Operation Find the Boring Hot Guy

Monday mornings were not normally something Charlotte looked forward to.

Coffee with her sister, however, was.

That made the two things fairly easy to reconcile.

Charlotte sat at their usual table near the front window of the café, one leg crossed elegantly over the other, her phone resting beside her cup. She had dressed for the morning in a cream blouse tucked neatly into a long, dark skirt, with her brown hair falling over one shoulder in carefully arranged waves. There was nothing accidental about Charlotte's appearance. Even for coffee with her sister, she had taken the time to look presentable.

Tabitha, by comparison, looked as though she'd dressed specifically to annoy their mother.

The short blonde hair was still slightly messy from sleep, tattoos showing beneath the sleeves of a faded T-shirt, and the ripped jeans had more holes than seemed strictly necessary. She dropped into the chair opposite Charlotte and immediately stole one of the sugar packets from the table.

"You look smug," Charlotte said.

Tabitha tore open the packet.

"I always look smug."

"No. This is different."

"Maybe I'm just happy to see you."

"You've known me your entire life. That has never made you this happy."

Tabitha grinned and poured the sugar into her coffee.

"Fair."

Charlotte took a sip of her own drink. The café was busy enough to provide a pleasant background hum without being overwhelmingly loud. Morning sunlight spilled through the windows, catching on the glass pastry case and making the place feel warmer than the weather actually was.

For several minutes, they talked about nothing important. Tabitha complained about work. Charlotte complained about traffic. They discussed an upcoming family dinner, argued briefly over whether their mother would notice if Tabitha skipped it, and then moved on to more interesting topics. Eventually, Charlotte glanced across the table.

"So, how's it going with..."

She paused.

Tabitha looked up.

"With?"

Charlotte frowned thoughtfully.

"What was her name?"

Tabitha stared at her.

"You know her name."

"I do."

"You've met her."

"I know."

"You've literally asked me about her three times."

Charlotte waved a hand.

"Yes, well. That's why I'm asking you again."

Tabitha rolled her eyes.

"Jill."

"Right. Jill."

Charlotte smiled.

"How's it going with Jill?"

The reaction was immediate. Tabitha's expression changed. The grin disappeared. Her eyes dropped towards the coffee in front of her, and one finger began tracing a slow circle around the rim of the cup.

"Actually..."

Charlotte waited.

"I broke it off last night."

The words came quietly enough that Charlotte initially thought she'd misheard.

"You what?"

"I broke up with Jill."

"When?"

"Last night."

Charlotte leaned back in her chair.

"Why?"

Tabitha shrugged.

"Things weren't working."

"That doesn't sound like you."

"What does that mean?"

"It means you've been seeing her for a couple of weeks and every time you've talked about her, you've said she was great."

"She is."

"Then why did you break up with her?"

Tabitha's shoulders rose and fell.

"I don't know."

Charlotte narrowed her eyes.

"Tabitha."

"I'm serious."

"You're never serious when you say 'I don't know'. Usually you're hiding something."

"Maybe I'm becoming mysterious."

"You're twenty-eight years old. You're not mysterious. You're annoying."

That earned the smallest hint of a smile. Charlotte waited for it to disappear again.

"What's going on?" she asked, big sister energy coming through.

"I'm going through some stuff," Tabitha said as she stared at her coffee.

"What kind of stuff?"

"I don't know."

"That's twice."

"Congratulations."

"Tabitha."

Her sister sighed.

"Fine," a long pause followed, then, "Jill was awesome."

"Okay."

"Seriously. She was funny. She was hot. She was easy to be around. We got along really well."

"That sounds promising."

"It was."

Tabitha's fingers tightened around her coffee cup.

"Except..."

Charlotte waited.

"Since yesterday, I've been having a hard time getting my motor running thinking about her."

Charlotte blinked.

"Meaning?"

Tabitha's face reddened.

"Meaning I don't really get turned on thinking about Jill anymore."

Charlotte's eyebrows rose.

"That's it?"

"No."

Something in Tabitha's expression made Charlotte sit up a little straighter.

"What else?"

Tabitha looked around the café, as though someone might be listening. Her voice dropped almost to a whisper.

"Thinking about any woman, really."

Charlotte stared. For once, Tabitha seemed to have no sarcastic response ready.

"Any woman?"

"Yeah."

"You're not attracted to women anymore?"

"I don't know."

"Are you suddenly straight?"

Tabitha made a face.

"That sounds ridiculous when you say it."

"Because it is ridiculous."

"I know."

Charlotte studied her sister. Tabitha had spent years being very comfortable with who she was. There had never been any uncertainty about it. Men had simply never been part of the equation. Now apparently the entire equation had been thrown out the window.

"So what happened?"

"That's the weird part."

"I'm listening."

"It's not men."

Charlotte frowned.

"Then what is it?"

"One type of man."

The answer was so unexpected that Charlotte actually laughed.

"One type?"

"One very specific type."

"What type?"

Tabitha hesitated.

"Older. Like, I don't know, your age."

"Okay."

"Short."

Charlotte's amusement began to fade.

"Okay."

"Overweight."

That earned a longer pause.

"Overweight?"

"Yeah."

Tabitha's cheeks were getting redder.

