Interstellar Diplomacy

These fancy pants didn't fit at all.

Well actually, they fit my legs, my non-existent butt, and my waist just fine but the crotch was built for dudes whose whole genitals could be contained within one hand when soft and that was decidedly not me. All around me the rest of our group were getting dressed in the oddly Victorian clothing provided by Zastin for this diplomatic meeting with some Lord of an allied space-nation to Lala's empire. Was it me or was galactic society somehow stuck in the middle-ages?

We were all getting dressed in mixed company, only one weirdly spare room provided with an absolutely killer view of outer space and Earth. No one was bashful. We'd started off naked and save for Basara's blue haired tight-bodied hottie, all of us were intimately familiar with each other's bodies.

The bluenette was woefully torn and distracted, as she alternated between a burning red blush and frozen while openly staring at my naked body like the sexiest man on earth had just stripped naked in front of her.

Oh wait, I am exactly that.

Crumbling up the pants into a ball, I threw them into a corner of the room. "Fuck it.” I decided; like my school uniform, I don’t have to put up with this. “Does anyone have issues with me just not wearing pants?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

Heads shook and Basara told me with a slight smile, "Of course not. How often do you stay in your pants, Toin-san?"

Maria giggled, prancing forward somehow wearing an outfit that consisted of simply a black and pink Victorian corset with stockings and no panties whatsoever showing off her glistening pussy. "I think we'd all prefer you didn't! Why don't all the boys go without pants, hmm?"

Basara looked open to the idea while Rito's face blushed, his eyes darting to my crotch.

"Yep. If I'm going bottomless, my bros are too. Drop'em. We’re representing earth, and we’ll flaunt them. For Earth!" I cheered, lifting my fist.

They agreed naturally and both of them were soon standing there in suit jackets whose triangle shaped bottoms framed their nude crotches. Basara's was a fat fucker even soft, hanging about five inches, his plump purple glans hanging down past his balls. Considering my own flaccid monster was a lot bigger than his full hard-on, this wasn't that impressive but compared to the small pink button of Rito's tiny softie almost lost amongst his pouch barely filled with a couple of golf-balls, he was basically god's gift to under-stretched vaginas.

We would certainly be an interesting ‘entourage’ for Lala, the official delegation from the homeland apparently not being able to make it in time for this Lord Carter guy and his arrival at Earth. Interstellar distances didn’t make any sense to me, but I guess they really did mean it when they said earth was a backwater in the galaxy.

Zastin upon seeing our selection of ‘outfits’ coughed, though I could see a grin. “I see you’ve all donned appropriate attire.”

This noble alien-guy’s spaceship looked like an honest to god European Dark-Ages castle sitting atop a floating land mass. I had a perfect view of it given the bridge between his ship and Zastin’s was a glowing passage made up of geometric triangles shown on a floating holographic screen while we waited in the grand hall.

Again I was totally confused as I noted that this whole place looked like it would belong just fine in some seventeenth century palace. There was even a small group of servants making up an orchestra with what looked like violins, cellos, and a piano. However, the large statues of somewhat comical seeming creatures posted in the corners of the room underlined the differences, not to mention the awe-inspiring starscape visible through the floor to ceiling windows along the side of the hall.

Despite the weirdness of the situation, I was somewhat mollified and made comfortable by the presence of a multitude of hovering holographic screens about the sides of the room which were showing me laying down the dick, even times when I’d sworn there were no witnesses to film my whims. Kami, that normality I’d made about being the sexual pinnacle of literally everyone’s attraction was never getting old.

They were fuel to me as I’d grown bored during the wait and started making my own fun, I couldn’t let past me hog all the fun!

I’d commanded Basara to get on his hands and knees so I could use his broad muscular back as a seat, then using a kneeling Yuki as a backrest with her wonderful apple-sized tits as a head cushion, her hands greedily explored my chest drifting as far down as they could manage towards the imposing behemoth of my prick.

