, I mean, I don’t weave the cloth myself of course, that would be insane,” Carly laughed. “But yeah, sewing together the fabric with proper tailoring, making adjustments to account for the girls…” She gestured at her chest, bouncing up slightly to make her boobs jiggle.

“I doubt it compares to the kind of stuff you have to do every day, though,” she said, placing her hand on Kim’s shoulder. “But hey! You’re pretty cute, you know? Like this. When we get back, maybe if you’d like, you could give it a try.”

Kim scooted away from her, turning red. “No, no way, that’s… that’s not for me.”

“I understand,” Carly nodded. “It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there like that, huh?”

“Why did you do it?” Kim asked suddenly, curious why Carly got into this line of work in the first place. She didn’t think it was something people just fell into. “I mean, if you don’t mind me asking of course.”

Carly looked uncomfortable. Then she smiled. “It’s not anything special,” she said, shaking her head. “I fell into a major depression after I dropped out of college. It felt like it took me years just to get out of bed in the morning. Then one day, a friend of mine came over to check on me. She mentioned that she was doing a group shoot in a few weeks, and was looking for someone who’d be good on camera. Then she asked if I’d like to give it a try. I’d never done anything like that before, but… I liked it. It was the first time I’d had fun in months. So she helped me get started myself, and, well… the rest is history.”

“I see…” Kim nodded. She was starting to understand the cosplayer better now.

“If you want, I could do that for you,” Carly pressed. “Help you get started, I mean!”

“I, uh, already said, I’m not interested.” Kim shook her head, holding her arms over her chest. The thought of a bunch of guys checking out her body…

Although I guess it’s already happening after those photos of me in that lingerie. Kim didn’t even know who would be seeing those. Not to mention this strange “audience” that Sylvia kept referring to, who had watched her get most of her clothes melted off the other day.

She tried not to think about it.

“Well, anyway, let’s move on,” Carly said, walking around Kim and getting a look at her from all angles. Kim felt a little bit like she was being put on display right here, in fact.

“Can you, uh, not look at me like that? Please?” Kim asked. “It’s making me uncomfortable…”

“Oh, sorry, understood,” Carly apologized, sitting back down. “I just wanted to get a better look at what you were working with.”

Kim rolled her eyes. “Well, sorry to disappoint.”

“What do you mean?” Carly asked, confused. “Kim, you’re a regular cutie! Sure, you’re a little on the skinny side, but do you really think you need huge breasts and a big ass to be attractive?”

Kim squirmed in her seat a little, getting flustered.

“I, uh… I never really thought about it…” She admitted. “To tell you the truth… I’ve always been grateful that my body was sort of average. I’ve been hit on enough times while trying to work as it is, if I had a body like yours…”

Kim shivered at the thought.

“But now…”

“Now you’re trying to win a guy over, and you’re worried what you’ve got to offer isn’t enough, right?” Carly’s guess was right on the money. Her eyes twinkled. “Well, don’t worry. Nick’s not going to care about any of that. And any guy who does? Not worth it, trust me.”

“I-I guess so…” Kim didn’t need Carly to tell her that Nick wasn’t the kind of guy who would pass her over for not looking like some glorified pinup sex doll. But that didn’t stop the feelings of inadequacy that still gripped her heart.

“Are you still worried?” Carly asked, frowning. “I-I don’t know what else to say…”

Now it was her turn to blush.

“To tell you the truth, I don’t usually talk about stuff like this. The girls in my friend circle, they’re either in committed relationships or are playing the field. So you’re the first person in a long time I’ve had to counsel for… well, love advice.”

Suddenly, Kim thought of something. “Wait, all the stuff you’re telling me… do you think that the advice from your transformation is tailored to each person?”

“Hm? What do you mean?” Carly asked, confused.

“Well, just… I thought you’d be giving me a more generic ‘show your skin, touch his body’ advice, but you’re actually giving me honest feedback about myself… so this is what you really think about me, right?”

Carly blinked. “…Well of course. My transformation says to be honest, right?”

Kim nodded. “Yeah… I guess I was just worried that Sylvia would have put words in your mouth or something.” These transformations had really done a number on her brain. She had to face compulsions of her own. Were they her own doing? Or Sylvia's? Or some combination of both?

