Scene 12

Stepping out of the car, Jackson touched his hand to his smooth cheek where Linc had just kissed him. His friend had dropped him off at the front of the Mega Corp building, promising to be back later after a dentist appointment. Jackson gave him a nervous wave as he drove off, not sure he could do this. Everything was just so much, each car that went by, every person that walked by on the street or past to go inside the building felt jarring and repressive. Ever since the previous night when he had to tell Linc that no he wasn’t getting make up sex or any type of sex, like that would ever be a thing, his nerves had been giving him trouble. He had been coming down from the Xanax his sister had given him and when he had snuck out of the bedroom to look in her purse for some more, he hadn’t found any. Then he had gotten the worst news possible or close to it when she was helping him get ready for the day.

Jackson sat on the bed he now shared with his friend in a pair of lacy red cheeky panties, a matching bra that thankfully did a great job at supporting the fake breasts. While his sister put his much shorter and much blonder hair into an updo, securing it all in place with a black head band. “Hey, umm Maddy, can I get some of your pills? They have more than worn off, I really didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“Would if I could little sis, but one prescription isn’t made to handle the both of us and I still need them.”

“Maddy, I’m sitting here wearing panties.” ‘Soft panties that made me use a corn washcloth in order to get myself tucked away.’ He thought. “I’m freaking out, I haven’t been out or…” Jackson closed his eyes taking a deep breath, one of the last he would be able to do before his sister put the vice like corset around his waist again. “You have been giving them to me since you had me dress up and I’m not sure I can do this.”

Standing behind her brother, Madison put her hands on his shoulders before slipping them forward to embrace her sibling as she bent down, holding him tight. “I know this is tough for you, but it will be good for you to face the day as yourself without some chemical changing how you feel.” Jackson reached out to touch her clasped hands, frowning.

“You can do that and give me your pills instead, I won't be exactly myself.” Madison shook her head, still holding her brother.

“Not yet, but give it a little time.” She thought about the changes that had happened to Jackson so far, the change in his hair, the lip filler, the lip flip making it so his newly white teeth would show when his lips were at rest. The complete change to wardrobe, the way he walked, sat, moved his hands as he talked, no one would confuse Jacqueline for Jackson. So much had changed, but she knew it wasn’t enough or at least she tried to understand. “For now if you need something to help you should make an appointment to see a therapist, you said work was trying to set you up with one right?”

“Yeah… and you are right, I just have to be patient. It is just so hard, you know?” Things had felt like they were getting worse with what Linc wanted him to do… or what he said was going to happen to help himself and keep his sister from making a mistake.

That was earlier and despite Jackson admitting he had to be patient, it was incredibly hard to even consider that an option as he stood out front of the building, positive all eyes were on him. People quietly made fun of him for being a sissy as he stood there in the ribbed long sleeve wrap around dress, dark pantyhose and five inch, double ankle strap pointed toe heels. With his eyes made up with the red eyeshadow like he wore it the other day, red lips, heavy gold double ringed earrings and a gold heart pendant around his neck. Jackson just knew he looked like some tarted up secretary and considering he was a male he shouldn’t be wearing any of it! ‘Deep breath, deep breath, just go inside, don’t say a word to anyone. Get to your desk and make a call to the therapist to ask for something to help keep you calm. We can do this… god…’ Jackson let out a small whimper as he moved into the building, foot heeled foot in front of the other. Every step inside the tiled building causing small spikes of anxiety.

Jackson took calming breaths, the corset kept them from being deep breaths, but he tried to work with what he had. Catching the receptionist's eyes he gave her a small smile when she looked his way, adding a small wave with his fingers, wanting to just get by. “Jackie? Oh wow, I mean seriously girl! Lilian walked around her desk to give her work friend a quick hug. “If you didn’t wave at me I wouldn’t have recognized you girl! Seriously, like seriously you look amazing Jackie. You pull off the blonde look, I just love it!” Lilian stepped back, giving a little space as she took her in. “I swear you are getting skinnier too, that just isn’t fair. I have been trying to lose the same five pounds for months, but I guess it would be easier if I could give up rocky road ice cream. I wish I had your figure, so unfair!”

More than before Jackson wished he had a Xanax to put in his mouth. Almost everything she said felt demasculinizing. This girl he would love to bed, was comparing herself to him and being jealous, it was more than a little wrong and like she said, unfair. “T-thanks Lil, but you shouldn’t say things like that.”

“That you look amazing, that you are gorgeous? Please, you are putting in the work, you deserve it.” Jackson shook his head, he was putting in work, not the type of work he wanted to do, but pretending to be a girl, just standing there in the tall heels that he was sure no real woman would wear walking around an office was work.

“No, I mean…” He looked her over, she thought her hip to waist, to chest proportions were sexy as hell. The girl was no Jessica Rabbit, but no real person was. “You look beautiful… and.” Jackson touched one hand to his stomach, before having to adjust the strap of his purse. “I’m honestly envious of you.”