"Kind of boring-looking."

Charlotte stared at her.

"Boring-looking?"

"Like an office worker."

Charlotte leaned back, completely baffled by the change in her sister, but also feeling a bit of unease start to grow in her stomach.

"Tabitha, you spent your entire adult life being attracted to women, and now you're telling me you've suddenly developed a thing for short, overweight office workers?"

"That's what it feels like."

"And you're sure it would be a man. Specifically boring, middle-aged, overweight men?"

"Apparently," Tabitha answered, getting a faraway look in her eyes. "Just thinking about it makes me feel... kind of... hot."

"I don't understand," Charlotte said as she shook her head slowly, her mind creating the image that her sister had just described. For several seconds, neither sister spoke as she thought about this mysterious man, this short, overweight man. Soft around the middle. Receding hairline. Kindness in his eyes.

Nothing particularly fashionable about him. Nothing sculpted or aggressively masculine. The sort of man Charlotte might once have dismissed without a second thought. Her stomach gave a strange little twist. Charlotte frowned, recognizing that this image wasn't actually supplied by her sister's desire, but by the idle thoughts that had been chasing her all night.

"I think I know what you mean," she finally said, her voice almost in a whisper.

Her sister's eyes narrowed.

"You do?" Tabitha leaned forward. "Wait. You mean you get it? This guy? How hot he is?"

Charlotte looked down at her coffee.

"Since yesterday my mind's been wandering, thinking about men too."

Silence. Tabitha's mouth fell open.

"Men?"

Charlotte blushed.

"One man, really."

"What kind?"

Charlotte looked at her.

"You already know."

The two sisters stared at one another. Then Tabitha's eyes widened.

"No."

Charlotte gave a helpless little laugh.

"Yes."

"You too?"

"I think so."

"Short?"

"Yes."

"Older?"

"Yes."

"Overweight?"

Charlotte nodded.

"Yes."

"Kind of boring looking?" Tabitha said, sitting back in her chair. "What the hell?"

For another few seconds, they simply stared at one another.

Then Tabitha started laughing. Charlotte tried to hold it back. She failed.

Within seconds, both women were laughing hard enough that Charlotte had to put her coffee down before she spilled it. The absurdity of the situation was simply too much. Tabitha, who had never been interested in men, was suddenly interested in one very specific sort of man. Charlotte, who had always considered herself far more discerning, had apparently developed exactly the same preference.

"Of all the men in the world," Tabitha managed between laughs.

"I know."

"Why that?"

"I don't know."

"There's something about it, though."

Charlotte wiped at the corner of one eye.

"There is."

Tabitha leaned closer.

"I mean... the hair."

Charlotte smiled.

"The receding hairline?"

"Yeah."

"I've never understood that before, but can you imagine running your fingers through it?"

"I can't stop."

Another round of laughter threatened to start. Tabitha finally settled back into her chair.

"God, there's something sexy about it," Tabitha said, staring at the ceiling. "Being with a man like that. Like, you know, with him. I bet the belly makes him better in bed."

They both dissolved into laughter again. Eventually, the conversation settled into silence. Charlotte looked across the table at her sister, still trying to make sense of what had happened. The change felt bizarre, but there was another strange element to it. Neither of them seemed particularly upset by this sudden shift in their preferences. Confused, certainly. Surprised, unquestionably. But not upset.

Somewhere inside Charlotte was the uncomfortable realization that she actually liked the idea. The thought of that particular kind of man no longer seemed ridiculous. Quite the opposite. The image made something warm stir inside her. And apparently Tabitha felt the same way.

"Well," Charlotte said, picking up her coffee, "at least we won't have to fight over him."

"We don't even know who he is, dork," Tabitha said, laughing. "Not that I'd be jealous. I bet a guy like that has plenty to go around."

"True."

"Although..."

Charlotte raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"I think I've seen someone like that."

"Where?"

"A bar."

"When?"

"A couple of weeks ago."

Tabitha leaned forward immediately.

"Seriously?"

Charlotte nodded slowly.

"I remember noticing him. Not because I was attracted to him at the time. Quite the opposite. I just remember thinking he looked..."

"Boring?"

"Very."

Tabitha laughed.

"That's our guy."

"Maybe."

"Do you remember where?"

"Yes."

Tabitha's expression turned mischievous. Charlotte recognized that look immediately.

"No."

"I didn't even say anything."

"You were about to."

"I was thinking it."

"That counts."

Tabitha leaned back, grinning.

"We should go."

Charlotte considered the idea. A night out. A bar. Maybe the strange man she'd noticed had been a regular. Maybe she'd see him again. Maybe he'd notice her. Maybe he'd notice Tabitha. Maybe, just maybe, he'd notice both of them. And, for reasons Charlotte still couldn't quite explain, the possibility was suddenly very appealing.

"One of these nights," Charlotte said.

"Tonight?"

"Not tonight. I've got plans."

"Tomorrow?"

"Maybe," she said, already thinking about how she could reshuffle her schedule.

Tabitha nodded solemnly.

"Operation Find the Boring Hot Guy."

She picked up her coffee and smiled across the table.

"Fine. We'll go looking for him."

Neither sister knew what they were looking for. But somehow, both of them were certain they wanted to find it.