Inside the Female Mind (Part 2 of 2)

Shannon Powell

I can do this. I just need to breathe. I do my best to take long breaths though my nose as I try to stay still. And then I wait. I don't move a muscle as I just concentrate on inhaling through my nostrils. Eventually, I can' take it anymore and I finally gag. The second that I do, I open my mouth and lean forward. A moment later, I hear the sound of a wet thud as the dildo hits the floor. I start letting out cough after cough, gasping for air in between each one. I think I ended up getting some saliva in my windpipe, which doesn't feel great, but that doesn't matter. I look over at the timer on my desk. Almost five minutes.

I smile when I see that. That's a new personal best. I can't believe I can go that long at this point. I've always had a really bad gag reflex, so I've been trying my absolute hardest to practice my deepthroating skills. Although, I honestly still can't believe I'm doing this. And all because one of my students told me I was going to suck another student's dick...

That moment was so humiliating. Ms. Garcia completely degraded me. She treated me like nothing more than a worthless cocksucker, and then she... twisted my nipples. Just the thought makes me feel a pit in my stomach. Even though that happened on Monday, I can still remember it so vividly. So why, then, does remembering it turn me on so much? What is wrong with me? And what's wrong with everyone else, for that matter? Everywhere I go, people always seem to do nothing but **** me. And every time, I end up getting wet when they do. I haven't come home from work a single day this week without my panties being completely soaked. I can't tell which is worse: the fact that everyone in the world wants to treat me like shit, or the fact that I seem to get off on it.

Now here I am, doing exactly what Ms. Garcia told me too. I went and purchased this dildo (which the cashier called me a pathetic slut for buying), and I've been giving it a blowjob every day when I get home for multiple hours. Sometimes I do it while watching TV or grading papers, but most of the time, I dedicate all of my attention to learning how to provide the most pleasure possible with my mouth. I've even been watching tutorials online, which only makes me feel more like a slut. Each time I stick that thing in my mouth, I can't help but imagine what will happen when Mr. Anderson actually tells me it's time to do it for real, and every time I do, I'm simultaneously terrified and aroused.

As I finally finish catching my breath, I look up and notice the degree hanging above my desk. "Dr. Shannon Powell" it reads. Honestly, I've recently been thinking about throwing it in the trash. I don't deserve it. Someone as worthless as me doesn't deserve any kind of title. I know part of the reason I think that is because everyone has done nothing but talk down to me these past few weeks, but I'm starting to think that the things they say about me might be right.

Actually, someone accidentally called me "Dr. Powell" earlier today. It completely threw me off when I heard it. That name just doesn't feel right to me anymore. It has too much... dignity. Most of the time, people just call me "Shannon" now, but even that is starting to feel like too much. I don't know if I want a real name anymore. Like I said: I'm worthless. I don't deserve a title. Can you legally remove your name? I know you can legally change it, but that's not the same. I could change my name to "Garbage" or "Cumdump" or even just "Slut" (something tells me that no one would have any problem with me doing something like that), but then I would still have a name. Hearing people call me a whore only feels so good because it strips me of my identity. If I make my name "Whore," then that is my identity. No, I don't like that.

Am I seriously considering this idea? Do I really want to lose my own name? Kind of. I don't think Shannon Powell is the person I am anymore. Dr. Powell was a strong, confident woman who never let anyone push her around. She was strict, frigid, and dominant. Yes, I'm well aware of all the things students said about her, and yes, I think most of those things were true. But I'm not any of those things. I'm weak and submissive. I can't stand up for myself, or at least I don't want to. And most importantly, I... I love when people make me feel like dirt. I revel in having my humanity taken away from me. I don't want to be a person. I want to be an object. I want to be used and then discarded. The only way I can feel alive anymore is if my life is destroyed. How ironic.

As much as I hate to admit it, I really do want to suck Mr. Anderson's cock, because if I do, it will prove that everything people are saying about me is true. Actually, no, that's not right. I don't want to suck his cock. That would imply that I have any say in it. I want him to stick his cock in my mouth and fuck my face. He should have all the control. After all, a trashy nobody like me doesn't deserve any control.

I look back down at the dildo on the floor, still covered in my own drool. It's probably getting a little dirty sitting there like that. Who knows what kind of germs are on that thing by now. I walk around my house barefoot all the time, so there's at the very least some of my sweat down there. As soon as I have that thought, I glance at my feet to see that they do have some visible sweat on them right now. I feel myself quiver slightly. Without thinking, I raise one foot and move it directly above the dildo. My eyes start to glaze over as my foot comes down, stepping on the phallic object, exchanging sweat and saliva between the two.

"Whoops," I mutter in what is probably the least convincing voice ever.

