A Step Forward

It was only eight-thirty when we got to my place. I was concerned. Emma hadn’t said anything the entire drive. She hadn’t even looked at me. What I wouldn’t give to have a peek inside her mind right now. Was it something I said? It seemed like she was having a fun time teasing me. Why had she suddenly stopped like that?

She led the way, going straight to the basement. I followed after her, silent as I waited for her to open up.

“I don’t want to have sex,” she said suddenly. She had her back to me, arms crossed over the front of her.

“I wasn’t planning—”

She turned to face me, cutting me off. “I don’t want you to think I’m denying you because I get pleasure from it.”

“Do you?”

There was a slight hesitation. I think she was confirming it for herself. “No.”

“Okay. I don’t mind.” Much. It was a bit of a bitch being in my position, but she had warned me and I went for it anyway. I moved a few steps closer but stopped when it was clear she wasn’t in the mood to be held. “I said I would wait, and that’s what I’m doing.”

“I need a bit more time to process some things.” She still wasn’t meeting my gaze. “If you want to have sex, I understand. I won’t stop you. I’ll even do my best to…”

“Pretend?” She nodded.

“I wish I wasn’t so fucked up. I know I’m not being fair or—”

“It’s fine, Emma. If I have to wait a bit longer, so be it. You are worth the wait.”

“No one is worth this much trouble.”

I lifted her chin. “You are.”

The kiss was sweet and light.

“Sorry,” she said after the kiss ended.

“You are who you are. And you are the girl who has my heart.”

She gave me a weak smile, finally looking at me of her own will. “Want it back?”

My hands ran along her sides. “Hold onto it a bit longer, okay?”

She nodded, still struggling with the smile. “I kinda killed the mood, didn’t I?”

“I had a nice time tonight.”

“I did too. Really. It was… nice.” She fidgeted. “Isaac, can we… try something?”

“Am I going to regret this?” I asked playfully.

“Hopefully not?”

I took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself. “Okay then. What did you have in mind?”

She took me back to my room. An interesting start. Standing by my computer, she turned and faced me. “Can you promise me something?” I nodded. “If you sense we are getting too close to something, tell me?”

“Um… Okay.”

“I’m serious, Isaac. I don’t want a repeat of last time. Maybe… yellow. Say yellow if you feel something is wrong. It won’t stop what’s going on, but at least I can be mindful of controlling where we are going.”

“Now you have me terrifyingly excited.”

She was finally smiling again. “Is that a good thing?”

“No idea. So! What twisted pleasures are you going to subject me to tonight?”

“Strip.”

A few blinks and seconds passed. “Seriously?” She nodded. Shrugging, I moved to do what she told me. She seemed surprised I did so without much prodding. “Be warned, once you see the whole package, it tends to drop panties.”

She snorted, rolling her eyes. With the last of my clothes on the floor, I stood proudly before her. I say proudly, but I was doing my best to project the mad confidence she had. “Well?” I asked as her eyes ran over me. “Have an insatiable urge to toss me on the bed and have your way with me?”

“Sit in the chair, Isaac,” she said with a giggle.

“Couldn’t even have warmed it up for me?” I pouted as I sat in the chilled leather.

I noticed she had grown serious. “Remember your promise?”

I nodded.

Turning away from me, she navigated through my computer. I began to have an inkling of what was coming when she pulled up my Stash.

“I’m not going to tease you or anything like that,” she said as she opened a folder. It was the one where I stored her videos.

“This a quest or something?”

She turned to face me. “No quest. This isn’t a game anymore, Isaac. Maybe later, when we are more comfortable with things. For now, I want to understand. About us. Our relationship.”

“Okay.”

She was nervous. That terrified me more than anything. What the hell did she have planned?

My eyes widened as she knelt in front of me. She spread my legs, moving between them. Holy shit. Was she going to—

“I’m not using my mouth,” she said, beating the thought. She pulled her hair back, looking up at me. “Isaac, I need you to play a video. One of the longer ones. Preferably one where…” She took a breath. “One where you can clearly see me with the guy.”