The cosplayer shook her head. “Well, forget that. Is there anything else you need my help with? Planning out what to do, maybe?”

“Maybe…” Kim had to admit that she still felt self-conscious about her upcoming beach date. “I’m still concerned that we might not end up having fun. What… what if he thinks I’m boring? Last time he was the one to decide what we did, but… I don’t know…”

Part of dating was showing off your best sides to your partner. But she wasn’t sure she could do that.

“I mean… I don’t have anything like a hobby,” Kim explained. “I don’t even have stuff I’m passionate about, unless he wants to hear me talk about economic inequality for a few hours! I just wish… I wish I knew what to do.”

“Hmm… that’s a tricky one alright,” Carly nodded, stroking her chin thoughtfully. “…Here’s what we’ll do. I want you to close your eyes, and imagine that you have a million dollars.”

“A million dollars? Why?” Kim did what she asked anyway, and closed her eyes, picturing what she could do with a million dollars. First thing she wanted was to move her family into a better apartment, or maybe even a house, or-

“Actually, forget that. Imagine you have all the money you could ever want. You don’t have to work another day in your life, you can just sit back and relax and do whatever you want to do.” Carly’s interruption sent Kim’s thoughts in a different direction. She pictured mansions, cars, fancy new outfits. But they all seemed kind of empty somehow.

“What would you do if you didn’t have to work anymore?”

Carly’s question pierced her heart like a knife.

What would she do if she didn’t have to work anymore? If she didn’t have to wake up at five in the morning to commute to some dead-end job wiping floors or stocking shelves or getting yelled at behind a counter.

If Kim could just forget all those responsibilities and do whatever she liked… what would she want to do?

A blank void stared back at her.

“…I don’t know,” Kim admitted glumly, opening her eyes.

“…I see. Well, that’s okay.” Carly placed her hand on Kim’s shoulder and gave her an encouraging smile. “We’ll just have to think harder.”

“What would you do?” Kim asked suddenly. “You know, if you didn’t have to work.”

Carly shrugged. “It’s different with me. I love my job. I guess I’d just cosplay for the rest of my life if I could. …Although I don’t think my body’s gonna hold up forever… so maybe I’d make cosplay for other people? I haven’t really given it much thought.”

Kim nodded, considering what Carly was telling her. “I guess when you love your job that much, it doesn’t even matter if you have money. Being so passionate about something… I spent so much time working as a kid, I guess I never thought about what makes me happy.”

“That’s awful…” Carly shook her head sympathetically. “There’s really not anything that makes you happy?”

“I-I like looking at nature… the Botanical Garden and stuff like that, or those nature walks we did, exploring the island?”

“Okay, so maybe you could just cultivate a garden then,” Carly suggested. “I’ve never done something like that myself, but it sounds fun.”

“I, uh, I don’t know much about gardening or plants, though,” Kim admitted, blushing a little. “I just like looking. I guess…”

Kim closed her eyes and pictured what else in her life made her happy. She saw her mother, and her step-father, and the smiling faces of her siblings.

Slowly, a door in her heart that she’d kept shut for so long cracked open a little.

“…I want a family,” she admitted. “I-I want to get married and have kids.”

Carly seemed shocked by that response. “R-Really?”

“Mhm,” Kim nodded. “But… I can’t. Do you know how much money it costs to raise a child? Let alone multiple kids. I can’t afford that on my income. My mom, she…”

Her hands were trembling. She **** them to stop.

“…I guess I’ll have to keep thinking,” she said with a sigh. “Figure out something else I can be passionate about.”

Carly fixed a smile to her face. “Well, there’s a lot to think about,” she said. “You might be working yourself to the bone here, but you’ve still got a lot of free time. Maybe you could use that to figure out something else you can be passionate about. That way, you won’t have to worry about ‘boring’ Nick anymore.”

Kim took Carly’s advice to heart. Maybe if I had free time, this would be easier, she agreed. Then she remembered that menu, containing all her possible purchases. But she quickly shook that temptation aside.

I need to focus on my date.

Nick’s heart pounded in his chest as he stepped out of the hotel. The sun was just beginning to set over the horizon. He’d been anticipating this moment ever since Sylvia gave him the message.