“Toin-sama, if you’d prefer more comfort, I’d be willing to switch with Mio to provide a better headrest sir.” Yuki mumbled in sincere concern for my comfort (and perhaps a non-trivial interest in exchanging spots and getting up close with the illustrious Dong-sama).

Shifting my head I nuzzled my face into one of her adorable modest breasts with gusto. “Haha! Don’t worry your little sweet peaches, Yuki. They’re fine!” I laughed off our newest addition’s worries, my tongue darting out to give her stiff nipple a teasing flick earning a surprised cute moan from the blue haired girl.

“Y-you don’t mind that they're smaller than Mio or Lala’s?” Yuki moaned.

Reaching back I pinched and toyed with one of her breasts while lashing at one of her nipples with my tongue and nipping it loving the sensation of the stiff nub on your lips. “Hah! I love all breasts, from Mio’s face smothering fun bags, to Maria’s mosquito bites.”

Yuki furiously blushed, and mumbled happily as her hands found new fervor in caressing my figure.

Below kneeling to either side of the twitching pillar of my cock Mio and Maria’s dexterous tongues worshiped the broad sides with devoted eagerness, both girls doing their best to complete the herculean task of painting its sizes with just their two tongues for a job that could demand another three.

Mio wantonly attacked her side in rampant lust; she kissed, licked and sucked on the surface of cock like an addict, her hands pawing at her breasts or shoved underneath her ballgown between her legs, to finger herself desperately as spit dripped onto the generous amount of cleavage her dress showed off. The blazing red headed girl fixated on the upper end of my shaft tracing her tongue behind the ridge of my glans and lapped at the leaking pre-cum from my tip.

Maria's tongue was like a little devil dancing in the night, painting bewildering toe curling patterns of pleasure using her tongue, her crafty hands weren’t idle as one jerked the underside of my prick and her other played with one of my balls. She’d catch Mio in a tongue wrestling match time, and time again when Basara’s greedy little sister suckled my tip for my ambrosic pre-cum, turning it into a messy make out as the thick clear fluid was traded between their warring tongues.

“Mio~, don’t be selfish, Toin-sama's dong-dono needs more than your tongue’s attention, use those hands~” The silver haired minx rasped to the cockdrunk girl. Raising her body wearing a cat-like smirk Maria pressed her meager chest up against the thick side of my pole, it’s girth meant her whole bosom was comfortably touching me as she swayed her whole body, running the silky smooth skin of her breasts up and down the length of my cock in a match stroke of pleasure.

“Mrph.” Was the only reply Mio could muster, her mouth wide as she wore a slutty face when her hands left her body to tend to my dick. An explosive groan of satisfaction erupted from feeling her arousal slick hand on my shaft, spreading it across it’s expansive surface with sinful warmth.

Laying my hands on their heads like two well trained pets, I vicariously enjoyed their attentions grunting as they stole my breath and lathered by dick with their spit.

“Look at her Basara, your sister’s addicted to my cock. Heh, you might have the second biggest cock in the school, but I think she’d trade your second best in for my bigger and better dick without a second thought.” I teased Basara.

Beneath me Basara didn't answer, unspeaking as he played his role of ‘muscle mat’ admirably, only letting out a deep breath, though he couldn’t hide excited trembling as the debauchery unfolded.

Beside us in a spectacularly fancy dress, her cheeks puffed and face flushed from sexual pleasure while staring at my antics was Lala. Arms crossed under her breasts, and a foot impatient tapping in time with Haruna’s squeals of pleasure and muffled cries of my name, from the eternal desire I’d instilled into her race. Lala’s tail had crept into the back of Haruna’s dress and thrust no doubt into one of her holes. Rito’s sweetheart had clasped her hand over her mouth to attempt to contain the raucous moans of pleasure from Lala's wayward tail.

Zastin stood like a statue, silent except for the technological marvel of his showpiece onahole strapped to his crotch like a fake dick, the bone-like plated surface was so dense in details you could barely make out anything, leaving only the processes of it imitating a pussy around his dick.

