Other friends.

First period went on as always, with me trying and failing to pay attention for more than 10 minutes before my mind went to far more interesting places (like yesterday’s love hotel). It was still hard to believe I’d really gone and done that. My heart raced just remembering it, and I couldn’t stop myself from looking in Mila’s direction. Thankfully I could look without drawing much attention since I sat at the very back. But then I caught Mila turning her head to look back at me, and I flinched. Actually, we both did and turned our heads back to the board. I really needed to do something about my concentration in class or my grades really would suffer.

The bell rang and I let out a sigh of relief. I put my book and my pencil case away in my bag and was ready and eager to go to the girls. Mila and I would have to tell Grace and Sarah about the plan we’d made that morning. But as I looked at them, I stopped mid step.

Two other girls and another guy approached them first. They walked with a casual gait and wore friendly smiles. The trio of girls saw them coming and greeted them with mirrored expressions. I went back to my seat and tried to look busy with my backpack as I tried to hear their conversation.

“You three have been strangers these days, huh?” asked one of the girls.

“They’ve been busy with that quiet kid, right?” the second girl said, smirking. “Did you find yourselves a new toy?”

“Are you really bullying that guy?” asked the guy, glancing my way with a frown. I pretended like I didn’t notice.

“Bullying? Is that what people are saying?” Sarah asked. “Just when I thought rumors couldn’t get any dumber.”

“Where do they even get stuff like that?” Grace sighed and shook her head. “No, we’re not bullying him. We met at Thomas’ party and we became friends.”

“Then what is that I heard about you three **** the guy and taking him to the second floor?” The first girl asked, sounding ready to hear the gossip. “What did you do?”

Grace chuckled and waved dismissively. “People are talking about that, too? Oliver just doesn’t like parties and we wanted to keep talking, so we stepped away from all the noise. I swear, you all need to find some other hobbies.”

The way that Grace lied about those events like they were the absolute truth was… a little terrifying, but also really cool. If they had asked me I either would’ve frozen in place or blurted out some dumb lie and would’ve been caught immediately.

“I heard Mila made out with him,” the guy said, his brow furrowing deeper. “You’re gonna tell me that’s a misunderstanding as well?”

Mila’s face turned beet red, and it didn’t help her that Sarah confirmed those rumors.

“Yeah she did,” the blonde laughed. “After like five beers, though.”

“Ooooh.” Their friends exclaimed in understanding.

Something about that stung. So no girl could be interested in me unless she was totally drunk, huh? Well, not that I could blame them. And I got that Sarah and Grace were trying to dismiss everything that had happened as nothing major so as not to draw even more attention, but even so… I didn’t like hearing them deny that there was something happening between us. I mean, I understood it, accepted it and was even grateful for it. I think there was just a very, very small part of me that… wanted to brag about it.

The mere thought of it disgusted me. I disliked when people flaunted their girlfriends as if that somehow made them superior to everyone else, yet here I was entertaining the idea of doing the same? Fucking pathetic, as always.

I stood up from my seat and walked out the classroom. It didn’t look like that conversation would end anytime soon. I automatically started making my way to my safe spot.

I sighed. I was getting so caught up in all that was happening that I’d kind of forgotten that the girls had their own friends, too. They wouldn’t spend every recess with me. It was obvious. I couldn’t let something as small like that get to me, and I hated that it still did. No, I didn’t want them to stop hanging out with their friends to be with me, but I still wanted to be with them.

I clicked my tongue. Since this all started I’d been feeling things I had always looked down on. I guess I understood better why my sister would bring her boyfriend home without telling anyone. If she wanted to be with him in the same way I wanted to be with the girls, then I could definitely understand. And speaking of the devil, I saw her.

See, the classrooms for senior students are all on the fourth floor. Junior students are on the third, sophomores on the second and freshmen on the first. There were more than just classrooms on each floor, like the old music room on the second. So to get down there, I still needed to walk the hallways of the fourth floor to the stairs, walking past other senior classrooms. My sister was talking to her boyfriend right outside theirs.

I was hoping she wouldn’t catch me, but she did. She saw me walking alone, and I, in turn, caught her small smirk. She was no doubt happy to see me alone. I walked faster, not wanting to be anywhere near them. I’d had sex now, so I was hoping that seeing Isabelle with her boyfriend didn’t bother me anymore. It still did, for some damn reason.

On my way to my safe spot, I also saw Thomas talking to his girlfriend. She was shorter than him by quite a bit, but with them both smiling and laughing, they made for a cute sight. I found it interesting that seeing them didn’t bother me like seeing other couples did.

I guess I had no other choice but to admit to myself that I saw that guy as a friend already.