“O-okay.” I reached over. It was a bit of a stretch with her between me and the computer. I picked one of the new ones she had sent me. It was from the week when Grant had ‘claimed’ her. I opened it, I had to scoot forward to get to the speakers to turn them up. Within seconds, I heard the familiar sounds of Emma’s pants fill the room. Then a moan. Glancing at the screen, I saw a top-down of her. Her knees were in the shot, Grant’s bulky form barely in frame as he held the camera.

My throat tightened at the sight of his massive member sliding in and out of her.

“What are you looking at?” she whispered.

My volume matched hers. “His cock.”

I jerked as I felt a pair of warm hands against me. Eyes wide, I found Emma’s hands there. “Look at the screen, not me.”

A shiver ran down me. Jesus Fucking Christ. Holy Mary. This wasn’t a brush or a tease. Her hands were there. I felt her fingers run across the sensitive skin as she applied a light pressure.

“What’s his cock doing?” she asked.

“W-what?” It was hard to focus when my attention was on her hands.

“Focus, Isaac. What is his cock doing?”

“It’s… It’s going in and out of you.”

“Out of where?”

“P-pussy.” I was harder than I’d ever been, her hands running along my shaft. Amazing. Incredible. So goddamn good. “His cock is going in and out of your pussy.”

“So he’s fucking me.”

A quiver ran through me. “Y-yes.”

“Am… am I enjoying it?”

My eyes lifted away from the action to see Emma. Not the Emma here, the sweet and wonderful Emma who was jacking me off. This was a wild Emma, overtaken with pleasure. Her moans hit me all at once, blocked out by my attention on Emma’s soft words. Was she enjoying it? She was loving it. The gasps. The moans. The intensity that she stared at the camera.

“Yes,” I gasped.

“How do you know?”

“M-moans.”

“I’m moaning?” I nodded. “What else?”

“You are breathing hard.”

“And?”

“The look on your face.” My voice was a whimper. Her hands never increased in pace, keeping the same steady up and down she had from the beginning, but it didn’t matter. The pleasure was insane. Nothing before had ever come this close. “Emma,” I gasped. “Emma… You look so happy.”

She was silent for a few beats. The sound of Grant’s grunts and Emma’s moans hitting me again and again as she continued her loving hands on my cock.

“Do you know why I’m so happy?”

Hurt. I felt it there inside me. It wasn’t like before though. This was just the normal kind that came with the territory of being around Emma. It was a small hurt inside my chest. I embraced it. Allowing it to flow through me as it balanced the pleasure I was feeling.

I stared into the eyes of the Emma on screen. The bliss on her face as she cried out in pleasure. The way the **** of Grant’s thrusts caused her body to move. The way her eyes lit up with each powerful movement. She had succumbed to the pleasure, letting it overwhelm her.

Beautiful.

“Because he’s fucking you.”

“No,” she whispered. It was a different tone than she usually used. Enough to pull my eyes from the screen. I met her blue eyes as she continued to run her hands over my shaft. “Because you are watching.” The video was forgotten, her moans and grunts washing over me. Noise, heard but ignored. All I could do was stare at her. Looking into those wonderful eyes of hers.

“Do you like watching me?”

Shit. I was getting close. This was an intensity like I’d never experienced. She wasn’t even going that fast or holding me tightly, yet the pressure felt like a god damn super volcano getting ready to pop.

I didn’t answer. I was struggling to keep myself from blowing up.

“Do you like watching other men pleasure me?”

It wasn’t fair. Damn her and that innocent look. She wasn’t allowed to use that! How could she ask that so sweetly? She told me she wasn’t going to tease me, yet this felt so much worse. It clawed at a core part of me. The part of a human that would throw themselves into danger to protect their child. When she teased me, I felt like I could fight back. Resist through emotional responses like anger, or disgust.

