Laura and Annie are put on a cage

If there is any silver lining in this situation, is that the townspeople didn’t want to involve the authorities, instead opting to take justice into their own hands! So, we are not going to jail!

The bad news is that this is an old timely town, with old timely punishments. Some would even go so far as to call them medieval. The town’s council, in its infinite wisdom, decided to dust off an old cage and hang us above market square like a couple of common knaves.

So, that’s what we’ve been doing for the past …I don’t know how long. We are hanging above the market square like caged birds in lieu of their beloved statue while they fix it back in place. To make matters even more awkard, the town only had one cage remaining from its glory days five centuries ago.

So, they had to squeeze Laura and I together, and we are now sharing the most uncomfortable hug of our lives. Of course, we are both still naked, the safety blanket was taken away from us forever because life is unjust sometimes.

The whole front of our bodies, our faces, chest, legs, and even our groins, are pressed together by the metal cage. The heat radiating from Laura is sweltering; both our skins are covered in sweat, sticking to each other like butter on toast. I feel her big breasts pushing mine away like schoolyard bullies establishing their territory, not to mention my ass still chafes when it rubs against the metal bars behind it.

I have never seen Laura cringe as much as I do now, and trust me, I have a very close-up look. To be fair, my face also feels like the surface of the sun, and my toes have been curled for at least an hour straight, so it’s not like I’m looking like the picture of calmness.

“This really is the worst,” I whine, my lips caressing Laura’s flustered cheeks. We both learned to talk with our heads slightly corked at the sides after our fifth accidental kiss. “I wish they let us out already!”

“Y-yeah, but it’s not like we have anywhere to go after this.”

“Hey girls!” Well, that’s new, someone approached us talking in not Italian for once. Giant shoes, orange and purple suit, literal balloon breasts, bright red nose… A clown. Huh, she looks how I’m feeling. “I’m Boza, from the circus just out of town. I’ve come to let you know that we heard about your little debacle, and we found it completely hilarious. We are going to incorporate it as a routine in our future shows.”

“Great, our fame grows…” I lament.

“What kind of circus has that kind of act?” Laura asked.

“Well, we aren’t a traditional circus per se. Think of us as the circus du solei for burlesque acts!” the clown smacked her suspenders, crimson lips smiling proudly. “And we were thinking, since you two are our special brand of pervertiti, maybe you are interested in playing with us? Who better to do the routine than someone who lived through it, am I right?”

“We aren’t going to debase ourselves further by-“ Laura shuts me up by putting her cheek up to my mouth.

“I’m afraid to ask, but what exactly would that “act” entail?”

“Why, nothing but a recreation of your accident, but with a bit more flair, dancing and acrobatics. Your tug of war with the towel, the bumpy ride to the broken statue. Oh, and the act ends with the two actresses trapped in a cage above the stage for the rest of the night. Pretty great, right? I can hear the applause already!”

“And I can already feel my soul trying to leave my body. We won’t-” Laura blocks my mouth again. I try to recover my free speech by liking her, but all I do is make her flinch a little.

“And where would you perform these functions?”

“Oh, we are on a Euro tour. We are going across the continent from here to Portugal, and then we take a little flight across the big pond for our Americas tour.”

I shut my mouth. I see what Laura is getting at, this could be our ticket home! Our mortifying, ticket home! She looks at me and nods, but I hesitate. As much as I hate our au natural tour of Italy, reliving today’s embarrassment every night might be a bit too much for my heart.

“I don’t like it either, but we either do this, or we have a long walk of shame to and across Rome, where the Romans will gawk at us like we are the second coming of Vergintorix,” Laura whispers directly in my ear.

“Didn’t think you knew that much history.”

“I read Asterix and Obelix. So, what do you say?”

I gulp. At least the circus would offer us some anonymity as we move around. “Fine…”

“Ok, we accept!” Laura yells at the clown.

“Excellent, we are going to stay here a couple more days. Come find us when you are set free and we’ll get to work on nailing the routine. Next stop, Rome!”

The clown leaves, and I stare at Laura’s eyes long and hard. “It’s either this or a walk of shame in Rome,” I mimic sarcastically.

"L-look at the bright side, at least we won’t have to walk everywhere now!"

I sigh. It’s really hard to look at the bright side sometimes.