Pain

and with just a wee bit of philosophical nudging from these well-read men, just the tiniest amount of coaching and coaxing, the answer becomes obvious: you want pain. you have always wanted nothing more than pain.

you want to be hurt. you are what these men call a "child of de Sade". you are a masochist.

and you are encouraged to realize this by everyone who will now speak to you. all these Germans and Russians who are ever so much smarter than you, ever so much more worldly, better educated, and wiser. you are encouraged to think of yourself as a player, not as a pawn, and what is more you are encouraged to commit, to dedicate yourself fully, and to make the choice to embrace your destiny, to play this game out to its inevitable, bitter conclusion...

and the whippings, the gangbangs, these things are all par for the course these days, but they are not very challenging to you anymore, they are your day to day life. simple brutality is a dead end... you need men who will take an active interest in your undoing.

men who know how to really hurt a woman's body, how to make her go into convulsions with the intensity of her responsiveness. men who know exactly how to exploit your current debauched situation, how to make you drool and sputter with internalized derision, how to turn your face and nipples and armpits absolutely crimson with overwhelming, scathing humiliation, to make you croak and sob with shame...

and how to make you lie down and wallow in it, to admit how much you like it, to admit that having your face ground into the dog doo of self-disgust is actually your greatest joy, the creme de la creme of your perverse neediness, the ultimate, horrible fulfillment of everything you are or can become.

oh, it isn't just that people like to call you a dirty little piggy-slut, it's that you actually are a dirty, sickening, depraved little piggy-slut.

you are so much less than an animal: you are a a human toilet.

you are a piss-mop, a pincushion, a punching bag.

and now, with the help and sponsorship of these older gentlemen, you can learn to completely subvert your own self-preserving instincts. now you can truly step on board, truly embrace your fate and commit yourself to the program!

you will now deservingly submit to any punishment these men can conceive.

that is just who you are now, and these Germans and Russians, these older, wealthier gentlemen, they can find amazing ways to hurt your female body. they can hurt your mind and soul too, with just words. these men can play your delicate nerves like harp strings. they understand everything, and they really don't pull any punches.

it is really very intoxicating, and your heart beats wildly as they slowly bind you for their nightly games. these men "get" you completely, and are therefore rightfully entitled to remove every tiny vestige of control and self-determination you have ever had, or will ever have again. these strange, Eastern European men have now come to own your ass, both figuratively... and, as an added irresistible thrill, they now own you literally.