Incredibly honestly, except for one detail

Vlad was not a pleasant person to look at on a good day. Acne scars covered his face with pits. His hair was permanently greasy. His eyes were almost a good feature, so green they might have been brighter than Opal's, but he always had an intense stare that made his pupils look like tiny green dots in empty white voids.

His stare was a million times worse when he had a knife to your throat.

"Vlad! It's all for the con! I know I've asked for more money, but you're going to get more money in the end!"

I would honestly have been less scared if Vlad were the type to yell and scream. Instead, he calmly said, "You gave me a budget for this weekend. You said the girl was completely on the hook and there would be no surprises. When a con man starts shaving a little extra off the top, I start to think that maybe he's about to take everything and run. Maybe it's better to cut my losses."

I've never heard anyone refer to my throat as "losses" before. I desperately wished there was a way I could convince Vlad to move back and let me have a chance to talk my way out of this.

Oh yeah, there was. That was exactly the function of the "Parley" perk that I'd passed on because it looked useless.

"Vlad, you know I'd never do anything behind your back! I'm the one who told you that Jimmy was stealing from you, remember?"

"I remember that someone was stealing my money," said Vlad. He ground his knee into my chest. "You pointed the finger at Jimmy, and I figured that whether it was you or him, killing him would make my policy on theft clear. Now I'm thinking maybe it was you after all."

It was definitely Jimmy. With Vlad, my instincts have always been reversed. I'll lie to anyone else easier than talk to them about the weather, but with Vlad the part of my brain that is responsible for creativity just locks up. I've never lied to Vlad, not even once.

"Vlad, I can explain the extra expenses! I'm not trying to scam you, I found a way to get extra leverage on these assholes!"

"Oh, is that how you managed to convince Rueben Astor that he didn't need you to sign a prenup before marrying his only daughter?"

"Yes! That's why I took him to the shooting range! I made him think I was very dangerous and he shouldn't challenge me!"

Vlad pulled the knife away from my throat. He put it in front of my face so I could see the blood staining the edge. It was so sharp, I hadn't even felt it slice through my skin. He put it back against my throat. "Are you forgetting that I'm the one who did all the research for your little scam? I know that there's no way Rueben Astor, the legendary shark, would ever be intimidated by a minnow like you. I'll give you one more chance to explain what's going on."

If I told him I had a magic phone app that made me the ultimate con man, he'd gut me instantly. I had to quickly tell him something that he'd actually believe.

"Vlad, I have something. I really do! We're both going to be insanely rich!"

The moment I said it, I could feel the BS cost in my head. This was going to cost me over 80 BS. I had 7. I instantly recognized my mistake. I had always intended to pay Vlad, I'd even planned to pay him way more than we'd originally agreed. Insanely rich? No, I'd only pictured myself getting insanely rich.

It was a tiny lie, barely an exaggeration. However, Vlad didn't trust con men at all, driving up the cost of any lie I wanted to tell him. If this fallacy went through, not only would I be left with 0, but he would gain a resistance and it would become literally impossible to convince him that I wasn't trying to cheat him.

Say the word "takeback" if you'd like to avoid overcharging your BS.

Those words appeared in my head, and it was like someone was tossing me a rope after I'd fallen out of a plane. I screamed, "Takeback!"

Instead of shoving the knife into my throat, Vlad calmly said, "I'll give you one more chance to explain what's going on." He said it as if I hadn't just yelled nonsense at him, as if I hadn't said something he'd never believe, and as if he hadn't just said those exact words. The perk had worked, he didn't remember my attempt to lie to him. I had a second chance.

"****," I said weakly.

"****?" asked Vlad.

"I can show you the video."

Vlad tilted his head to the side the way he does when he's thinking. Then he pulled the knife away, got off my chest, and pulled me to my feet. "Show me the video."

I took a moment to catch my breath, then I pulled out my burner phone. I pulled up the video I'd made of me and Opal.

"Oh, you managed to fuck the Hudson girl," he said after he got a good look at her face. "Not surprising. She's a classic case of what happens when a father sets a bad example. I almost assigned you to her instead of Nicole Astor. What does this prove?"

"Just another moment, Vlad. We're almost to the good part."

From the video Opal said, "I slept with Xavier, too! Please don't tell Kennedy!"

Vlad's eternally bloodshot eyes widened even more than usual.

"And I also slept with Nicole's dad!"

Vlad chuckled, then put his knife in a sheath hidden inside his jacket. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay, you used this video to get some leverage on Mr. Astor. Then you took him onto the shooting range and convinced him that you're a big, tough mobster type who can destroy his life."

"Something like that."

"This is a dumb plan. He's not the type to get intimidated for long. Once he's off this island and surrounded by security guards, he'll start fighting back."

"That's after the wedding," I said. "It will be much, much too late after the wedding."

This was completely true, but not for any reason I could explain to Vlad. Hopefully he'd believe that I was talking about being married to Nicole without a prenup.

"Why didn't you tell me what you were doing?"

"I'm sorry, Vlad. I really am! I've just kinda been on a massive roll this week. It's really hard to explain, but this isn't the only way I've managed to go above and beyond convincing these rich idiots to swallow my bullshit. It's really, really been going well, and I didn't know how to explain it. But I can show you! And I can show you in a way that I absolutely guarantee you'll enjoy!"

He looked at me for a disturbingly long time before he said anything. "How?"

I smiled. "How would you like to come to my bachelor party?"

He smiled back. Thank god.