But a new one begins

When Katie got back from her trip, a lot happened at once. Even though she was crying and trembling with apprehension, she served you divorce papers. She told you that she was sorry, but that she couldn’t keep lying to you anymore. She had been having sex with Brian for months. She was in love with Brian. And even though she hadn’t done a DNA test, she was almost certain that her baby was Brian’s. She had already signed her name on the papers, and you just needed to sign yours. You told her you wanted to talk about things. She shook her head. “I’m sorry, but- I’ve made my decision. I’m going to love with Brian now.” She told you. Despite your protests and begging, she packed her things.

After that, Brian and Katie lived together a few doors down from you. Sometimes when you were driving to work, you would see Brian stepping out of the doorway only to have Katie pull him back for a kiss in their doorway. Sometimes Katie, by now very pregnant, would sit on their porch and watch him mow the lawn. Sometimes you’d see them swimming in the pool together, playing and laughing. In the end, you had to accept reality. Their affair wasn’t going to end, and Katie wasn’t going to come back to you. You had to move on. You signed the papers.

A couple months later, Katie and Brian got married. You didn’t attend the wedding even though Katie invited you. You did see pictures online though. Katie looked beautiful. By the time of the wedding Katie’s baby bump was very obvious, but she still looked radiant in her elegant white dress. You tried to judge whether she looked happier in this wedding or in your own. It was impossible to know. But in every picture she had a big, warm smile, and there were lots of pictures of her kissing your bully and beaming at the prospect of being his forever. You hated seeing the two newlyweds all the time, so you moved away. But for some reason, you couldn’t help but check on her on social media every now and then.

They had their first child, a daughter named Bella. Katie posted a lot about how much she loved being a mom. You knew you shouldn’t look at these posts. That it would only haunt you. But you couldn’t resist. Maybe it was because you still loved Katie. A year passed, and then two. Katie posted another big announcement. She was pregnant again. She joked that they needed to slow down or Brian would end up with an entire soccer team. But Katie didn’t really look perturbed or overwhelmed in any of the pictures. She looked content. She’d always told you that she wanted a family, and now she’d gotten it. You tried to be happy for her. But you couldn’t help but stay awake at night, wondering. If you had done something differently- been braver, more honest, more mature- could things have been different? But those thoughts were meaningless. Despite all the wondering, the fact remained.