Lexi, A 23-year-old gym obsessed high school graduate

Derek pivots toward you with the practiced ease of a shark circling prey, his smile widening as the studio lights catch the artificial gleam of his teeth. The audience settles into an expectant hush, broken only by the occasional nervous giggle.

"Well, well! Look at that confidence," Derek purrs into his microphone, his eyes roaming over you with undisguised appraisal. "I love a contestant who's eager to play. Crystal, are we all set?"

From the wings, a woman totters forward on six-inch lucite heels. She's clearly another victim of 'Brain Drain'—platinum blonde hair teased into an enormous cascade, lips pumped to pornographic proportions, and squeezed into a latex nurse's outfit that leaves nothing to imagination. Her breasts strain against the white material like two overinflated balloons.

"All ready, Mr. Sinclair!" Crystal chirps, her voice carrying that breathy, vacant quality of someone whose IQ dropped forty points for entertainment value. She adjusts something on a control panel near your podium, and you feel the shackles around your wrists click more firmly into place. "The transformation booth is calibrated and the first restraint is locked!"

"Excellent," Derek says, turning back to you. "Now, Lexi—may I call you Lexi?—let me remind our viewers at home of the stakes. You're locked in with one restraint already. Each wrong answer adds another lock and triggers an immediate transformation. Each correct answer doubles your money, starting at ten thousand dollars."

He produces a card from his suit pocket with theatrical flourish.

"Let's start nice and easy, shall we? Question one, for ten thousand dollars: In the 2024 reboot of 'The Bachelor,' which contestant famously quit the show by stealing the production van and driving it into the ocean off Malibu Pier?"

The audience titters. Derek leans against his podium, watching you with predatory anticipation. Behind him, Crystal bounces on her heels, her vacant smile never wavering as her finger hovers near a large red button labelled 'TRANSFORM.'