Trying To Do The Right Thing

Bethany decided to give things another go with her boyfriend. She wanted to know if they had a future, and to do that, she said she needed for me not to be there distracting her.

That lasted a whole week before she invited me over to talk and ended up asking me to spend the night.

Meanwhile, things were going well with Alice. She was different from any girl I'd ever been with, but that wasn't a bad thing. I learned to enjoy her particular brand of humor.

I smoked with her a few times, and each time the sex was mind blowing. She bought a condo with the help of her parents and she insisted we fuck in every room. Even the hallway got a turn.

We never had the actual, "are we official?" talk, although I think she assumed we were. I was loyal, the only exception being her best friend.

After a month, Bethany gave up on her boyfriend and they broke up officially. He still wanted to be in his daughter's life, but he didn't want to take any next steps in the relationship. Plus, they still hadn't been intimate since she'd started showing.

I couldn't get enough of her, and I wanted her to be mine. However, I was afraid of ruining the girl's friendship. I'd had an ex-girlfriend run off with one of my friends before, and I still remembered how alone and destroyed it had left me.

Alice's casual mention of self harm when I'd met her on our first date still weighed on my mind. I was walking a thin line, and I had no idea how to fix it.

Finally, two months later, I couldn't wait any longer. I was worried Alice was getting too attached to me, and holding off any longer was only going to make it worse. Summer was over, and she was going back to class. I hoped her work would serve as a good distraction.

There is no good way to tell the person you're seeing that you're in love with their best friend since elementary school, and that you've been sneaking around together for months.

So, I decided to go big. I invited her out for sushi and figured I'd break the news when she at least had her favorite meal.

I also wanted to skip the whole, "we've been hooking up behind your back" aspect. Instead, I only planned to tell her I'd fallen for Bethany and wanted to pursue her.

It was the honest thing to do. Or at least the fair thing. I cared about her enough to be respectful. I only hoped she wouldn’t take it too hard.

We agreed to meet at the restaurant, and I arrived first. When she appeared she had a dazed look on her face, and I worried she already knew.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I don't think I can order," she said.

"Why? What's wrong?"

She pulled out her phone and held the screen up to my face.

There, in all its glory, was a picture of a little white plastic stick with two lines on it.

"What."

She pulled the phone back and giggled. "Can you believe it?"

"I- seriously?"

She nodded. She couldn't help but smile.

"Isn't this crazy? I mean, I know we didn't use condoms, but you always pulled out!"

"Well, not always…"

"I can get rid of it, if you want. It wouldn't be the first time. But… I don't know. I really like you." Her face lit up with a big smile. "For the first time, I'm actually more excited than I am scared. It's a weird feeling, and I think it means I found the one. Either way, no matter what you want to do, I'm just happy."

Fuck me.

"We should keep it," my mouth said before my brain ever cleared it to speak.

"Really?" her eyes teared up. "Can we go eat somewhere else, then? I don't even know what's safe for me to eat, but I know sushi is bad!"

"Sure," I said, imagining Bethany's face when I would tell her the news. The thought killed me. But what could I do? Not only was Alice pregnant, she also loved me?

"We could walk over to that Mexican food place. A quesadilla is safe, right?"

"I think so…"

"I'll call Beth. She'll know! Oh, I can't wait to tell her!"

My heart sank as Alice dialed her best friend's number.

"Hey! Guess what? I'm fucking pregnant!" There was a pause, then I heard screaming on the other end. "I know! I can't believe it! So, do you know what I can eat? We were going to get sushi, but now we're thinking Mexican. Yeah, Andrew is taking me out, trying to be nice. Yeah, we're going to keep it. Can you believe it? We'll both be mommies together!"

Fuck.

We stopped at the intersection and I pressed the button for the crosswalk.

“Yeah, he’s here! You want me to put you on speaker? Okay!”

“Hey, congratulations guys!” Bethany said with her best impression of a person happy to hear the news.

“Thanks,” I said. “Yeah, I’m still kind of in shock.”

“Well, since you’re already surprised, I should tell you some news of my own.”

“What’s that?” I asked, feeling numb to the situation already.

Bethany paused dramatically. “I am too.”

“What!” Alice shouted. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. I took a test this morning.”

I talked to her this afternoon. She hadn’t told me. Apparently, she hadn’t wanted to use the news against me. She wanted to let me choose her over Alice on my own.

“Just one test? I took three!” Alice said.

“Five, actually.”

“Congrats! I didn’t think you’d even got any from Will before you broke up. Are you planning on getting back together?”

“Uhh… no. I mean, he didn’t want to work on our relationship after the first one, why would another one change his mind?”

“Damn. I’m really sorry, girl. But don’t worry! Andrew and I will be there for you.”

The mental cloud receded. I’d been numb since Alice hit me with the news, but hearing Bethany’s voice over the phone brought me back to reality. I hadn’t chosen Alice. The only reason I was considering it was because she was pregnant. But if they both were…

“Actually, I have something to tell you,” I said.

“What is it?” Alice asked, still smiling at me innocently.

I took a deep breath. Best to get it over with. “The night at the beach house, when I went to take Bethany out to pick up batteries…”

“Andrew, no!” Bethany said over the phone.

“She was hurting because she was so full, and I offered to help her out by… drinking.”

“Seriously?” Alice asked, still not understanding where I was going.

“One thing led to another, and we hooked up.”

“Oh.”

“I’m really sorry,” I said. “I know we weren’t officially dating yet, but it was still an asshole move for me to do something like that.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m so sorry,” Bethany added.

The light turned green, but we didn’t move.

Alice stared at her phone. “So… Andrew is the father.”

“Yeah.”

She looked back at me. “You have two kids on the way.”

I nodded.

“And he just found out,” Bethany said.

Alice took a step closer and looked up at me. I fully expected a slap, but I didn’t make any moves to dodge it. Instead, she only stared into my eyes as if trying to read my soul.

“Are you ready for this?”

“Not at all,” I admitted.

“Are you going to take care of her?”

“Yes.”

“Are you going to be the father to both of our kids?”

“Yes.”

She smiled.

I still couldn’t believe I wasn’t being punched in the face. The light had already turned red and cars were moving behind me, making me realize how easy it would be for her to push me into traffic.

“I think you’re going to make a great father.”

“Yes he is,” Bethany said.

“There’s more,” I said, moving slightly to the side, just in case.

“Tell me.”

“I love her,” I said.

“Of course you do.” Her expression was unreadable, and it scared me. “How could you not?”

I looked at her phone in its pink case and grit my teeth. Now I was going to hurt both girls. But I needed to say it.

“And I love you, too.”

Alice’s smile returned. “You’d better.”

There was a long silence before Beth asked, “are you okay, Alice?”

“No.”

No one spoke for several seconds. The light turned green again, and Alice took a step out onto the crosswalk. She made it three steps before turning around.

“Come on! I need a quesadilla!”

I hurried after her. Still in shock, I grabbed her hand and she held it.

“What’s going on?” Bethany asked, sounding faint against the cars passing by.

“You should meet us here at the taqueria,” Alice said. “The three of us need to talk.”