Party Member Get!

Sometime later, John and Liam were seated at opposite corners from each other, facing their respective walls. Aside from assuring Liam's dad that everything was alright after he came to check on all of the screaming, neither of them had said a word in several minutes.

"So," Liam began.

"It never happened," John finished.

"It never happened," Liam agreed.

"What never happened?" John asked.

"It," Liam said.

"Exactly," John said.

A few more moments passed in overwhelming anxiety.

"If you hadn't pulled down your damn-" John started, wincing.

"It never happened," Liam cut John off, reproachful.

"It never happened," John replied.

Another beat of silence passed.

"It never happened," they repeated, in unison.

It was a while yet before either of them could commit to their decree enough to put it out of their minds. John incessantly rubbed the spot on his face where Liam's precum had landed, checking and rechecking to make sure it was gone, even after scrubbing it with an antiseptic wipe from the Suffield's medicine cabinet. His rational brain acknowledged that it was, at least in part, his fault, but he had no intention of accepting that as fact. Sure, he could have warned Liam about the feeling or spread out the spells, and, yes, the prostate cast was unnecessary, but what was all of that in the face of Liam dropping his drawers right then and there?

Nothing. As far as I'm concerned, I'm innocent in this. It's just more of my bad luck.

Shifting the blame made the experience easier to swallow. Eased along with a healthy serving of denial, John could file it away and never look at it again. Eventually, he was able to pick the conversation up where they had left off.

"We were talking magic," he said, drawing Liam from whatever introspection he was going through. "I think we can agree we both have it and that I know what I'm talking about now?"

"Yeah, we can," said Liam. His voice had lost it's confident edge, but something inside John told him that it wasn't just because of the event that never happened.

"The weird thing is that we both got it on the same day," John said. "From what I've learned, that means we're something called Late Bloomers, mages who get their magic, well, late. Supposedly we're pretty rare."

"We don't know if that's true," Liam countered, suddenly focused. John found it a little surprising, given the atmosphere of their conversation so far, but Liam had a tendency to get analytic when he needed to figure something out. "I could have been able to do this my entire life but only realized how to do it now. Same with you."

"That's a good point," John agreed, "but I'm pretty sure I, at least, got it the day after my birthday."

"What makes you so sure?"

"I, uh…" John looked to the ground, suddenly realizing how silly what he was about to say would sound out loud. "I get achievements."

"What," Liam said. It wasn't a question, but a statement as flat as his expression.

"The thing is," John hesitated, fishing for the right way to explain things. "My powers have a user interface. It's basically a game menu that no one can see except me." John pulled open his character sheet and started scrolling through it in a vain attempt to demonstrate.

"Yeah, you're just poking the air in front of you, dude, I got nuthin'."

"It's convenient, but I really wish I could show people if I wanted to," John lamented. "It's really cool looking - retro. I get a little health bar, an inventory, and everything."

"Why not try inviting me into your party?" Liam chimed in.

"I'm sorry?"

"You have a game menu, right? Send me a party invite," Liam said. "You have to be able to do that."

The thought had never once occurred to John over the last few days. He dug through his menu in search of the option. Lo and behold, he found a menu with nothing but a button labeled 'Invite to Party' tucked away in a tab just above his Observe log. He must have missed it when he discovered the log for the first time.

"Liam Suffield, you are either a genius or I am a complete dumbass," John admitted. Liam's lips pulled into a tight smile of smug validation.

"Both, really."

"Shut up and tell me what you see." John rolled his eyes and hit the button. It pulled up was what probably meant to be a list, if there were more people around. Instead, it read solely, 'Liam Suffield - Lv 3'. He tapped it.

John didn't need Liam's input, he could see an invite prompt pop up in front of his friend. Liam's subsequent reaction was enough to confirm that he could see it.

"Whoa, neat!" Liam leaned closer to inspect the translucent window floating before him. "You seeing this?"

"Yes," John said. "Just hit accept so we can see what happens."