As I remove my foot, I reach down and pick the sex toy off of the floor. I stare at it briefly before checking the time. It looks like I still have time for a bit more practice. I push the dildo past me lips and to the back of my throat, resetting my timer as I do so. I can taste a slight saltiness on it this time, causing me to begin lightly sucking as an almost automatic response. I feel a warm liquid quietly squirt out from between my legs as I do. God, I really am pathetic...

Julia Anderson

I don't know what to do. First, Matt uses some weird magic device on all of us, and now, he brings a random woman home. Something about that Rose girl feels... off. I wouldn't be surprised if whatever he did to us, he did to her too. And to think she lost her job and her apartment... I bet that's Matt's fault too. Whatever is going on, I'm going to figure it out. I need to find a way to get my hands on that thing he's using. The only problem is that I have no idea how to do that. Well, I guess that's not the only problem. There's also the glaring issue that he did something to me, but I still can't figure out what. I haven't noticed anything different.

Ugh, this is driving me nuts. Maybe I should do something fun to take my mind off it. I sit down at my desk and open up my laptop. I know it's a little late, but this always helps me feel better. I go online and start looking around for some browser game to play. Normally, I prefer physical games, like a board game or something, but I can't exactly say the idea of hanging out with my family is that appealing to me right now. Hopefully things will go back to normal once I sort everything out.

I end up on a site that I used to use back in elementary and middle school. You know one of those websites with a bunch of crappy games that everyone would go on during class whenever the teacher wasn't looking? One of those. Man, seeing it again really brings me back. I can't remember the last time I played one of these. As I start replaying some of my favorites, I realize just how much I missed it. A lot of the games are really simple and kind of childish, but I still end up having a lot of fun. Why did I ever stop playing these?

I feel so much better now. To be honest, all of this Matt stuff is kind of boring. I'm still worried about what's happening to Mom and Michelle, but trying to help them is so much work. And I hate work. Work is boring. I wish I could just play games like these all days. Or any games really. We never really did a family game night like other families, what with Mom working all the time and Matt and Michelle arguing so much. I would love to do more of that. I would even settle for playing with toys or a classic tea party. Just as long as I don't have to do anymore work. In fact, I've noticed that I've had a harder time paying attention in class recently. I wonder if that has anything to do with whatever Matt did to me...

No, I don't think so. I think that's just me getting tired of school. I've been doing that stuff for so long, and I'm not nearly as smart as someone like Michelle, so I end up having to study way too much. I'm sick of it! I wish I could just have fun all day. But people always say playing games are for kids, and I hate when people call me a kid. What's so wrong with a grown woman playing with toys?

I wonder if there are any games for adults. Without really thinking, I open a new tab and type "adult games" into my search bar. Instantly, I'm greeted with links to a bunch of dirty websites. Whoopsie! I didn't mean to do that. I'm about to close the tab when one of the search results catches my eye. Actually... something about this one sounds like it could be fun. I click on it and before I now it, I'm in the middle of some kind of raunchy porn game. I should probably stop, but after trying it out for a few minutes, I start getting into it.

Man, there's a lot of stuff I've never heard of in this game. I'm not exactly a pure angel, but I'm quickly realizing just how boring my sex life has been. I kind of want to try some of this stuff. After a while, I look at the clock to realize an hour has past since I started. I really should get back to figuring out what I'm going to do about Matt... but I guess it can't hurt to play a little longer...

Katia Lipovsky

I still cannot get over it. I actually did a stream yesterday, and people watched it. I thought it would just be me and Matt, but no. Even right now, I am still staring at my screen, looking at the donation I was given. I just thought this was a fun think people liked doing for attention. I did not know you could make money from streaming. Is it really that easy? Is all I have to do play a game and shake my butt for a camera and people pay me? That idea is making me very excited between the legs. I love the idea of random people I do not know sending me money because they think I look pretty.

I have been doing research and apparently a lot of people play games and look cute on stream as their job. Can you imagine? I could make a living off of having fun and teasing people. What more could I want? Still, I am not sure if I have what it takes. I know those people said a lot of nice things in my chat, but will I be able to get enough people to turn streaming into a full-time career? I am not sure.

I wonder what Matt thinks. He seems to be good at these kinds of things. He definitely likes to look at me. Hehe. I really like it when he looks at me. It makes me feel all warm and happy and a little excited. I love it when anyone looks at me, but I think he is my favorite. He was also my first fan, so that makes him extra special. I wish I could ask him for help right now, but it is really late and I do not want to bother him.

