Lean into fan boy vibes

You: Sorry, but like—I literally watched The Voyeurs thrice. You were soo hot in it.”

Sydney: “Appreciate it. Thanks :)”

She drops a smiley, but short. Controlled. You should slow down, but instead you double down, scrolling back through her profile like you need more proof she’s real.

You: “And that spread you did for Elle last year?? Iconic. I showed my friend and told her ‘this is peak aesthetic.’ Honestly it’s surreal talking to you here. Like what are the odds??”
Sydney: “Yeah haha. Small world, I guess.”

Her replies are clipped, polite, the kind of tone you’d use for a fan at Starbucks who recognized you mid-oat-latte order. But you’re in too deep to stop.

You: “No, seriously though—this is insane. I don’t even know if I should flirt or ask for an autograph. Like, do people actually get to go on dates with Sydney Sweeney?? Because if so, put me at the top of the list”

The dots blink. Then vanish. Nothing.
You wait. Five minutes. Ten. Open and close the app. Still nothing.
You fire one last Hail Mary:

You: “Sorry if I’m being a total fanboy. Just crazy excited. Promise I can be chill once I get over the initial shock. ”

Message delivered. Never read.

The match stays in your list for a day, her perfect face staring back from the thumbnail. But the chat box stays silent. A week later, she’s gone completely—whether unmatched or deleted, you’ll never know.

All you’re left with is the dull ache in your chest and the sinking realization: you came on like every other dude in her DMs. And Sydney Sweeney doesn’t need another fan. She wanted someone normal—something you couldn’t manage to be.