Kim is really waiting for me on the beach? He couldn’t believe it. It was like she’d read his mind.

Nick still remembered when he first became aware of Kim. The tired-looking attendant who still managed a bright smile that stirred his heart, and seemed to look at him with relief every time he came to see her. He knew now that she’d actually been conscious of him before he became conscious of her, but even back then he could see in her eyes what she needed.

She needed to cut loose; to not have to wear her fake smile, but a genuine one. Multiple times he’d imagined asking her out on her day off, and taking her somewhere where she didn’t have to worry about being on her “customer service” behavior. Where she could just have fun and enjoy herself without issue.

He’d wanted to take her to the beach. Not because he wanted to see her in a swimsuit, but because it seemed like the kind of place the might bring some light to her smile. Walking through the sand on an empty beach as the sun set, imagining they were in paradise… it was a nice fantasy.

And it was standing right in front of him.

Kim was barefoot in the surf, letting the water wash over her toes. She wasn’t in a swimsuit, but he could give that a pass given what Sylvia would have made her wear to suit her fetish. She looked lovely in her school uniform (a phrase that would have creeped him out to consider) with her long black hair drifting slightly in the wind. She tucked a lock behind her ear as he approached, revealing her face in all its glory, and gave him a beaming smile.

Nick’s heart skipped a beach and he froze.

Damn. She really is gorgeous.

What happened to plain Kim Lewis? The girl in front of him looked like she’d stepped out of the pages of a magazine. She approached him slowly, crossing the beach until she was right in front of him, and offered her hand.

“You look surprised. Didn’t Sylvia give you the memo?” She teased.

“She, uh…” Nick composed himself, recovering quickly from Kim’s brilliant smile. “Yeah, I guess I just didn’t expect…”

“Didn’t expect me to try to look my best?” She narrowed her eyes and leaned forward, tilting her head to the side coquettishly. “I’ve been waiting for this for a while, actually.”

“You have?” Nick asked.

“Last week, I used some of my BP to purchase a dream,” she said, turning towards the ocean and gazing out at the orange sea. “It said this was how you wanted me. Just the two of us, together on the beach…”

She turned back to him, her face framed by the setting sun. “Well? Is it what you hoped for?”

“…Yeah,” Nick admitted. “What, um… what else did the dream tell you?” He really hoped she hadn’t been shown any sexual stuff. That would have been awful.

“Take my hand.” Kim held out her hand to him. They’d been holding hands in the dream, after all. “Let’s walk together for a little, and I’ll tell you.”

“Sure.” Nick took her hand in his and they walked parallel to the waves, enjoying the dusk.

“It’s so beautiful,” Kim breathed, brushing her hair behind her ear as the soft breeze caressed it. “You know… I don’t usually get to enjoy the sunset like this.”

“Really?” Nick asked.

“No.” She turned back to him, still wearing that teasing smile. “That was a line from my dream. I didn’t know you imagined me as such a poet, Nick!”

“H-Hey!” Nick flushed. “You can’t use my fantasies against me like that! What does your dream version of me say? Fair is fair!”

“Oh? You think I’m dreaming about you, hmm?” Kim laughed. “That’s a little presumptuous, don’t you think?”

Nick laughed with her. This was good. He was glad she was enjoying herself. When Mary came down and told them all at breakfast that Kim would be too exhausted to join them today, he’d been worried. But she really looked great.

“Are you wearing makeup?” He asked, getting a closer look at her face.

Kim turned red and pulled away slightly, turning towards the water so he couldn’t see her. “It’s, um… it’s just a little thing Carly prepared for me… do… do you like it?”

She glanced cautiously back at him, her heart pounding in her chest.

He didn’t need to answer, though. The look in his eye said it all.

“Yeah, you, um… you look great,” Nick said, nodding.

“Gee, I hope you’re not just with me for my looks!” Kim joked. “I’m teasing, by the way. I know you’re not like that, so no need to get so defensive.”

“You are pretty, I hope you don’t mind me saying that, at least,” Nick offered.

“Well, you’re not a greasy-faced creep trying to pick me up at the end of an 8-hour shift, so I’ll accept that compliment, thank you very much.”

“So, um… you said that the dream you saw, we were on the beach, right?”

