Notes back and forth with Brandon

You don't know what to draw, and you feel that this is similar to the benchmark test where it's first-day work that can't be worth a lot of your grade. Instead you write on your sketch paper, wait until you know Schmitt isn't looking, and then hold it up to Brandon while tapping on his desk with your pencil.

No idea what 2 draw. U?

He holds up what he has already started. The least round, least sexy pair of breasts that you have ever seen. You try not to laugh out loud. He has turned the page sideways to capture them in all their glory, and you don't know how he could make what he has started resemble good art, even if he was given a million years to perfect it. You write on your paper again and hold it up.

Are u even taking this srsly?

He writes beneath his tits. Idk dude 1st thing in my brain. U draw something.

With no better idea, you draw...hair, two gigantic eyes beneath it, and then a long cyndrical nose running from between the eyes and ending in a curved point. You give it one "nostril" that doesn't look like a nostril at all. Then beneath it you write: Harry.

He holds back a chuckle, and writes on his paper. If ur gonna draw a 8=D, at least be honest.

It's not Harry's fault. He was born this way. You write back.

U drew him that way on purpose. He writes.

No, you write. And then, with inspiration. God is cruel. When Harry was a boy, he was in a special class filled with people like him.

Brandon seems about to break, so you put your paper back down on your desk and write furiously. They met every day after school. They were called the breakfast sausage club.

Brandon breaks out into into a piercing and very attention grabbing guffaw. Schmitt turns and looks at you with disappointment, but not surprise. You feel like you may have just confirmed her stereotypical view of teenage males. She clacks over, in her heels, and her eyes scan what the two of you have drawn and written, back and forth. She shakes her head.

"For those who are willing to put in effort," she says. "This exercise is still worthwhile. At least show some ingenuity, gentlemen. I have been seeing that penis-face since 2007."

Then she walks away. For the first time, you put effort into what you are drawing on your paper. You put every ounce of calligraphy skill that you have ever had to use in drawing beautiful flowing script right beneath Harry's face. It reads: Class of 2007.

Brandon's head hits his desk as he tries to suppress his laughter.

Oh well, you didn't learn anything, but at least you had fun. Now, you prepare for your last 'first' class of the semester.