Kim Knows She's a Robo-slut

You feel like you can hardly wait to open the box Kim Roboslut came in. But you have to. The only way you could afford the fully accessorized model with every function available was to share the cost with your brother and his roommate. You called them immediately after the large container wrapped in plain, brown packing paper had arrived at your doorstep. But not only did they live miles away in their college dorm, your brother Ron told you Brian wasn't finished with a class. Well, at least you could tear away the wrapping.

The box made the full-size humanoid inside seem like a doll. It was brightly colored with words in Barbie-like fonts telling you that she is: 'Your Very Own Kim Possible Roboslut!' and 'Anatomically Correct to the Smallest Detail!' and 'Comes with Dildos for Recharging Her!' and 'Dress Her Up or Strip Her Down - She Does Poledances!'.

But you would rather gaze through the plastic that takes up most of the front of the box. The auburn haired teen is in her action wear: leather gloves; long-sleeved, midriff-exposing, black turtleneck; green cargo pants; and black boots. Her skimpier costumes will actually cost us more. But your mind isn't really on what she was wearing, either.

You, Ron and Brian could agree on one thing we wanted to change from the original's body. And this Kim had those C cups; the stretch out her top nicely. You wonder what kind of lingerie she is wearing. Your bet is that in the original's strenuous mission-work required her to wear a sports bra. But you still see signs of nipples. Maybe she has such long, puffy ones that even an extra layer of clothing couldn't retrain them.

Your eyes at last wander down to her midriff and an area further south. Since all you can see is a zipper, your eyes wander over to what she's holding. In her right hand is her Kimmunicator. (It can't do everything the original's can, can it?) In her left is a book. You are trying to guess the title from the letters visible when the door opened. At last! Ron and Brian are here!

"Booyah! Kim Possible has come save us from our cumless lives!" your brother yells out on seeing the girl behind plastic.

"Speak for yourself!" Brian said, taking out his penknife. "Unlike you, I have a girlfriend. I've almost convinced her to cosplay Shego." Just before he started cutting into the plastic, he said, "That would make me Drakken. Find yourself another cosplay role."

"That's easy! My name is Ron!" He said to you, "Sorry, bro. I don't remember any "Tom" in the show."

But you're not concerned. "I don't need any roleplaying. Most of the money for her comes from me and this is my house. More importantly," you say, holding up your cell, "the app that controls her is on my phone!"

Before anything more can be said, the plastic window has been cut and pulled away enough to allow us to reach inside the box and touch our robo-slut.

That is what she has been waiting for, apparently, as she moves and steps herself out onto your floor. She introduces herself in a perfect imitation of Kim Possible's voice, tone and attitude. Taking a ready-for-action stance, she holds up her book in front of her for all of us to see its title. "I'm Kim Possible, robo-slut! I can do anything!" The book was Anything Possible Beyond the Kama Sutra.