Gullible Kendall

"Kendall," I continued. "You are very gullible, and will believe everything I tell you as an absolute fact, unless it is something that will actively harm you or someone you know. So if I say 'pigs can fly', you'll believe it, but if I say 'drinking bleach is okay', you won't believe that."

I wasn't a psychotic madman. I only wanted some lighthearted fun. I woke her up.

"Hi," she said, fluffing her hair. "I'm Kendall Jenner."

"I'm aware of who you are," I said. "And I know you're a cumslut."

"What?" Kendall asked.

"A cumslut. It's French for a refined, dignified lady."

Kendall smiled. "Yep, that's me, Kendall the cumslut!"

"You're so smart I'm surprised you didn't know that," I said. "Just like how I'm surprised you didn't know that the smartest people in the room are to be on their knees in the presence of dumber people, as a sign they aren't too full of themselves."

"Oh my God you're so right!" Kendall knelt in front of me.

"Kendall, you're smart enough to know I would never trick you."

"Of course."

I smiled.