This though? There was no malice there. No intent to cause hurt. A question. A simple question that lit up my world.

I answered as I came. She seemed to expect it, a wad of tissues quickly replacing her hand as my orgasm rocked my body. It was powerful, causing my legs to jerk as I pumped my cum into the waiting tissues. I even pushed my hips forward slightly. The true pleasure came from the hand she still had wrapped around my shaft. With a bit more pressure now, she continued to move it up and down—as if she were trying to milk every drop from me.

“Emma,” I sobbed, eyes screwed shut. “Emma…”

Guilt rocked me as my body enjoyed the rush of release. I didn’t know why I felt guilty. No. I did know. I was using her. Using the sight of her to experience pleasure myself. The Emma kneeling before me wasn’t getting anything from this, at least, not at the level as me. This was all me. For me.

Panting heavily, I was vaguely aware of the noise coming from the computer. In the darkness, I listened to her happy moans. The bliss-filled squeals of pleasure over top the deep grunts of another man.

The sounds cut off. Opening my eyes, I found Emma closing the video. She had already disposed of the wad of tissues. Grabbing a few more, she silently cleaned me up. Her eyes remained on her work, a nonchalant expression on her face. Tossing those, she finally looked at me.

“Did you enjoy that?” There was a pensive look in her eye as she waited for my answer.

Letting out my breath, I ran my hand through my hair, sagging in my chair. “That was…” It took me a few breaths to find the word. “Incredible.”

She managed a thin smile as she stood. “Good. Get dressed.”

Without anything else, she left me alone in my room. I was a bit shocked by her coldness. After dressing, I found her sitting on the couch. She glanced at me as I approached. Patting her lap, she said nothing else. It took a moment for me to figure out what she wanted. Eventually, I found myself lying on the couch with my head in her lap. She still wasn’t saying anything, but something was calming about the moment. Her hand rested against my chest, the other holding her phone as she scrolled through it.

I wasn’t bothered by the silence or her attention being elsewhere. Losing myself in her closeness, I let myself rest. After the intensity I’d experienced a moment ago, this was exactly what I needed.

I must have drifted off. When I woke, she was still on her phone. Seeing me looking up at her, she lowered her phone. “Feeling better?”

“Never better,” I said with a sleepy yawn. “This is nice.”

“I’m glad.”

I felt her hand gently scratch my chest. “You know my feelings on it, but I wasn’t in the mindset to ask if you enjoyed it.”

“I did,” she answered softly.

“Yeah?” She nodded. “Thanks for that. I know I said I’d wait, and I still will, but I’ll admit it was a bit frustrating at times.”

“Sorry you have to put up with my selfishness.”

I shifted my head to a more comfortable position. “I feel good. I understand you a bit more and we took an important step forward.”

She smiled.

“I’m curious though. Why didn’t you want to give me a blowjob?”

A light blush heated her cheeks. “I wanted to watch you. Hard to focus on your face when I have your dick in my mouth. That and I thought you wouldn’t last that long.”

I chuckled. “Probably right. It was already pretty intense as it was.”

She was silent for a moment. “Mind if I ask you a question?”

Her other hand was lightly running through my hair now. It felt nice having her fingers run over my head. “Sure.”

“Why do you like watching me with other guys?”

“Oof. What a question that is.”

“If you don’t want to answer, that’s okay.”

“No, I’ll answer. It’s not something I’ve really thought about—at least not in the way to put into words.”

She let me think as I gathered all my thoughts and emotions and put them in a pile to sort out.

“It’s a weird feeling to be honest. When I see you like that, it drives me crazy. You are this beautiful girl, but seeing you in the middle of that… I don’t know. It makes you like, twice as hot. The way your face lights up with pleasure. You are usually so well put together, seeing you a disheveled mess, it hits something in me. A primal sort of feeling.”

“Aren’t you jealous?”

“Fuck yeah. So much it hurts. The girl I like is getting railed by another guy—and she’s enjoying it. I can’t even tell you how much that hurts me.”