"Boop."

Liam's sound effect prefaced two changes in John's UI. The first was that a new, smaller set of resource bars with Liam's name above them appeared just below John's own. The second, much more dominating change, was an achievement window.

-
<Achievement Unlocked!>
There Ain't No Party Like a Gamer Party
Form a Party for the first time.
+50 exp
+1 Potion of Minor Healing
+1 Potion of Minor Mana
-

"Does anything feel different?" John asked.

"No, not really." Liam waved his hand in front of his face. "I thought I'd get an interface too. Bummer."

"Well, we're definitely in a party, my UI says so," John replied. "You leveled up since the other day, by the way."

"Nice to know all of my work has been for something. Oh, hey! I can see it!" Liam looked over towards John and leaned in with abrupt curiosity. "Your menu! It's floating right here, right?" Liam framed John’s character sheet with his index fingers and thumbs, held in a pair of L-shapes that served as corner brackets.

"Yeah, you got it." John nodded. "I guess being in my party does that. Man, this'll make explaining things so much easier."

"John." Liam's tone was suddenly low - suspicious.

"Yes, Liam?"

"Why do you have a skill labeled 'Intercourse,' and why is it level three?"

"I, uh," John floundered, "you see, it's kinda complicated…"

"John. Did you get laid and not tell me, your closest friend and trusted confidant?"

"Look, Liam, it's not that simple." John sighed. "I haven't been able to tell pretty much anyone about anything since my birthday."

"That's not a 'no', John." Liam closed in further.

"Okay! Look, I'll tell you everything, just please get out of my face!"

John regaled his friend with the tale of the events leading up to and immediately after his encounter with Nazrinn. Despite Liam's prying, John held his ground against sharing the details of their actual illicit rendezvous, as well as most of everything in Brighton Manor outside of their agreement. Consequently, he was currently holding his ground against Liam's shocked and offended outburst.

"I can't believe you had sex with June Summers and didn't fucking tell me!" Liam shouted in a harsh whisper. His hands were shaking, alternating between moving in to **** John and balling into fists to punch him in the face. "Et tu, Newman!?"

"Get off your high horse, Caesar, you know exactly why I couldn't tell you," John grumbled and stepped back to give himself a little breathing room. He expected Liam to react like this, but experiencing it was something else. "Besides, it wasn't even June anyway."

"It was in every way that counts!" Liam shot back. "And you won't even tell me how it felt!"

"Dude, I was pretty much ****!" It was John's turn to express his frustration with mimed threats of bodily harm. This was not the part of his new world he was intending to dwell on.

"Were you though?"

"According to the law? YES!"

"But were you though?"

"Yes?" John replied with much less certainty. Liam didn't respond, he only continued to eye John with an intensely distrustful gaze. "Okay, fine! It was awesome and I loved every second! It was the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me and I've already jacked off while remembering it! Are you happy now?"

"Yes, I am." Liam adopted the same smug smile from earlier. "Doesn't telling the truth feel nice?"

"I still got tricked! She probably would have killed me afterwards if Moira hadn't burst in."

"So you're telling me that Princess Brighton has seen your dick?" Liam raised an eyebrow.

"Can we not talk about this? Please?" John smacked his own forehead in exasperation. His relationship with Moira was tenuous at best, she'd kill him if she knew he was talking about this.

"No, but seriously, what was her reaction? Was she all 'Kyaaaaa!' and embarrassed like some trope, or did she lock eyes on it and lick her lips?"

"Liam!"

"All I'm saying is that she's probably thirsty as fuck underneath her royal veneer. You think she uses the underclassmen in the student council to get off?"

"Oh my god."

"What? You seriously never wondered about that?" Liam crossed his arms and eyed John with skepticism. "Come on, man, have a little imagination."

"Why are you like this?" John groaned. It may have been friendly banter before, but Liam was genuinely getting on his nerves at this point.

