How to carry on

The last few days had been incredibly tough for Bailey with all he experienced. Aunt Megan was never someone he would ever have expected to really confide in, but she had been there for him. Listening when he could bring himself to talk about what happened, a co-conspirator in plans for **** and just physically there when all he could do was cry as the memories of feeling powerless as he was used returned. She had taken him back to her place to watch over him and instead of forcing him on a date like the previous day she was just there for him. When he was in the shower the night before, hair up in a shower cap, he had slid down the tiled wall to sit on the floor. Bailey had brought his knees up to his chest… the chest that was a big part of the problem. He wrapped his arms around his legs, holding himself as he cried again. Not only had he felt powerless, his oldest friend had left him there to be fucked, to be spit roasted and… and… Bailey sobbed thinking how much he enjoyed it, how he had cum more than once that night.

Sex was supposed to be enjoyable, Peaches he loved sex! Yet this was different, his dick was locked away behind some new age prosthetic that had a built in vibrator around his dick. It had come to life when he was on the motorcycle, he had cum from riding on the back of his old motorcycle because of the thing trapping his manhood and then it happened again when Liam’s dick was inside of him. Bailey kept telling himself it wasn’t his fault, of course it felt good, it didn’t make him any less of a man… he had cried harder at that thought. He wasn’t much of a man, the horrible hormone issue he had as a child had caused tits to grow on his chest! To anyone looking it appeared he had a pussy instead of a cock. No one would mistake him for a man right now and he hardly felt like one. He had to be Bailey Ann Best… at least if he was Bailey Ann Best it was more okay that this happened to him… she wasn’t real, it would be better if it just happened to her. Bailey shook his head, nothing would make what happened okay. No woman should have to go through what he had, yet… he thought it was more understandable then it happening to a man. A small blush came to his cheeks along with a wave of shame thinking about the pleasure he had felt. It was wrong… Bailey took a deep breath, holding it in as he felt his eyes water. Holding his breath wasn’t going to make him not cry, it just felt like something he could control at that moment, something he couldn’t say for his emotions.

Waking up the next day after a nightmare, Bailey looked over at the bedside clock. It was a little after four in the morning and he felt wide awake. Thoughts of everything danced around in his mind and he felt like he was going to break again. “Sugar! I can’t keep doing this!” Rolling over to his stomach Bailey clutched the pillow to his face and screamed into it. Doing so felt good enough that he did so again. Rolling back over, Bailey sat up in the bed, looking around the dark room that once belonged to Becky. It made him wonder if he should go talk to Aunt Megan again, it had helped him feel better before. Though he didn’t think he would be free of it till Liam paid for what he did. It still struck him as odd that he thought about Aunt Megan as a person to go to for comfort, when she for so long had been a problem for him. Sitting there in the dark a small giggle escaped his lips as he just realized she was the perfect person to speak to. She knew everything… She knew who he really was, she knew all of his misdeeds and had already set him on a course for absolution. It was a course he hated, but in the end things would be better. The conversation with Mommy the other night showed him how much she loved him and how she accepted him and Aunt Megan was going to take care of the law problem. All he had to do was hold out. He had made it this far, he could make it further.

Feeling an itch Bailey moved his hand down and used his long nails to sooth the feeling on his thigh. Looking down, he ran the pad of his thumb across his smooth skin. Only now remembering how even with everything going on he had taken the time to do his moisturizing routine, and had done it without thinking about it. Bailey tilted his head to the side, smiling as a giggle escaped his lips. “A good girl always looks her best.” Bailey whispered to himself, running his hand down his smooth leg, not feeling any patches of dry skin or hair. The idea that he had kept to his routine without even thinking about it gave him comfort. The act of shaving his legs like a girl still was not a pleasant thought, but the idea that he had followed the structure when he felt like his life was falling apart gave him hope that he could get through it. “One step at a time girl, just do like you do everyday and things will be fine… better than fine once Liam gets what he deserves.”

With a sigh, Bailey reached over to take his phone before getting back under the covers. It took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust to the light of the screen after turning it on, but there waiting for him were multiple messages that he had been ignoring. “Auggy, Candi, Mommy, an unknown number and then a message from Liam.” Bailey hovered his finger over the screen, feeling indecisive on what to click on. “Eny, meeny, miny, moe…” Bailey clicked on the message from Liam. “Eh.” Bailey clicked the back button before he could read anything, he just couldn’t bring himself to face any of that right now. He let go of the phone, letting it fall to his lap, squeezing his eyes closed tight for a few seconds. He could feel a migraine coming on, he wasn’t sure if it had already been there and he hadn’t noticed, or if it was the light of the screen that triggered it or the sudden flood of emotions.

