Remorse

You’re still staring at the door when Sarah comes back, bringing Nadia and Kaeli with her. You feel the faerie’s eyes on you as she approaches, sitting down beside you, much like Ferra. Sarah and Kaeli sit nearby as well. The five of you keep a quiet vigil for some time.

Finally, Nadia turns to you, her blue eyes seemingly searching for something in your face.

“I can feel your pain. Your emotions. This isn’t your fault, Nicholas.”

You shake your head, not looking away from the door. “It’s nice of you to say that. But it is. I saved Alex, what seems like forever ago. She bonded herself to me. Willingly. Up to then, it was Ferra and I.”

You glance at Ferra, who squeezes your hand. “Ferra was created for me. Yes, we fell in love, but…Alex was…IS the first to come to me on her own decision. And now she’s in there, maybe dying, because of a decision I made.”

You look at Nadia. “Don’t you dare tell me not to feel guilty. I did this to her.”

Nadia shakes her head. “No. I understand your feelings. But as you said, Alex has free will. You didn’t force her to do anything. And you certainly didn’t stab her. She knew the risk, and took it willingly, for you. We all would do the same.”

She is quiet for a moment, then continues. “It was a vile trap. If you let them do this to you, they’ve won already. We all love you, master. We will do ANYTHING to support you. Alex is no different. If there is blame, it’s not on you.”

You stare at Nadia for a moment, and then look away, sighing. “I understand. My head knows what you’re saying makes sense. But my heart can’t accept it right now.”

She leans against you. “I know. Just know that we’re here for you. All of us.”

You look over at Sarah and Kaeli, and they nod solemnly. Ferra squeezes your hand again. “We follow you out of love, master. We would all give everything to keep you safe. Alex feels the same.”

You can count me in too. Compulsion or no, I want to help. I…care about you. And them.

You look back to the door, and nod. Everyone lapses into silence again, and time seems to slow to a crawl. After what seems like an eternity, but is actually closer to an hour, the door opens. Cassie and Melora slip out, closing it again behind them. Both of them look exhausted. Cassie sighs as she crouches down in front of you.

“I did everything I can. The wound is closed, and the shards of the blade are out. She’s alive, but barely.”

Melora nods, still looking worried. “She’s not showing any signs of recovery. Samus says he needs to purge the corrupt magic that is attacking her.”

She wrings her hands nervously. “I…I can’t see what will happen. I couldn’t even see what was happening while you were gone. My sight isn’t able to penetrate powers of this level.”

You nod. “It’s fine. I know you’re doing all you can, Melora.”

She shakes her head, but doesn’t say anything more. You can tell it’s preying on her mind, but you can’t find words of comfort right now.

You sigh. “Did Samus say how long this would take?”

Both Melora and Cassie shake their heads. You shrug. “You should go rest. All of you. I appreciate your support, but I can do this alone.”

Ferra shakes her head. “I will not leave you, master.”

You sigh. “Fine. But the rest of you, please.”

Slowly, they get up and head out the door. Kaeli pauses, turning back. “The faerie is wise. Think on her words, Nicholas. And do not despair. Samus is powerful, and Alex is strong. She will come back to you.”

Without waiting for a response, Kaeli follows the others out. Ferra snuggles closer, laying her head on your shoulder. Somehow, her silent presence is comforting.