"Uh, yeah, sure. I'll be out in a minute."

Great. I'd been caught masturbating by my new roommate on my very first evening in the dorm. But my back was turned and I was just sat at my desk, maybe she had no idea. She didn't seem to react, at least. Buttoning up my jeans and wiping the sticky residue from my fingers, I stepped out into the communal area. Allie patted a spot on the sofa, and I sat where she indicated, between her (on my left) and Emily (on my right). To Emily's right sat her roommate Laura, and the other two guys completed the circle.

"So, what are we playing?" I asked.

"We were in the middle of Never Have I Ever," Emily replied.

Of course. What better way to get to know each other than by drinking to lower our inhibitions and being peer-pressured into sharing our personal secrets? The upper-year students who were assigned to our flat to guide us through our first week had advised us against it, but of course we didn't listen.

"Okay, cool. Where were we up to?"

"I was just saying," said Laura, "that we were being too tame. It's time to kick things up a notch."

Everyone murmured their agreement, not wanting to seem boring in front of their new flatmates but, I suspect, all slightly nervous of what they might be asked to reveal.

"Great!" said Laura. "Sam, since you were late, you can go next!"

"Oh, uh, okay..."