He did tell me after the stream that I did a really good job and I attracted a lot people for my first ever stream. Maybe that is a good sign. Maybe I can do this. It is not like I have to drop out of school. I can try to make this a job and if does not work out, I can do something else. But I really do want to make this work. I look at my username and think. I know I came up with "Peach Delight" as a silly joke, but I have come to really like the name over the past day. I really like being Peach. She feels like a part of me now. A very sexy part of me that drives everyone crazy. Yes, I definitely like her a lot.

If I am really going to do this, I need to do something special. I do not want to be a boring streamer who just sits and plays a game for a few hours. I want to stand out and maybe even turn people on. What if I was able to get people to touch themselves while watching me? That sounds perfect. I want every dick to be hard and every pussy to be wet for me. For Peach. One day, I want people to moan the name "Peach Delight" as they orgasm. But how can I do that? How can I grab people's attention?

I need to give people a show they will never forget. Wait... I think I may have an idea. I have been looking at a very sexy outfit online, but I have been unsure if I should buy it. That may be just what I need right now. Let me see if I can pull it up again...

Amelia "Amy" Turner

I'm completely in awe right now. I never expected to improve so quickly. I turn slightly, raise my arm up, and flex. When I do, I see a small bump rise up from my bicep. Sure enough. I really have muscles now...

How long have I been standing here? I feel like it's been a while. Every time I say I'm done, I just continue to stare into the mirror, my eyes tracing over every inch of my body. To think, not that long ago, I used to have this mirror covered. I absolutely hated looking at myself, so when I saw a full length mirror was attached to the back of the bedroom door of this apartment, I was terrified. Terrified at the thought of having to see my own reflection every time I closed the door. So I covered it up. The entire time I've been living here, this mirror was hidden. Until yesterday. And now look at me, standing here in nothing but my bra and panties, gawking at my own figure.

I hesitantly reach out and poke my arm as I continue to flex. As I do, I can feel the muscle in my arm push back. The feeling is both incredibly tough, while still having a tiny amount of give to it. I go around my body and perform the same test. I poke my stomach, my legs, even my chest. It's the same feeling in each spot. I'm not used to that sensation. Normally when I touch a part of my body, all I can feel is bone. Cold, hard, unappealing bone.

I've made all this progress in such a short amount of time. I only started going to the gym about a week ago, and in just that short amount if time, I've gone from a scrawny nobody to someone who actually looks pretty in shape. There's still plenty of room for improvement, so I have no intention of stopping anytime soon, but it's still crazy to see such a visible difference. Besides, I've really been loving my trips to the gym. I just feel so happy when I'm working out there.

As I strike a few poses (something I don't think I've ever done before), a thought occurs to me. I look kind of good right now. I always used to think I was weird-looking. Not necessarily ugly, but definitely not something that anyone would want to look at. But now, I feel like I almost look... attractive. Is that narcissistic to say?

Actually... you know what? Who cares? Hell yes, I look good! And I'm only going to look better from here. Man, I really like this new version of myself. I feel like I can do whatever I want. In fact, what's stopping me? I've spent my whole life worrying about what other people think of me, but now, I can't understand why I did that. I'm my own person. I shouldn't let fear dictate my life. I'm sick of quietly sitting in the back of every room I enter, trying to disappear and avoid any kind of human contact. I want people to see me now. I place my hand on my hip and try my best to give a sexy, confident stance. Honestly, I think I nailed it. And in the end, isn't what I think what really matters?

"Yeah! I'm Amelia Fucking Turner! I don't give a shit what anyone says about me!" I state assertively.

God, that felt good to say! I even like the way my voice sounds more than I used to. It's like I'm actually hearing myself for the first time in my life, and I fucking love it! When I look back in the mirror, I notice a wet spot forming on my panties. Before, I probably would have gotten embarrassed, but now I just smile. That was pretty hot, wasn't it?

This has actually been happening to me a lot lately, which is a bit unusual. Normally, my cunt is as dry as a desert. It's not like I've never had fantasies, but I never fully let myself indulge in them. But recently, I've found myself absolutely dripping with arousal when I exercise. Is that normal? I never used to work out, so I'm not sure. Every time it happens, I get really nervous, though. I guess I'm worried that someone might smell it or something, but now that I feel this rush of confidence, I'm once again left wondering why I cared so much. So people know I'm horny. So what? If they don't like it, they can leave. Like I give a damn. Though, if people do like it, I don't mind that either. In fact, there's something kind of appealing about that idea...

