Malgor, 3000 years old, Dark Lord

The camera tilts down from a bright sky to a menacing castle made of black stone. Its towers are piercing spires that look like they would stab any bird that might perch on them. The front gates feature embellished skulls, polished so that they shine under the bright sunlight. The gates creak as they open, revealing a long, dark hallway and a woman in a black dress with a slit down the left leg walks towards the camera. Her long ashen white hair gently bobs from side to side behind her and her ample bosom bounces with each step. She dramatically stops at the gates and smiles for the camera.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a brand new season of Harem Hotel!”

The view zooms out to reveal the sinister castle is on a beach, a distinct juxtaposition that isn’t lost on the ashen-haired lady as she turns around to admire the contrasting atmospheres. The beach is surrounded on one side by a lush ocean and on the other side by a dense forest, not tropical but more like what would be seen in a fairy tale. The woman turns back to the camera.

“I am your host, Helga! And on this season, we’ll be taking you to a place we’ve never visited before!” she says with vigor, “A place of might and magic! Of fantasy and adventure! Where humans, elves, and other creatures live alongside each other! Where the battle between good and evil is almost at an end! And we’ll be giving that cosmic struggle a little nudge in our preferred direction. This is Harem Hotel: Evil’s Vengeance!"