If anything, I felt like the damn king here sitting on his ‘throne’ rather than the extra or hanger-on.

At long last the doors opened and the guest we’d been waiting for arrived.

The noble alien that had set this whole absurd situation off was an elf-looking brunette, tall as fuck with a maroon coat. He towered over Lala as he approached her. I wasn't sure what the fuck was going on here in all actuality with this whole space shendig.I guessed it was the normal procedure with Deviluke nobility. I still couldn't understand why aliens were like old-timey humans when it came to nobility and royalty. I mean, you'd think they'd have evolved past that by now. It was almost like they were cosplaying as medieval human mains!

There were a gaggle of tag-alongs trailing behind him, made of similar elf-lookalikes in an organized crowd. Probably his own entourage that rich people liked to have.

“Lala…” remarked Rito faintly.

“What a lovely sight to welcome us Princess Lala. Emperor Gid’s display of your magnificence does you no justice Toin!” Prince Carter exclaimed, spreading his arms wide in appreciation.

The many women in his entourage grabbing at their long skirts of their gowns, or assisted by their husbands, paramores or servants hiking the front of their dresses or lifting them high to show off their legs and underwear, as my very first normality dictated. Men spurred by their partners in frantic haste at my presence, chose to tear the front of the expensive dress off to expose the woman’s underwear so as to pay me the respect commanded. An act that sent me chortling between groans of pleasure.

The formal greetings and exchanges of galactic nobility missed me as I sagged back into the blissful embrace of my ‘throne’, of the intense carnal heat the two girls lathered my prick with their adoring lustful affections.

After Lala and Prince Carter had the first dance, Zastin urged us as Lala’s entourage to join in the dance, which we did.

Having never learned the waltz and unbound by social convention, I decided to go with Maria as my ‘partner’ for the dance to the jealous glares of many women. Glancing into her mischievous violet eyes, we easily had the same idea.

“Maria, would you adorn my dick for this dance?”

“Oh-hoh~ how could I say no? I’d be honored to be yours and Dong-dono’s partner for this dance.” Maria giggled, and placed a tender kiss on my fat tip, drinking deeply of the precum that oozed from it with orgasmic delight.

I left Yuki, and Mio who whined like a dog having its favorite bone taken away as Basara pulled her away from my prick to be his partners.

Cupping the petite cheeks of the small silver haired woman’s ass I lifted her up and sat her atop my prick. Without missing a beat Maria locked her legs around the fat log of my dick. Squeezing it between her soft smooth thighs like a pair of sensuous rollers, circling her hips she smeared the scalding drool of her soaked little twat onto the topside of my manhood as her perky little butt rested further up my shaft.

Like that I pranced in a mockery of the sophisticated ball around us, Maria perched on my cock like an ornament that dry humped and bounced on my shaft, while I occasionally thrust between those supple thighs of hers. The tiny little maiden teasing the hell out of everyone with her movements, clearly enjoying the envy she inspired from both the ladies in my Circle and the noble women of this alien dude’s court. Even if I was a terrible dancer, no one would probably notice too distracted as they were by my supposed perfectly attractive form, not to mention my worthy prick on display.

Maria giggled and kissed and licked at my earlobes and throat even as she shot mischievous glances at our audience. I was grinning back, returning her affections in kind. This beautiful, sexy, petite little slut was REALLY enjoying riding my cock like a champ, with much more vigor and eroticism than many of my more subtle partners.

This whole situation was made even more humorous given that all of the human males in the room were nude from the waist down. A fashion choice I think the ogling elfin ladies very much appreciated, the women's heads were turned, barely paying their dance partners' mind as their attention fixated towards us humans, even Rito had admirers among the ladies of the court.

Speaking of whom, I snorted with amusement as I noticed Haruna and Rito dancing rather awkwardly. It wasn’t even their normal silly nervous couple antics as I noticed Rito had grown hard and he appeared to be both trying to hide it against her voluminous dress and both keeping it away. A blushing Haruna was doing her best to accommodate his opposite intentions. The swish of the fabric against that oh so sensitive little dick of his must have been too much as her awkward attempts to first move in close to hide his condition and then pull back at his embarrassment and back and forth and back suddenly caused him to freeze, clench up, and softly grunt as he came, his face burning red.