Sitting there in the dark for a minute while he composed himself, Bailey picked the phone back up. This time clicking on the message from the woman he loved.

Mommy: Hey pumpkin, I am told you are not feeling well.

Mommy: Get some rest honey, I love you

Mommy: Looking forward to spending time with you and having that steak I promised you.

The emotional rollercoaster that Bailey was living through took a turn as Bailey wiped a single tear from his left eye with a knuckle. The smile that was often on his face increased in volume as he read the message. Even if it wasn't the middle of the night there was no way he could tell her what happened. If she knew what Liam had done she would never be able to see him as a man again. Bailey looked down at his chest… his breasts, it was already going to be difficult for her as it was, but at least these could be taken care of when he saw the doctor. Making a mental note to text her in the morning, Bailey clicked over to the message from Auggy to get it out of the way.

Auggy <3: SIs is out with my mom, wanted to see if you wanted to chat

Auggy <3: Or if you wanted to meet up

Auggy <3: Guess you are busy, I will take your lack of response as a “raincheck”

Auggy <3: Hey my sis said you are going to come work the intern program at Mega Corp!

Auggy <3: That is great news! I can show you where the best break rooms are lol

Auggy <3: And we get to see each other more :)

Auggy <3: I hope that is a good thing lol

Auggy <3: Guess you are still busy, ttyl

Auggy <3: Well I’m calling it a night, sweet dreams beautiful

Rolling his eyes at the wall of texts, Bailey clicked out of his messages, wanting nothing to do with him or men in general right now, let alone one who was being super needy. “You like don’t keep sending texts when a girl doesn’t respond.” Bailey said, giving advice that the young man couldn’t hear. Bailey almost clicked over to the texts from Candi, he hadn’t really spoken to her since she dropped him off. After Nana had taken her cane to both of their behinds, he was sure there was more than just a handful of messages waiting, so he clicked on the one from the unknown number.

Unknown: Reminder of your upcoming doctor visit at Nevada Family Health. Please arrive fifteen minutes before your appointment to fill out paperwork and remember to bring your insurance information.

The message gave Bailey a small dose of happiness. Not only had Aunt Megan set up a doctor's appointment for him like he had asked, but she had it sent to him instead of her controlling it. It wouldn’t be long before he could tell his doctor about the hormonal problem he had as a child and ask him to fix it now like they did before so the feminine assets could fade away. “Peaches, maybe he can like totally double up the medicine so they go away faster.” Bailey bit his bottom lip as he wiggled in the bed happily, but regretted it almost right away as his headache reminded him of its presence. He winced and pulled himself from his bed, walking over to the bedroom door on the balls of his feet, bringing the phone with him for a bit of light. Slowly he opened the door, afraid of waking up Aunt Megan. With caution he moved to the bathroom, he turned the light off immediately after turning it. “Sugar!” He said louder than he would have liked as the light assaulted his eyes.

After the outburst he held his breath for a few heartbeats, listening to see if he had woken up the sleeping woman. When he didn’t hear any footsteps or yelling he continued on with his quest, using the much dimmer light from his phone to look for something to help with the seemingly ever growing migraine. It didn’t take long for him to down the pills after he got a glass of water from the kitchen and an ice pack from the freezer before returning to bed. After getting comfortable under the covers, Bailey moved the ice pack from his forehead to the back of his neck as he looked back to his phone to see what his best friend had said.

Candi: Totally sorry about Nana, she can b totally old school

Candi: Getting like a real job at Mega Corp is kinda cool though right?!

Candi: I mean like we will get real paychecks, and we can totally brag about working 4 Mega Corp in FBLA when school starts up!

Candi: cause like we will totally b going 2 the same school once our parents get married and FBLA is like a great club to be part of and you get out of class early to go to meetings and like we sell cookies in the mornings 2 raise funds 4 trips.

Candi: I haven’t been on any of the trips yet, but they like go to New York or DC like every year and this year I am totally going to make sure my grades are good enough to go!

Candi: R U like listening 2 me?!

Candi: Bailey Ann Connors Best you respond 2 your older sister!