"I'll bet she owns at least one whi-"

"Can we please focus on the part where June got kidnapped!?"

"Oh, fuck." Liam stopped dead in his tracks. "You're right."

"Thank you!" John threw up his arms in praise for whatever **** actually got Liam on track. He sunk onto a box and rubbed his forehead with both hands.

"Okay, real talk time," Liam said. "How can I help?"

"Honestly?" John took a moment to reset his brain and go over everything that led to today. Adding Liam to the equation didn't look great, for his sake. "Maybe don't. I've already almost died twice, three times if you count nearly going into cardiac arrest while being interrogated by Wentworth, and I have abilities to help me survive. You don't."

"Oh, don't get me wrong, John. This isn't going to be one of those 'I'm helping you whether you like it or not!' scenarios where I go way out of my league because of the power of friendship or some shit."

John felt inexplicably called out. He sighed and let Liam continue.

"I've got no interest in demon hunting and monster fighting, less in joining some 'Deus Vult' zealot knights, but that doesn't mean I can't help. I'm more than happy to stay in the background, combining things in my garage, safe and sound. Just consider me your personal equipment upgrade NPC."

"You know," John leaned back, "you're awfully eager to give up the spotlight."

"One," Liam shot his friend a cross look, "I know what I'm about. Two, I don't want to die. Three, you can reward me by bringing over any cute monster girls who are in need of some nice, human dick."

"I make absolutely no promises on that last part," John rolled his eyes, "but I do know of some fuck-hungry Kobolds that you would get along with really well."

"Pass. I'm not lining up for your sloppy seconds, thanks."

"You wouldn't be, I never touched any of them. Well, uh, except the ones that were trying to kill me. I touched them. With a knife. Repeatedly."

"Let me get this straight." Liam narrowed his eyes. "You had the chance to bang some horny lizard chicks and you didn't. Not just one, but several, and you turned them down? What the hell kind of pervert are you?"

"I'm not a pervert!"

Yes you are.

"Apparently not," Liam scoffed. "You disgust me."

"Shut up and take a look at these. I have an idea."

John pulled both Black Claw and his Kobold Prime Claw out of his inventory and set them on the workbench. The two were fairly similar in shape, not including the handle of the dagger, but not in size. Black Claw's description had said it was made of an actual fossilized claw, and both claws had the shared property of rousing a person's libido. It stood to reason that the Black Claw was actually made of a large Kobold Prime Claw. Maybe introducing a fresh specimen would enhance the effect?

"Try smashing these two together. I want to see if you can make the knife better."

"Ain't no laws when you're crushing claws!" Liam gave the 'OK' sign and stepped over to the table to get to work. Like before, it was a pretty unceremonious affair, he just pushed the two together until they were occupying the same space and what was once two became one.

Black Claw Prime
Weapon - Dagger
-Very Rare-
A Black Claw enhanced with the essence of a modern Kobold Prime. Sharper, more durable, and more potent, this blade represents the finest of Kobold equipment. Ownership of such an item demands recognition, if not respect.
13 Damage, Slashing/Piercing
Moderate chance to inflict ‘Libidinous’ status.
-

"Well, hot shit, it worked!"

"Are you sure? It doesn't really look different." Liam poked at the seemingly unchanged dagger. It was true that it didn't look all that different, maybe a bit cleaner around the edges if anything, but Observe didn't lie. It wasn't a huge improvement, but it was an improvement nonetheless.

"Trust me, I have a way of telling." John nodded. "You bumped it up from a Rare to a Very Rare."

"If you say so. But now that you mention it, why do you have a bunch of powers while I only have one?" Liam griped, handing the dagger back to John. "Liam buffs next patch pls." Despite his joking, John could tell that Liam was feeling genuinely bummed out.

"To be fair, your one power is actually way cooler than everything else I can do," John said. That seemed to lift his friend's spirits immediately.

"You're damn right it is." Liam grinned. "Come on, show me what you got! Let's combine some weird junk and figure this shit out!"