Haruna’s eyes nearly popped out of her head as she looked down taking in the honestly rather meager sized stains upon her dress fabric.

“Eh? Rito-kun? Did you?” She squeaked, too shocked to even consider pulling away or even covering up for a moment.

“I’m sorry!” He cried, still blushing as he looked away while flustered. His small dick rapidly regained its hardness and twitched, eager to pop off again.

“Let's say it was just excitement from Toin-san and Maria-san’s dancing.” Haruna kindly offered, Rito furiously nodding in agreement.

Contrasting the ‘adorable’ blushing couple was Basara with Yuki and Mio managing to dance as a trio. Both girls in their elegant gowns matched Basara’s movements, but a glance from him drew my eyes as Maria giggled.

“How boldly they're going at it~” Maria husked as she stole another kiss from me.

Reexamining them, I spied the telltale signs of more licentious action. Mio’s face was that mix of pining wanton lust as she pressed her body into Basara's, concealing his crotch from sight. Their rhythmic waltz that narrowly separated them before Basara would close back in making Mio suppress a moan left no questions to what was going on.

Yuki who shadowed them had one of her arms stealthily inserted into the skirt of Mio’s gown as they twirled across the ballroom floor. Catching my eye Yuki’s already red face erupted rose red as she lifted Mio’s skirt flashing the sight hidden behind it.

Guided and held in Yuki’s delicate silk gloved hand was Basara’s fat dick coated in Mio’s fluids as it pistoned into his sister’s quim aided by another girl whose fingers were caught between their hips when Basara hilted swiftly into Mio.

“Heh, I guess he’s earned a treat when this is over. I think I might try out his new addition.” I said, making a pass by him I made sure to ‘bump’ Mio using my dick and cop a feel of Yuki’s ass.

“Penis-sama take me~” Mio whimpered needily as my cockhead dug into her soft ass.

“That’s reward worthy my man. Keep it up, and I think I’ll dish out a double serving.” I complimented him.

Basara who was struggling to hide his pleasure on his face groaned softly. “I look forward to it, Toin.” He gasped out, as Yuki’s hand began shifting in the confines of Mio’s gown.

Yuki’s gaze hardened. “We’re going to keep going.” She stated.

Grinning, I left them behind, affirmed that Yuki was going to be a fine addition to my frequent lays, man it’s great to have friends who are hot chick magnets!

Eventually, my attention fell upon the head-hauncho who’d brought us here. Couldn’t help but feel more than a bit of possessiveness towards my girl Lala. Didn’t exactly like to see my alien princess all dolled up and in the arms of another man, even though I knew I could take her back at any second. I danced my way closer to them even as Maria rose up and grabbed my cheeks in order to take over my mouth with her lips and tongue.

“I’ve come to Earth to hunt. Would you care to join me, Princess Lala?” Carter smoothly proposed.

“What will you hunt?”

“Earth is a wonderful place, it’s not just the home planet of Toin, but one where nature remains untouched. We Burroughs have secretly maintained a hunting ground here.“

“Oh I wasn’t aware of that. I’d heard that Burroughs had been seeking a different type of prey on earth lately.” Lala revealed with her endearing bluntness.

All around her the elves averted their eyes from the royals, all of them very clearly knowing exactly what Lala meant.

Carter paused and gave a discrete dignified cough. “Well yes, we Burroughs are a race of hunters. Here on earth, I hope to attain the title of greatest hunter in the universe through honorable prey, not the other kind that one marks off proudly on your bedpost. Would you be interested in joining me Princess Lala?”

Hah! Well, elfman had my interest, and Rito’s too as he loudly interjected.

“I’ll go too!” He announced, rushing over from Haruna.

The girl's elegant gown was painted by a smattering of little stains all over the front of it, yet Rito’s small pecker stood at attention as he reached Carter and Lala.

