Jessica, A 23-year-old unemployed graduate

Derek's smile widens into something predatory as he registers your readiness. The studio lights intensify, catching the gleam of his too-white teeth.

"Excellent! Our contestant is eager to begin," he announces, turning to play to the camera with practiced ease. "Jessica here thinks she can beat the odds. She's got that look in her eyes—the one that says she's smarter than all those other girls who've sat in that very booth." He gestures broadly toward you, and the audience responds with a mixture of whistles and nervous laughter.

From somewhere off-stage, a blonde woman in a skin-tight latex bodysuit totters forward on platform heels that seem architecturally impossible. Her movements have that vacant, exaggerated quality of someone performing femininity as a full-time occupation. "This is Crystal," Derek says without looking at her. "She'll be managing your transformations should you need them. Wave to the contestant, Crystal."

Crystal wiggles her fingers at you, her expression vacant but not unkind. Her lips are so swollen with filler they barely close properly. "Hi Jessica!" she chirps, her voice breathy and high-pitched. "Good luck!"

"Right then," Derek continues, consulting the card in his hand with theatrical gravitas. "Let's start with something easy to warm you up. Get this right, and ten thousand dollars goes into your account. Get it wrong..." He pauses, his eyes glittering with something ugly. "Well, Crystal has been looking forward to trying out our new equipment."

The audience falls silent. You can feel the weight of the shackles on your wrists, attached to the podium by heavy chains.

"Question one," Derek announces. "In the 2023 film 'Barbie,' what is the name of the real-world corporation that manufactures Barbie dolls? Is it A: Mattel, B: Hasbro, or C: Toys R Us?"

He looks up at you, that smile never wavering. "Take your time, Jessica. Though not too much time—our audience does have homes to get back to."