Mall Strip

I was walking to Marshall's with my daughter, Rebecca, who needed clothes for the new school year. She had been complaining to me that she doesn't like the clothes I pick for her but as I always say to my daughter, "You have to look the part to be the part."

"But I don't want to be a prostitute like you," said Rebecca.

The feelings of anger and confusion washed over me when I heard that sentence. I was about to turn around and give my daughter a slap on the cheek when I stopped and considered her sentence. It was true that I was a hard-working woman who'd allow any man inside her home. So I didn't see the reason for me being upset until I looked at my clothes. I'm usually doing my job whenever I leave the house, but my clothes didn't reflect that at all. Marshall's will probably fix this. But as my daughter and I walked to Marshall's, I saw a guy with his girl walking towards us complaining about pretzels or something, and I couldn't help but lift my shirt up. The look on their faces was priceless.

"Could you be any more embarrassing?"

"Keep talking like that, and you'll be out on the street," I said.

We walked into Marshall's and was glad to see that I wasn't the only one the job. Several women were looking at tube tops, miniskirts and potential tattoos to wear.

"None of this looks any weird to you, Mom?" Rebecca asked.

"Can you stop?" I said. I took my top and bra off to try on this shirt that would showcase my midriff.

I was sitting near the water fountain on my own, wondering what had just happened in Victoria's Secret, when a puff of smoke filled my face and obscured my view. By the time I cleared the smoke, I felt the coolness of the store on my chest and looked down to my horror at my bra. Apparently, whoever did this smoke trick at me was able to steal my shirt, leaving me with my jeans and bra. Or was my jeans as another puff of smoke happened, and my jeans were no more.

Giving a short scream, I ran as fast as I could to the nearest restroom. As I kept running, I could see several other women on a similar boat as me, some aware while others didn't seem aware. In my running, I bumped into another woman who said, "Shame on you," and continued walking.

I was about to curse her out when my boots disappeared in another cloud of smoke. Seeing how my underwear will suffer a similar fate, I decided the best way of hiding would be back at the water fountain. Would it be? Seeing how my bra just turned to air and I'll be stark naked soon, I might as well be in a water fountain. I jumped into the fountain to the excitement of another nude girl inside and to the annoyance of others.