Nerds in the Dark

“Again, the school condoms were faulty, please stop using them, a non-profit has ensured everyone can finish their education, and … please destroy any remaining faulty contraceptives. Lastly, please seek nurse Joy if you’re not feeling well, Thank You!” Principal Frizzle said before abruptly ending the school announcements.

The principal’s announcement caused a shift in the school. The news that 80% of female seniors were pregnant and 50% of female juniors caused everyone to reconsider what was cool. Now that most of the student population was making babies, boys and girls alike started bullying any upperclassman not showing a baby bump. This new social pressure caused girls with flat bellies to start wearing fake baby bumps to blend in. By November all of Sunny Vista High’s female seniors and juniors were sporting pregnant bellies real or not.

Valerie Frizzle sighed as she walked through the parking lot. All her attempts to reduce school pregnancies backfired. Now … everywhere she looked she saw baby bumps. Even her reflection in the cars she passed showed a bump.

“Good morning, Principal Frizzle!”

Ms. Frizzle looked up to see Alle Apples her 25-year-old secretary. The school’s front desk administrator was in a tight dress highlighting her growing pregnancy.

“Ms. Apples, how are you?” Ms. Frizzle asked suppressing a groan.

“Just lovely, Mr. Brown took me on a date last night, it was amazing,” Alle said with a squeal.

Ms. Frizzle’s eye twitched at that. Mr. Brown was the school’s lawyer and her baby daddy. It still pissed her off that he knocked up other women.

“That’s lovely dear,” Ms. Frizzle said suppressing her annoyance.

Alle Apples didn’t stop sharing as they made their way to the admin building.

“Curse those faulty condoms. I wish I was there to watch them burn,” Ms. Frizzle thought angrily.

At the same moment as Ms. Frizzle’s curse, a senior waited under the gym’s bleachers. But instead of cursing the faulty condoms, she did the opposite.

“Thank God, for these condoms. One more sale and I can afford my dream computer,” Milly Myerson thought happily.

Milly had smuggled a box of the infamous school-issued condoms out of storage. As Nurse Joy’s 4th-period assistant she recognized the condom’s effects before the principal ordered the contraceptives burned.

“Milly? … You in there?” A squeaky voice whispered.

Milly adjusted her glasses before seeing her final customer at the secret entrance. She looked at her phone. It was 30 minutes before the first bell.

“You’re late,” Milly said watching Wade Welch crawl under the bleachers.

“Sorry, I got lost,” Wade said nervously.

Wade gulped at seeing Milly Myerson. She was a nerd like him … and beautiful. It was too bad she was probably taken already. Everyone was taken at Sunny Vista High.

“Did you bring the money?” Milly asked eyeing the geek.

Wade took a thick envelope out of his backpack. But as he was about to hand it over, he spotted an odd shape.

“What’s that?” Wade asked pointing.

“Shit,” Milly thought in a panic.

She wasn’t wearing her fake pregnant belly. It was getting hot under the bleachers, and she forgot to put it back on before Wade arrived. If news got out, she would lose social standing or worse.

“Nothing, just my bump,” Milly said trying to downplay the situation.

“You’re not pregnant?” Wade asked surprised.

“Ya … so what. You want the condoms or not?” Milly said changing the topic.

Wade smiled at the news. One of the sexiest girls in school was still available.

“… Well?’ Milly asked breaking Wade from his thoughts.

“Yes,” Wade said handing over the envelope.

Milly took the cash and handed Wade a small box.

“Great, now, don’t be stupid. You didn’t get those condoms from me. And don’t ask for more. That’s the last of them. … And don’t let any of your female relatives handle the goods. My first customer left them out and knocked up his stepsisters,” Milly said counting her money.

Wade paused at that. He heard the rumors. Everyone did. The mythical condoms didn’t prevent pregnancy. Their true worth came as an aphrodisiac.

“So, the rumors are true? The condoms have some kind of chemical on them that makes people horny,” Wade said opening the box.

“I can’t say, I never touched the things,” Milly said passively, thinking of her new computer.

Wade physically counted two dozen condoms. He picked one up and gave it a sniff. It didn’t smell like anything. But as Wade put it back in the box, he noticed the scent of women’s perfume. Looking around he saw Milly. Her shirt showed a few sweat drops.

“She must be burning up,” Wade thought before gulping.

Just then Milly started packing up. She put her money away, before lifting her shirt.

“Class will be starting soon. I trust you won’t tell anyone about my bump,” Milly said strapping her fake belly on.

Time slowed as Wade watched the hot nerd show her bare belly.

“She so sexy … I wish that bump was real,” Wade thought as Milly pulled her shirt down.

“Shit, I always forget. Bag first then belly,” Milly said seeing her backpack on the ground.

Wade got a front-row seat to Milly’s butt, as she bent down to grab her bag. Suddenly inspired, Wade stepped up and did the unthinkable. The thin geeky virgin poured his 24 magical condoms over Milly’s head.

“What the?” Milly thought before realizing with horror what was happening.