Left

As I am trying to make my decision, I look up at the sky and notice the moon is on the left side of the path. I remember a time when I got screwed over by a lack of moonlight and I want to avoid that this time around. So, I head over to the left side of the path and step over the rope. Let’s hope I made the correct decision.

As I am straying through the forest, through the area where the men can catch me, I can’t help but think back of previous Samhains. I have sure had my fair share of drama. The biggest one would be when I was 20. I was in love with Kanin back then, the smith’s son. We cared about each other so much. Enough that we wanted to get married and have a family. When we were talking about our future like this, it was almost Samhain, so Kanin suggested we find each other during Samhain and maybe get me pregnant then. Knowing that Samhain children are gifted, I quickly agreed. If only it hadn’t been so dark that day. If only it had been a full moon instead of a new moon. I would have been able to see the guy close to me was Killean instead of Kanin. But at least Killean was not related to me.

Kanin too had a hard time seeing who he had caught and assumed it was me. It wasn’t. It was his own sister, Darine. I really think he honestly believed he was fucking me instead of his sister. That when he put his seed in her, he thought was breeding me instead of his sister. And I know his sister well enough to know that she wasn't interested in her brother either. We only discovered who we really had sex with after we returned home. Darine came to find me and apologized to me profusely. Then she and I both had a very stressful month.

I was lucky enough that Killean’s seed didn’t take root inside me. This way, I was still available for Kanin. Darine on the other hand was not so lucky. About a month after that Samhain, Darine didn’t have her period and the elders decided Kanin’s seed had taken root inside her. The next week, she and Kanin were wed. I didn’t go to their wedding. I would’ve cried too much. And I heard from friends that Darine cried as well.

As by tradition, the newlyweds left their parent’s house and moved into an empty one. We typically always keep 1 empty house in our village. Either from someone who passed away, or a new house that was built during summer, when it’s easier to perform hard labor. I tried my best to adjust to the new reality, but I couldn’t do it.

Three months after Kanin and Darine started living by themselves, I found myself alone with him and I got emotional. I started telling him how none of this should have happened, how all of this was unfair, and in a moment of weakness, I ended up kissing him. My desire to be with him again was stronger than myself, and honestly, Kanin didn’t mind it. We both gave in to our passions and he ended up cheating on his wife with me. I know it was wrong, but it was also exciting. It was some of the best sex I’ve had in my life. Because Kanin had just shown me that even though he was supposed to be with Darine, he still loved me more. I later made him cheat on his wife with me again, and again, and every time, I felt like I had taken my man back. It were a happy two months, because we never got caught. But on the third month, our actions came to bite us because … Kanin’s seed had then taken root in me as well.

Boy, was Kanin angry when I told him. He said he wanted to have nothing to do with our child. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He loved me, didn’t he? But then he broke my heart by throwing me out of his house. I went to the elders and demanded they make him take responsibility. It was the worst mistake in my life. I should have given up on him instead of going against the will of the ancestors. I should not have seduced him. I now have to take care of my child by myself. Fortunately, my parents were a lot more forgiving. They were disappointed in me, for sure, but I was still their daughter.

At any rate, I am done with Kanin. If for any reason he wants to get back with me, I will refuse him completely. He is dead to me. But it is hard to raise little Alyn by myself and I feel guilty for always relying on my parents to help out. I need a man. Someone responsible. I tried getting together with Killean, because that’s whom I got together with during Samhain, but he didn’t want to raise Kanin’s child, so he refused. And there were a lot of other guys who had the exact same excuse. So by now, I fear the only way I will ever get to have a husband is when I use the Samhain event to tie one of them to me. 2 years ago, I caught Merlan, but unfortunately, his seed didn’t take root. And last year, it were Gavin’s twins. Those two are not mature enough to be a father, so I am actually rather happy I didn’t get pregnant from them. I am going to need to be careful who I am going to catch. The moon can both be my guide, or reveal me and cause them to run.

Suddenly, I hear the rustling of leaves a bit further on my side. I duck and make my way from bush to tree and then another bush, trying to keep out of sight. When I peek from behind a large bush, I notice a guy. His back is facing me and the moonlight is clear enough that I can see who it is.