Kevin and Andrew

The first to greet you were Kevin and Andrew, a thirty-something married gay couple who lived almost directly across the streey from you. Andrew was very athletic and was dressed entirely in Underarmor gear. If he hadn't been introduced as party of a couple, you never would have guessed he was gay. He was the type of guy the old you would have loved to hang out with.

Kevin, however, was a different story. His hair was bleached and spiked. He wore a seashell choker, a button up shirt, cargo shorts and sandals. He spoke just like a movie stereotypical gay man, including the lisp and very animated hands. Unlike his husband, you found him highly annoying.

Andrew was an office manager who ran marathons, and Kevin was a house husband who ran an interior decorator service on the side.

"Welcome to the neighborhood," Andrew said very politely.

"We will point out all the people you should avoid," Kevin added.

One thing you had found slighlty annoying since taking your place as a woman was that when you met new people, then men always largely ignored you and talked to Charlie. You were never really sure if it was a form of unintentional sexism, or if it was men's way of showing they weren't going to hit on Charlie's woman, which you also realized was another form of sexism.

Unfortunately that left you alone with Kevin, as the men discussed which mowing service was the best.

"Nice job landing a DILF, gi--irl," Kevin said adding a feline soundinh growl. "Is it daddy issues, money or a big dick? Has to be something because half the straight guys out here are checking you out. A girl has to have a reason for marrying someone old enough to be her dad."

You blushed.

"I see," he giggled. "Mmmmm, nothing wrong with marrying for some big dick."

"And he knows how to use it," you say softly.

"Damn, Amy, tell it," Kevin said, putting a hand on your arm. "Sorry to go straight for the throat, but I had to find out if you were gonna be cool, or if you were gonna be another stick up the ass like the Baptists next door...Hey Karen!"

"Only when I'm in the mood for anal," you added.

"Damn, girl, your fierce," Kevin said with a laugh. "Well, you look out for judgy McHolier than everyone. Karen Roberts and her husband Dave. Dave is okay, and not bad looking for a bald middle aged man with a dad body. He has always been nice. Its fun to make him uncomfortable. I always make sure Andrew and I hold hands or kiss in front of him. Dave always looks just a little too long, you know? I bet he has a computer full of secret gay porn. But Karen...she's a bitch."

"Whats her deal?"

"She likes to leave religious pamphlet on our door telling us how we're going to hell. I know she has talked to some of the other neighbors about 'the faggot couple.' Just general homophobic stuff. But she will always smile and be friendly to our faces."

"Dude, that sucks."

"Don't think she will be any different with you, just because you're married to a guy," he continued. "She hates everyone. Fat people. Black people. We used to have another non-age appropriate couple in the neighborhood and she told everyone the wife was a gold digging whore and the husband was a craddle robbing pervert."

"She sucks."

"I bet she doesn't," Kevin added, and you both laugh. "If I wasn't married, I'd suck Dave's cock just to get even with the bitch. Oh, here he comes."

Dave looked exactly as described, complete with a slight spare tire around the middle. He approached the two of you with a polite smile.

"You must be our new neighbor," he said.

"Nice to see you, David," Kevin said, smiling back. "Have you lost some weight? You've been working out."

"Oh...uh...yeah, thanks for noticing," Dave stammered. "I got a new membership down at the Y for my birthday. I really like spin class."

"Good for you," Kevin said.

"Well, uh, Karen needs a Sprite, I'd better go," Dave said nervously.

"Okay, baby, enjoy the party."

Kevin smiles as Dave rushes away.

"Yeah, he's gay or bi," you agree and both of you laugh.