“Yeah, that’s right. Surprising, given how you didn’t seem all that excited the last time you saw me in a swimsuit.”

“Well, that was…”

Nick’s voice trailed off as they both remembered the school swimsuit Sylvia had **** Kim into. They both made a face filled with distaste and agreed to forget it.

But he had something else he wanted to know. “In that dream… were you happy?”

Kim’s smile grew even warmer. “I was beyond happy,” she informed him, holding her hand over her chest to feel the soothing pulse of her heart. “It was like… contentment. I didn’t have to worry about the stress of my job, I could just enjoy the moment. I think I even said something like I was glad Sylvia brought me to the island.”

Nick winced. “I am so, so sorry you said that,” he apologized. “Being grateful Sylvia brought you here, that’s-”

“I get it, though.” She cut him off. “What she meant. That me, I mean. She was talking about finally having the opportunity to enjoy life, to have real friends she could spend time with… things that I never could have had, if I’d remained stuck in those dead-end jobs.”

She gazed up at Nick. Her cheeks were hot and her eyes were wet with desire.

“Things like… falling in love.”

“Kim…”

“Shh.” Kim placed her finger over his lips. “It’s fine. We did this, too.”

She leaned in and pressed her lips against his. They shared a chaste kiss in the light of the setting sun, holding each other close as they allowed the moment to just… exist. Just the two of them, here, without another soul in sight.

When the kiss ended, Kim pulled back enough to look him in the eyes, but she didn’t try to leave his grasp.

“I’m not in love with you,” she admitted. “But that ‘like’? It’s more than ‘like’ now. I’m falling, and I don’t know if I should try to stop myself.”

Mary’s face flashed through her mind, but she pushed the redhead aside for a moment. She could be considerate of her buddy… but didn’t she deserve a little something for herself, too?

“I don’t want to stop myself,” she decided, and kissed him again. This time, her hands got a little more ****. She clutched his shirt a little tighter and pushed her chest into his, trying to temp him to… do something.

She didn’t know what until halfway through.

“Touch me,” she said when the kiss broke. Her eyes were hot with passion.

“Wh-What?!”

“It’s fine. We already… that is, you already… you know. Before.” Kim still remembered feeling his hands on her breasts when he fell on her. “It’s not like I don’t enjoy stuff like that too…”

She winced. “Unless, I mean… you don’t want to?”

“No, of course!” Nick was almost as red as she was. “It’s just, you’re sure, right? It’s only our third night together, you know.”

Kim cracked a smile. “You’ve been out of the dating game for a while, haven’t you? Most couples do a lot more than this by the third date. …I assume.”

She knew Nick had done more than this himself, with other girls. But they had their own speeds. She was fine with a little bit of touching. She could give that to him.

And when his hands cupped her breasts and tenderly massaged them, she was grateful she did. She bit her lip, not expecting it to feel so good.

“A-Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Nick looked haunted; maybe he was imagining something he’d done with Gina? Kim couldn’t be sure, but she shook her head.

“I just didn’t expect it to feel so good,” she admitted shyly. “It’s not like last time.”

“Well, last time I kind of fell off a cliff onto you, so that makes sense.”

“Um, can you… can you touch me… down there, too?” She asked shyly. If it felt good to have him touch her boobs, how well would it feel on her-

“Hyeeik!” She gasped, her eyes widening. “I-I meant my ass!”

Nick looked aghast. His hand snapped back and broke free, stumbling across the sand. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t-!”

“N-No, no, it’s fine!” Kim still felt a little hot down there. He hadn’t even gone inside, he’d just rubbed her lips a little, and yet…

Whoa, no wonder Holly is addicted to this.

She took a deep breath and made a decision, approaching him. “It’s okay,” she assured him, taking his hand and leading it back to her breast. “I was just startled, that’s all. You can keep going again.” She bit her lip shyly. “I kinda liked it, actually.”

Nick nodded, relieved he hadn’t upset her. He caressed her modest chest with one hand while his other tenderly rubbed against her lacey lingerie, stroking soft moans out of her. She held him tightly as she did, gazing longingly up into his eyes.

Their lips met again, just as she wanted. An explosive kiss filled with passion like the one from her dream. A kiss that could swallow the world.