Anyway, I should probably get to bed. Since I don't have class, I have a full routine planned for tomorrow. Gotta make the extra time count! As I finally turn away from my mirror, my eye is caught by my closet. Hmm... you know, after Matt suggested I get some proper outfits to exercise in, I ended up buying a pretty wide variety of stuff. When I got home that day, I realized that some of the things I got where a bit... revealing. At the time, I was horrified. I had no idea why I thought it was a good idea to pick them up. Since then, I've only been going to the gym in t-shirts and yoga pants. But I can wear whatever I want. Now that I no longer care what people think, there's no reason I can't wear something a little more flattering. I do have the body for something like that now...

Fuck it. I know what I'm going to wear tomorrow. And I'm going to look damn good in it...

Rose Mitchell

I love this so much. Today has been absolutely perfect. I mean, I guess it sucks that I lost my job, but that feels so far away at this point. I'm living with the love of my life. I'm even sleeping in bed with him. How can I think of this day as anything other than perfect? I've even been naked all day! As if everything else wasn't great enough! Seeing everyone look at my nude body is so hot! Especially when my Matt looks at me. Every time he looks at my bouncing tits or my wet pussy, it's almost like I can feel a mini orgasm.

The only thing that I'm really upset about is how long it took me to realize that Matt was the one for me. I'm ashamed to admit that he didn't take my virginity today. I'm such an idiot! Why didn't I save myself for him? I know I only met him recently, but I still should have known better! I mean, it feels so obvious now. Why didn't I see it back when we first met? I did think he was kinda cute back then, but that was stupid. He's not just cute. He's the epitome of man. He's everything I could possibly want in a partner. He's handsome, smart, nice, has a good relationship with his family... I could go on forever. The fact that he accepted someone like me into his life is a miracle, even if I am his soulmate.

I'm still not sure about this sharing thing, though. Obviously, I want him to be happy more than anything, and I can tell he likes being able to fuck other women (and just to be clear, I would NEVER be with another man besides him at this point). I'm sure that deep down, he loves me just as much as I love him, but if push came to shove, would he pick me over anyone else? I know that we belong together, but does he fully understand that? I'm not suggesting that I have him all to myself, even if that is a nice thought. He deserves endless pleasure, and if that means having a harem, then I don't mind. I just want to make sure that it's me he's coming back to at the end of the day.

If I want that to happen, then I guess I'll just have to work even harder to prove my love for him. Yeah! I'll make him fall so far in love with me, that he'll never forget who his one true partner it! Every other girl will just be a toy for him! He'll fuck them, but it won't mean anything. In fact, he'll probably be imagining me while he's doing it! That's perfect! This way, we get the best of both worlds! Lots of sexy girls with wet pussies AND a future full of romance and companionship together. I can even help him with his other women. If he wants me to, of course.

I'm glad I figured all this out. I promise you, Matt, I'm going to do everything in my power to give you anything you could possibly want. I'll be the best girlfriend ever. Then the best fiancée ever. Then the best wife ever. We'll have such a good life together. We'll own a mansion where we live in the master bedroom and all of your little playthings can move in to our many guest bedrooms. And everyone can be naked all the time! That sounds awesome! I can't wait until... until... uh... I... wait, what's...

...

What was I saying? Oh, right. I was thinking about Matt and my future together. Well, I better get started trying to find a way to make all of that happen. I'm not sure how exactly I will, but I know I'll find a way. I have to! I'll brainstorm some ideas tomorrow. Although, now that I think about it, I should probably put on some clothes when I get up. I don't mind being naked right now, since it's just the two of us, but it was kind of awkward not wearing anything around his family today. Not sure why I did that. Whatever. Probably not worth thinking about too much. I'll have to thank Matt for insisting on bringing all my clothes here. It was silly of me to think I wouldn't need them. He's the best.

Now let's see... if I want us to live in a big mansion together, we're going to have to earn quite a bit of money. It's too bad I don't have a job anymore, though there's no way I would have earned anywhere close to enough with a dead-end job like that. Something else to think about, I guess. It's too bad we can't earn money from having sex. Matt and I are really good at that...

Actually, that gives me an idea. Not an idea of how to earn money, unfortunately, but something that could be fun for me and Matt to try. It's actually really hot now that I'm thinking about it. Just imagine it: him picking me up, acting like he doesn't know me. Then we come back here or get a hotel or something. And then... he pays me like some kind of...

I bite my lip. God, my pussy is aching just thinking about it. Why have I never had this idea before? What an fantastic roleplaying scenario that would be. And I bet Matt would really like that too. I should do it. I know I said I was going to work on this plan for the future, but this idea takes priority. It's just too sexy to not give a try. But... I don't know if I have an appropriate outfit for this. I know! I'll go out and pick something up first thing in the morning. Matt is going to be so surprised!

I try my best to settle down and get to sleep, but it's hard to fully calm down. I'm just so excited! This is going to be so much fun! Tomorrow can't get here soon enough...