It tells the queer of availability

I was completely hooked by this experience . Parading in panties in the open . It was intoxicating . It was done to be seen by men - who would take in how I was dressed and assume my dressing as a woman meant I accepted being dealt with as a woman which would include being fucked by them if they so wished .

My experience is that_ can _happen but it does not work as simply as stated . The extent to which homosexuals are attracted to crossdressed or ' sissy ' homosexuals is not simply that a dressed sissy is pretty ( which I am not ) like a woman and so attracts men by ' her ' physical charms . I can only speak from my own experience but I think that being in womens' clothing but still being obviously a man makes it clear ( especially in the situation of a ' stroll ' ) that you are a willing and pliable partner for sex with another man , and thats all .

So it was clear to men whom I signaled ( by hiking my skirt , or sometimes passively by hanging a pair of panties at the entrance to my 'cottage ' ) that I wanted physical companionship - no possibility of ambiguity what you are about when you are wearing womens’ knickers , and that clarity made negotiation simple . " What are you into ? " or " I don't suck cock " might be the first words spoken . But a substantial fraction of men in these homosexual haunts clearly find crossdressers off-putting . Instead of responding to a hiked skirt by catching my eye they would coldly walk past or scowl .

I cannot reconcile those rejections with my knowing that all men in these haunts are homosexual or intending on having homosexual release . How can you be judgemental about me - a fellow fag - just because of my wished for effeminacy . Surely a ' no thanks ' or ' sissies aren't my thing ' would be easy .

It may be that such men are assuming that another man dressed as a woman is wanting anal sex and they find that abhorrent ( I understand ...it is disgusting when you consider there is shit involved ) . Presumably they are OK for sex with men that is not anal .

The men who do respond to my flirtations do not necessarily want anal sex . Some do - I wish there more as it is the best fit for my desires , but it is not the the commonest request - which is for someone to suck their penis ( often there is no spoken request ; simply a gesture - pulling me down to an exposed penis for example ) for which purpose they ( correctly ) surmise a sissy faggot in panties will do perfectly well - and will not expect ( or can be disregarded for ) being sucked off in turn .

Which leads to thinking whether being a sissy and a crossdresser are the same . In my case they do go together , but they are different things . One is wearing clothing ( inappropriate , against societal acceptance or taboo ) . The other is an attitude of mind that combines a need to be submissive particularly where sexual penetration is involved ; and pleasure in being dominated and controlled , again particularly for sex , but not exclusively ( - being called insulting names , or sarcasm about how I look -not much like a woman despite the panties , feels good ) . Control should include a physical component such as spanking , or rough positioning although these and bondage are recognisable as the related perversion of ' sado-masochism '.

Subdividing these behaviours doesn't help anything ( unless you happen to be one of those guys who scowled at me when I flashed my pretty things at you - maybe in the future you will not miss out ! ) . And although physically dressing as a woman is distinctive , being a sissy is less precise - you can yearn to be very used and passive , or you might retain and manifest pride . I am very much the sissy in thinking ; I want to be used - even mock **** ; I like being called , faggot , bitch ,queer , cock-sucker etc ; I want my dress or bra to be noticed - even jeered at ( I am not at all ' passable ' by the way ) and pulled at , even ripped .

Although I use the words ' pervert ' and ' perversion ' I think it is acknowleded that homsexuality itself occurs more widely than the two narrow categories of ' straight or homo ' . ' The description ' Pervert ' is often resented , but I like the clear thinking that goes with admitting to myself that it is what I am . I didn't choose to be that way so I am only ashamed to the extent it has **** me to suppress or hide it . I never had the courage to come out , and admire those who have .

There are many other sex activities which men look for that do not exclude a crossdressing partner - I have been in some and am sure there are more to encounter . One variant is simply curiosity . There have been guys I have met with in a stroll who were simply fascinated seeing a dressed up pervert , and absorbed my conduct with evident interest . I may describe them later .

Describing the dirty ( and true ) events is what you likely want to read about and when I think I am arousing you the reader , I get stirrings in my panties so in the next chapter I will include some some things I have done with strangers .