The messages kept going, but he was sure Candi had been giggling to herself when she slipped her own last name in the message. He recalled the FBLA, future business leaders… something. Bailey thought they were just a bunch of nerds, but if people like Candi were in their group it made him wish he gave the club a shot when he was growing up.

Candi: Hey

Candi: Hi

Candi: Hello?

Candi: Answer me!!!!!!

Candi: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Candi: R U like ok?

Candi: Im getting worried about u

Candi: If u dont answer I am totally coming over

Candi: Daddy says I cant tonight so I will come over in the am

Candi: R U mad at me?

Taking a deep breath, Bailey frowned a little at that last message that had come in just before midnight. He hadn’t felt like talking to anyone, let alone telling Candi what happened on the date and that she would definitely be asking more questions about everything, so he just didn’t respond to her at all when his phone buzzed. Now he felt sad and a bit like crap that he made the girl who was so kind feel like anything was her fault. He wished he could be more like her, so caring and open to people. Bailey was positive she would pay for a family’s groceries if their card was declined and she saw it, while his first thought would be he just wished the line would hurry up. The woman he had fallen in love with was an amazing person, but Candi was the nicest person he had ever met. A hint of an idea that he might be making her sad was enough for him to text her back right then, middle of the night or not.

Bailey: I could like never b mad at u!

Bailey: Well not 4 long

Bailey: U do get bossy and cheat at cards

The light from the phone illuminated Bailey’s face, while no one was looking in on him in bed, if someone had they would see a big smile on his face as he thought about calling Candi out for cheating at cards when they played with Nana.

Bailey: Sorry I have like not been feeling good

Bailey: I got like a big headache and umm didnt have a good date

Bailey: I wont b seeing Liam again

Looking through all the messages, the medicine and icepack driving back the worst of the migraine, Bailey once again started to feel sleepy. All the adrenaline from the nightmare having run its course, he slid down the pillow and started to close his eyes when he felt his phone vibrating. Not considering that sending six text messages in a row might catch the sleeping Candi’s attention.

Candi: SHE LIVES!!!!!

Candi: OMG I was so worried!

Candi: U promise u r not mad at me!?

Bailey: I totally promise and like u should be sleeping

Candi: Im like soooo sorry about Liam guess that just leaves your Auggy

Bailey: eh no… like not now or ever I am totally done with boys

Smirking to himself Bailey congratulated himself, Aunt Megan said she wasn’t going to make him do anything like that ever again and that meant freedom. Then the smile on his face faltered as he thought of Miss April and her demand of not telling her brother no.

Candi: Shut up! Like from the girl that told me how healthy cum is 2 eat is just done with men?!

Bailey: Well…

Candi: Yeah like I didnt think so

Candi: Liam was just some bad boy fling I know how u feel about Auggy <3

Bailey: I like do not love him!

Candi: Sure… I bet he loves u and the 2 of u like make the cutest couple!

Bailey: And Liam was like not a fling! Flings mean sex and we like well just forget it

Candi: OMG did the 2 of u hook up!?

Candi: WAIT! U said u r not going to see him again. Was it bad?

Bailey: Candi… please

Candi: OMG my brain isnt thinking, u said you r like a virgin and…

Candi: oh no, I am so sorry! I should have just shut up.

Candi: no wonder you are in the dumps I wish I could just hug you!

Candi: tomorrow I am going to just make it the best day 4 u

Bailey: thanks but like can we not talk about this?

Candi: The only thing we r going to talk about tomorrow is shopping, u need some retail therapy 2 help u feel better.

Bailey: Candi I like dont need to go shopping

Candi: Yea but u totally want 2, so I will be over tomorrow 2 pick you up!

Bailey pursed his lips together, the conversation had taken a bad turn. He could practically feel the energy coming off Candi through his phone, an odd thing when he considered how groggy and grumpy she was when she was woken up in the middle of night.

Bailey: Thank u 4 like being there 4 me

Candi: Always! That is what family does!

Candi: Oh and like let me know what u r going 2 wear tomorrow!

Bailey: If I say yes will u let me go 2 sleep?

Candi: Im not the 1 sending texts at 4 30 in the morning

Bailey: U totally R!

Candi: Only cause u started it!

Bailey: Im going back 2 bed

Candi: What if I say no?

Bailey: Shhhh sleepy

Candi: Thank u 4r txting me

Bailey: sleep talk when the sun is up

Candi: K

Bailey: I mean like hours after the sun is up, not like when it first comes up

Candi: :-p