So doubts crawl in

"Sooooo… Errm… Sorry… about that."

You and Trev had been idly meandering away from the bus shelter in absolute silence since the rain had stopped. Everything glistened with the look of a spring day not dampened, but refreshed by that sudden downpour. However, there was also a moistened patch of your dress sticking against your belly which had clearly caused some awkwardness. Not that you minded the slightly-grimy feeling at all.

"I get a bit… carried away… sometimes… I hope that won't make things… weird, between us? I won't do something like that again, next time... I promise!"

Your self-doubts over your own perverse inclinations as viewed by the rest of the 'normal' world were threatening to overwhelm you with every second your handsome companion didn’t say anything. You were a nasty, slutty creep of a boy wearing an ill-fitting dress, with a lump of cold metal shoved up your ass and some else's jizz all over you. It was ridiculous to think you were fooling anyone. That you could ever hope to fit in in this nice, quiet, gentile neighbourhood.

"Next time…?" Offered Trev, still sounding lost and far away. You could barely stand to glance at his shell-shocked face. He was surely just finding some way to extricate himself from this situation and never have to see you again.

"I-i'll wash your hoody at home and bring it to the shop… Then I'll just go somewhere else for my groceries… a-and not bother you again."

You felt a strong hand upon your shoulder. A grip you feared could easily pick you up and toss you about… Like bullies had occasionally done in high school past. It span you around to see…

A beaming grin, wider than any you had encountered before. "T-that was amazing! That was the hottest thing that's ever happened to me! Sod the bloody hoody, you can keep it! Are you sure your boyfriend doesn't mind you doing stuff like that?! We can meet up again?!"

A huge shudder of relief rose through you. All the dark clouds of self-loathing dissipating back to the past, where they belonged.

"O-of course, if you want to… Ben let's me see as many other guys or gals as I want!” You dug your toe into the ground, twisting a knee back and forth. So utterly glad that all your fears had just been silliness. “It was pretty hot for me, as well… I-I’m actually not sure I’d be able to keep that promise…”

The young man burst forward and shoved his tongue back down your throat, the only logical way to cut through such admissions. You felt his strong arms around you and actually were lifted off the floor again, just a little. The connotations of which for future meet ups were not lost on your already overwhelmed little heart. You were going to have to get yourself back home soon before this all got too much, too fast.

Trev had to get to work for the late shift anyway… so you walked yourself back home. Glowing in the newly-emerged sunshine and surreptitiously rubbing that small patch of dampness against your own skin. Sometimes it was so good to feel like a skanky, little whorelet when no-one around you knew. A secret, dirty joy that was yours and yours alone.