Lonesome

Work was boring, it was always boring, but today the boredom seemed to hang heavy in the air. The first hour in the office I had spent staring out of the window, looking down on the bustling little street and the narrow houses pressed against one another along the cracked pavement. A woman walking her dog had chattered loudly on the phone, almost loud enough for me to listen in on her conversation, which had managed to distract me for a glorious few minutes. A single E-mail had come in from Barbara, before opening it I knew exactly what it would say.

'Logan dear, my computer is broken again, the screen is black and nothing will work. I've pressed every button on the keyboard and still nothing. What do I do?'

I sighed and typed back, as pleasantly as I could, that she should try turning on the screen to her computer with the little button on the back. This, it seemed, was something that remained quite an elusive task for Barbara. Having completed what would end up being the bulk of my labour that day, I lounged back in my chair and pulled out my phone. I noticed that Kathrine, my girlfriend, had texted me, asking me to get something for dinner on the way home. I knew that I should respond to her, that she would comment on it if I didn't when I'd get back to the apartment tonight, but I just didn't feel like it. I loved Kathrine, she had been my girlfriend since I was seventeen, she had been my first kiss, my first everything, but God did she bore me as of late. I couldn't put my finger onto why? Nothing much had changed, neither her nor I, still this nagging feeling of despair came over me every time I saw her name pop up on my phone screen.

Another notification popped up, one that surprised me, as I had been sure I'd turned off the notifications to this particular app right after I had downloaded it. I looked over my shoulder, as if expecting somebody to be snooping on me in the empty room. With my cheeks slightly red I clicked on the message and waited a few seconds for Grindr to load. Last week I had bit the bullet, I had been mulling over downloading the notorious gay dating app for a long while, had even been recommended it by a number of guys who I secretly spoke to on Snapchat. Never had I thought that I would be able to muster up the courage to actually download it, better yet, use it...