“Me?!”

“Sure, I mean like I’m cheating using a corset, but you.” Jackson spoke trying to remember he was supposed to be a flirty, ditzy girl and had to catch himself from reaching out to touch her waist. “You have what all us girls are trying for, rocky road or not.” Jackson added a giggle at the end, that made him want to find the nearest dark hole to crawl into. He hadn’t wanted to talk to anyone and here he was having this conversation.

“Aww, you are just too sweet! Corset or not, you are looking amazing, like I said. Not boring like me, I’m still upset that I can't wear my contacts to have golden eyes.” Jackson really didn’t want to get bogged down even more talking to the girl about the office dress code and doubly so out here in the front lobby.

“You looked wonderful with them, but listen Lil, I have to get to my desk, can’t be late ya know?”

“Don’t let me keep you and you have a splendid day!” Jackson gave her his best calm reassuring smile that he could manage while he felt his heart pounding in his chest.

“You too Lil, we will like talk later!” He gave her another girly little wave with his fingers before moving on to the elevator. The entire ride up he felt like every single person’s eyes were on him, even if they weren’t even facing him. His heels were too high, his dress was too short, the fake breasts while looking real were too big. Linc’s words matched Lilian’s and what Madison told him before he left, but he didn’t think he could have anything close to a splendid or good or even okay day, at best he might be able to pull off not having a panic attack, but that wasn’t looking good. With every step in his heels, every sway of his hips he was getting closer to his small desk, it was in sight. All he had to do was sit down and make a phone call, once the therapist heard what he was going through he was sure they would send a prescription to the nearest pharmacy, god he hoped that was true. He always heard about how doctors over prescribed pain killers and how it was a problem. Xanax wasn’t some crazy opioid that people got addicted too, he hoped it wasn’t going to be a problem.

“There she is!” Jackson stopped in his tracks when the large frame of Abe stepped in front of him with his normal cocky grin.

“Ahhh Hi, I was just…” Jackson took a step to the side pointing towards his desk, but he didn’t get any further or to say much else as his outstretched hand was taken in the larger man’s firm callused hand as he stepped closer, Abe’s other hand pressing on his lower back. Jackson moved along with him as he was ushered down to the end of a cubicle hallway till they got to the larger of cubicles that had Abraham’s name listed out front along with his title as lead salesman.

“Abe, I…”

“You had a good time on Friday? I did too.”

“Yeah…” Jackson swallowed, having a few drinks bought for him after the tough day was nice, but he didn’t want to have the conversation about when he would fulfill his promise of paying next time.

“And that movie… that was a good time.” The mention of the movie made Jackson feel a little bad, he didn’t recall the movie. A shitty thing considering Abe had paid for it too.

“It was, but umm honestly I don’t remember it. Long day, I was a bit distracted, ya know?” He was ready to offer to pay him back when he felt the man’s hands around his waist before picking him up and placing him on the edge of the desk. “Ooooh!” Jackson hadn’t been expecting much, but to be picked up so easily and moved to the desk wasn’t something he would have guessed would have happened.

“Distractions like that happen, perfectly natural. We can always go out and try seeing it again, see if we get distracted again, or maybe I could cook us a nice home cooked meal. I have some veal in the freezer, I could turn it into some schnitzel.” Getting her to come to his place would be the perfect time to show her how a real man treated a lady, not like her current boyfriend.

Jackson blinked a few times, he hadn’t had decent German food in years, there was a great place for it not too far away, but he hadn’t really been able to afford eating out. “You know how to make schnitzel!? I would love that!” Abraham couldn’t help smiling when her face lit up at his invitation. He moved a little closer glancing down at her legs, sure he had put her up on his desk, but she had her legs apart like she was inviting him to come closer. Seeing where the man’s eyes went Jackson realized he wasn’t sitting like a lady should, he clapped his legs together quickly, before crossing them, one leg over the other like his sister had taught him. It wasn’t till he crossed them that he second guessed himself, that he shouldn’t be doing that, he should be getting down. His cheeks blushed with embarrassment and he looked away from Abe, he had just been sitting like a guy, but all of his thoughts halted as he was looking down and saw the man’s hand land on top of his thigh. Feeling his warm hand on his leg Jackson looked up, feeling the man’s thumb move around in a small circle, causing a shiver to run down his spine. He didn’t want to be touched by a man, but couldn't help enjoy the feeling of his nylon covered shaven legs being rubbed.

“Half my family is from Germany, I promise once you come over and see what I have to offer it will change your life Jacqueline.” Abraham said as shifted a few inches closer, leaning forward to press his lips to the beautiful girls who had just accepted his offer to come to his home. Jackson was worried about every little thing, like offending the man he looked up to for not remembering the movie he paid for, sitting like a man, why he was still sitting up on the desk, why he let the hand on his leg linger, it was so much that while he saw his coworker leaning closer it didn’t click what was about to happen till it was too late.