“Then why?”

I felt a bit embarrassed by the open candor we were having, but I could see she was interested in knowing. “I think I changed in this. At first, it was simply the beauty of it. I don’t think I can stress how amazing you look. You were this out-of-reach beauty and I was just using you for pleasure. It wasn’t exactly healthy, which is why the whole thing was a mess.”

“Now?”

“I think there is a power element there. Well, maybe not power, but a confidence thing.”

“Me being with other guys… makes you confident?”

“Sounds ass-backward, right?” She nodded, smiling as she waited for me to explain. “I guess most guys focus on the initial hit. The jealousy and anger. I can understand that. It’s devastating. The girl you like is being intimate with another guy. We are wired and socialized to not accept that.” I chuckled. “That part of me must be busted. I feel it, sure, but it’s not this insurmountable barrier.”

I closed my eyes, mostly because it was hard to talk so openly about this with her staring down at me. “But there is something else there, beyond the jealousy and anger.” I paused for a moment, wondering how best to explain it. Opening my eyes, I looked up at her. “Out of all the guys you’ve been with recently, who is your favorite?”

“Favorite?”

I nodded. “First that comes to your mind. Best sex.”

She thought for a moment. “I would normally say Ryan, but Grant exceeded my expectations recently.”

“Oh?”

She grinned. “Beyond his physical capabilities, he found a way to spice things up.”

When I realized she wasn’t going to elaborate, I prodded her. “Going to tell me what that ‘spice’ is?”

“Wasn’t planning to.” I stared at her. “It’s not that I want to keep secrets from you. I’ll tell you if you want to know, but I don’t think you’ll like it.”

“Well now you have to tell me.”

She sighed. “You know he has a thing about other guys’ girlfriends, right?” I nodded. “Well, we do some dirty talk around that. Makes me say stuff like how much bigger he is. How much better sex is. We roleplay with me as the cheating girlfriend there without her boyfriend knowing, that sort of thing.” She hesitated. “Is that okay?”

I shrugged. “So long as you don’t do it when I’m there or make a video or something with it, sure.”

“So you going to tell me how Grant plays into this?”

“Okay, so you’ve been having amazing sex with Grant, right?” She nodded. “So why aren’t you having sex with him right now?”

She frowned. “Because I’m with you?”

“Right. Why?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why are you with me right now?”

“You’re my boyfriend.”

“Yeah, but we aren’t even having sex. There isn’t really any reason for you to be here. As you said, you can get everything you need from friends, right? So why bother spending all this time with me when you could be with any other guy with the added benefit of great sex.” She was thinking, then I saw the understanding in her eyes as she looked at me. “Starting to get it? The confidence thing. You are a stunning woman and can go out and have mind-blowing sex with any number of equally stunning guys. But here you are, with me. Why? Because you want to be. Doesn’t matter how amazing the sex with other people is, you’ll always come back to me.

“You are mine. Only mine. It’s a hell of a **** having that feeling. That other guys, more attractive guys, more skilled guys, guys who rock your world in ways I never can, they will never be me. They can never have you as I can.” I stared into her eyes. “This is why this relationship means so much to me. Why moments like this here are so important. I can enjoy the beautiful moments of my girl getting her world rocked by another guy because I have absolute confidence that they have nothing on me. The better the guy is, the better it is for me. But in the end, I need you to be mine.”

I relaxed, folding my hands over my stomach as I enjoyed the feeling of her legs against my head. “Not saying that it’s the same for everyone, but that’s how it works for me as I understand it right now.”

“Pervert.”

I opened my eyes. She was finally smiling in a way that radiated warmth. It was easy to forget how much I missed that.

“Not just any pervert. I’m your pervert.”

She giggled. “I guess that makes me your slut?”

Hearing her say that tickled something inside me. Not sure if it was a good or bad thing. A part of me was surprised to hear her call herself that, but now that she said it, I decided to lean into it.

“The best slut a pervert could ask for.”