Something Else Happens Today

The thought of doing anything but collapse in a comfy chair results in an uncomfortable objection from my sore legs. They’re not as dead as I would have expected, but they still want rest. I can’t do much app-wise with no gems and creaking limbs anyways. Plus, some alone time with an anime sounds nice right about now. So, I hobble my way back to my apartment.

The stairs are just as unforgiving as they were yesterday, but I manage to haul myself up to my floor with only a little extra effort. Entering my apartment, I throw my shoes off and sluggishly wander inside. Stopping by my little kitchen to grab a soda, I think I’ve earned it, still not going to tell Sam though. I pop the lid off and take a swig, nod to the unfamiliar succubus, and make my way to my room. Collapsing in my desk chair as soon as I’m within reach, I lean back, and shut my eyes.

……………………….

Yes, I realize there’s a succubus in my living room, I’m hoping politely ignoring will make her go away. I crack open one eye to check and see if it worked.

Aaaaaaaaaaand she’s staring at me from about 4 inches away.

“You’re not gonna make out with me too, are you?” I ask, too tired to respond with any fright or shock. I also might be getting numb to all the craziness.

The succubus doesn’t respond immediately, and I get a more thorough look at her. She’s obviously not Jane. Nearly nothing about her is the same. This one’s proportions are actually within the realm of physically possible. Noticeable, but rather tame curves. Each breast looks as though they’d fit nicely within one’s grasp. And of course, she’s completely naked. Deep purple skin, dark blue hair cut in a bob that glows an eerie sea green at the ends, and cyan tattoos glowing across her entire body in the creepy ritualistic design like that of Janes’. She’s also kind of short. 5’4” at most, but it’s hard to tell since she’s floating in the air. Her legs bent in as she leans almost horizontal to stare down at me, arms under her chin in thought, face intense. I look around her and notice tiny little bat looking wings, that in no way could keep her aloft on their own, flapping slowly from her back as her demon like tail swishes slowly back and forth. Like that of a cat stalking its’ prey. I look back to her face and notice her kind of nerdy thick rimmed glasses framing pitch-black eyes as she continues to stare at me.

I wait patiently. I’ll sass a demon any day, but I’d still rather not provoke one. This one differs from Jane, other than appearance. Her aura, or whatever they call it, is a whole other animal. When Jane’s near me, a wave of powerful **** lust is pounded into me regardless of my feelings on the matter. Like a bright spotlight shining right at me when I’m without sunglasses. This one, however, is like a laser dot from a high caliber rifle being trained on me. The lust aura is still there as my slowly growing uncomfortableness in my pants attests too, but much less intense. More subtle, refined, like it’s only being cast under her strict terms but still making you aware of its presence. That doesn’t make it any less dangerous though, quite the opposite actually. When comparing the two, this one gives the impression she wields her aura like a well-trained weapon, while Jane throws hers’ out all willy nilly.

After a few moments more, she gives a short irritated grunt before waving her hand to conjure what looks eerily like a PKE meter out of thin air. If you don’t know what that is, you don’t know who to call. She points the device at me, and it starts making a few different dinging sounds as a few lights blink. It’s arms slowly flapping.

“Wouldn’t have pegged a succubus to be a fan of Ghostbusters.” I say, my tired brain unable to stop the snark from flowing.

“Bill Murry is a treasure and should be treated as such.” She says, finally speaking for the first time. Her voice much deeper, more elegant than Janes’.

I nod in acknowledgement and quietly wait as she continues to do whatever she’s doing. I don’t feel anything weird happening, so I see no reason to object to the odd situation I find myself in just yet. She conjures three other sci-fi looking gadgets to scan me with or something before finally huffing in frustration. Crossing her arms, she says,

“If you are hiding your abilities in some way, know that I am not amused.”

“My what now?” I respond with a smirk, finding her annoyance kind of funny.

“You know of what I speak! The perplexing machinations you bring to bear upon my precious program! Without a single spell component, device of your own, or a moments concentration, you systematically barrage every conceivable weak link in my creation without mercy until there is not but dust! And yet, not a single one of my sophisticated tools designed specifically to detect and decipher any and all types of power could get a single reading from you! Explain yourself!” She demands.

“What do you mean explain myself?! I don’t have any powers! Technology just doesn’t like me!” I say, a little too defensively.

“Teller of untruth! No normal mortal could unravel my exceptional creation as consistently and easily as you have! I must know how!”

“I don’t know what to tell you lady! I-“

“Maddy.” She interrupts.

“… Maddie. Right. I-“

“No! Maddy! With a Y, you philistine!” She interrupts again.

“Sorry, Maddy, I… Wait… Did you just-? Never mind. I swear I don’t have any powers that I know of. I always just chalked it up to concentrated bad luck. I’m sorry I’ve been breaking your app, I-“

“Do not dare to apologize!” She interrupts yet again. I swear, the gall of this demon.

“… But weren’t you just berating me about unravelling all the weak links in your app, or however you put it?” I ask, genuinely confused.

“Berating on how, you did it. You are single handedly the greatest beta tester in existence. Any program that can survive the overwhelming stress you **** upon a system without flinching will be invincible! Able to withstand even the harshest of trials! I swear, I will defeat you and your technology destroying ways by making the most resilient sexy phone program to ever grace this world or the next!” She says, her voice raising in volume and epicness as she speaks with her fist shaking in defiance.

“…… Right. Good luck with that. I guess. I still don’t have any powers.” I say, dryly.

“Mark my words! Tyler of the Hawkinses!” She spits as she points her finger at me with overexaggerated drama, “I will discover your secret in time! And will use that knowledge to utterly destroy you with how infallible my creation is! Just you wait! Also look forward to an update upon the morrow. It would have been released sooner had you not been so formidable an opponent. FAREWELL!!” She says as she strikes a dramatic pose.

A green puff of smoke explodes where she was floating, making me shut my eyes and cough as I attempt to wave it away. A moment later I hear my window open and shut in rapid succession.

Did she seriously just ninja exit out my window? Can’t she just, teleport, or whatever it is that Jane did? God Maddy is weird… I kind of like her. Don’t judge me.

I take another swig of my soda once the smoke clears. Just what have I gotten myself into? Uncle George was right. Although I don’t know where the kangaroos wielding nunchucks come into play. I’m not even in Australia. Uncle George was weird. Regardless, I won’t be solving any problems or moral dilemmas today. Time for some anime……

Right after I restart my computer. Stupid blue screen…