Feeling the man’s lips on his own, his scratchy face touching him, Jackson put one hand on Abe’s chest, pushing on him, the other clasping onto the desk to keep himself from falling off as he leaned back. While Abraham kept one hand on the girl's nylon clad leg, the other came up to the back of her neck as he continued to kiss her. His libido went crazy as she stayed to lay down on his desk, he loved how forward she was with what she wanted, and while he knew they couldn’t do something like that here, at least not during office hours he very much wanted it just like her.

“Mr. Downings I hope you don’t mind I brought you…” Jackson took a gasp of hair, looking at the mousy girl with her long brown hair up in a high ponytail as she stood in the doorway to Abe’s cubicle with an oversized mug of coffee in one hand and a look of surprise on her face. “Coffee…” The girl finished in a harsher tone than she had started before practically shoving the mug into Abe’s hands as he turned to face her.

“Ahh thanks Vin, I appreciate it.” Abraham said in a nervous tone, a mile difference from his normal confident one.

“Well I see you are busy…” Jackson sat there, sitting up, looking at the girl in horror. At what she had just seen, at what had just happened and hardly taking in how the girl glared at him hard enough to **** if looks could kill.

“I… I need to go!” Jackson said, getting off the desk as quickly as he could and trying to move past the two in the cubicle. In his rush he tried to avoid them, but even with Abe’s cubicle being larger than others, it still wasn’t a large space considering the girl was standing in the doorway and he ended up bumping his shoulder into hers.

“Jacqueline, wait!” Abe cried out as Jackson left the cramped area.

“Let her go, I’m sure she isn’t done with her morning rounds.” Jackson heard Abe say something after that, but he was too far away to hear exactly one as he made his way as quickly as his heeled feet would allow to the bathroom.

Getting inside he put both his hands on the sink counter, taking one breath after another trying to count to gain control of himself, but seeing the blonde woman in the mirror with smeared lipstick wasn’t helping the situation. Closing his eyes Jackson tensed all of his muscles, causing him to shake slightly all over. ‘Football, Dolphins… Dan Marindo, Quarterbacks. Tua, Ryan Fitz, Ryan Tann, Jay…’ Jackson stood there for a few minutes with his eyes closed as he thought about recent quarterbacks for his team, trying to put them in reverse order. When the world felt like it was no longer closing in on him he slowly opened his eyes again, once again seeing the woman in the mirror who had clearly just been doing something with her mouth.

“Jacqueline, I am Jacqueline Hart, I am Jacqueline Hart. I love my job, I love looking pretty. I love looking hot, I love looking pretty. I love makeup, I adore my heels.” He said out loud looking at himself in the mirror, before looking down at his foot as he turned his heeled foot to the side, trying to remember who he was supposed to be, at least far as anyone at Mega Corp was concerned. With another breath he opened up his purse to repair his makeup. “I need to look my best.” He wiped about the smeared mess, uncapping the lipstick and turning the bottom. Jackson was focused on his lips, about to apply the makeup when his thoughts drifted back to what had just happened. ‘Why did he do that!? Did I give him some sort of sign that… I had my legs open like some tart! Fuck! Wait then why did he sit me up on his desk!? How strong is that man to lift me up like that? Was it his intent to kiss me? If so, me opening my legs wouldn’t have… maybe he saw how uncomfortable I was standing in these stupid stilts. Shit, shit, shit I don’t know. Does he think I like him? Does he like me!? Dan Marino super bowl nineteen, Dolphins vs forty niner’s Joe Montana.’ Jackson calmed himself once more, pushing aside his thoughts to try and focus on what he had to do. Fix his makeup and then get to his desk to make a phone call. ‘Just a little bit more Jackson and everything will be better.’

Getting closer to his desk Jackson felt relieved, until he saw Dunn standing in the doorway to his office, glancing down at his watch. “Sixteen minutes late Miss Hart, not very punctual and you also don’t seem to have my morning coffee in your hand either.”

“Mr. Dunn I can explain, first Lil… Lilian at reception wanted to talk to me and then Abraham…” Alexander held up one hand to get his secretary to stop talking.

“I’m not interested in your morning gossip routine, this is a professional environment and I expect you to be on time. Now why don’t you put away your purse and come into my office, you can sit on my lap while we discuss the week ahead of us.”

Opening his mouth to protest, no words came out as the broad shouldered man turned and walked into his office, fully expecting him to follow. Jackson knew he had made an agreement with the man to act flirty in order for Linc to keep his job and keep his boss from trying anything more like Tabitha had mentioned, but he definitely never considered having to do it without the assistance of his sister's pills. Feeling small and defeated, Jackson followed the man in, thinking about how everything would fall apart in a horrible way if suddenly Linc got fired, not getting the promotion if he didn’t keep up his end of the deal. Jackson truly knew for a fact he needed to talk to a therapist with what his life had changed into. Closing the door behind him, Jackson sashayed around the desk before sitting sideways in the older man's lap, looking into his light blue eyes. “Yes sir, what would you like to talk about sir?