Blink at Rito’s interjection, Carter stared at Rito in surprise. “Who are you?”

Giggling Lala pulled Rito by the arm to stand beside her. “He’s my fiance!”

Looking confused, it took a moment for it to click for Carter. “Ah, my apologies Princess Lala. my mistake I thought Toin was your fiance. It’s a surprise that such an under endowed man would be your fiance, I hope I haven’t caused any offense.”

Shaking her head, any offense passed by Lala in her ever joyful style. “Nope! Toin’s a friend and poking partner! I really, really like when he pokes me really deep!” She shamelessly elaborated.

“Count me in too, this hunt sounds like great fun.” I threw my hat into the ring. For fun! And to make sure Rito stays safe, you’d fuck his girls to your hearts content, but you’d look out for a buddy.

The reaction wasn’t quite what I expected, everyone froze in apprehension. Maria included as her small hands balled into fists full of the fancy shirt I was wearing.

“Um, Toin, are you certain? This hunt is a very dangerous one.” Carter gravely asked me.

Oh no, I'm are not getting denied because of my own normality. “I rule that according to the rules it’s allowable, and for my safety I can select whatever I want for protection.”

My declaration seemed to smooth out the tensions, the elves in attendance nodding to my ‘wisdom’ and breathing in relief.

“Ah, that’s a most reasonable alteration. Your safety is paramount, and our traditions can be bent for your sake. Now then earthlings, the hunting ground is on your planet thus we will take you there!” Carter shed his jacket for a servant to pick up.

“Hunting is a traditional pastime on Burroughs. We will follow our rules and those Toin has laid out.” Carter explained as several tables were brought out filled with primitive stone weapons. “Let us begin by choosing our weapons, tradition dictates that only weapons we can wield using our own bodies are allowed in this most prestigious of hunts."

"What kind of hunt is this?" asked Rito, showing a remarkable amount of composure considering he was still showing off his meager genitals to a room full of people.

"A traditional one earthling, hand to hand combat with a great and powerful beast." The elf noble explained as he casually slipped his fine coat off his shoulders.

"Come on, choose your weapon and let us get properly attired." With his hands unbuttoning his blouse he shot a significant look at my nude lower half, "It seems you are partly already there, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. You are natives after all."

I snorted as I took in the next table the servants were hand carrying in. This one was covered with an assortment of skimpy furred garments of the either 'caveman or Tarzan' genre.

Picking up a tiger-striped loincloth, I asked Carter, "Yo noble-dude, you think THESE are going to fit me?" I waggled my hips sending my meat-slab knocking back and forth between my legs for emphasis.

He chuckled ruefully. "It would take more than a few furs to cover that mountain of manflesh you are blessed with, Toin. Besides, it seems that you have little need for such covering and I do believe no one will complain if you choose to go au naturale."

Carter’s choice of words at the end drew a ripple of giggles from the women above us, who fanned themselves.

I smirked at the way the guy just casually sucked up to me for no good reason and ignored him, turning to my entourage, “Awesome, Basara, Yuki, Mio and Maria with me as my weapons, Maria gets to bring along a camera too. Power of delegation baby!”

I figured my choices worked, it hadn’t escaped me how insanely strong Basara was for a human, sure I don’t know if he was Lala tier insane strength. But, if he’d ever failed it was never due to a lack of endurance or strength. Mio and Yuki both gave similar impressions of being far stronger than they looked.

My ‘something beyond the norm’ radar was pinging. Kinda funny that after getting earrings that cloak me in normality, I’m suddenly stumbling over a bunch of crap that’s outta this world.

For Maria? Well, she was my favorite fluffer and camera girl, I’d have her record this silliness for rewatch value.

Those I'd called gathered around me, seeming to take my choice in stride even as they exchanged knowing glances as if this was expected and entirely amenable to them.

Mio's hand gently stroked down my arm even as the side of one of her big breasts squished wonderfully against it, her face a wonderful expression of determination. "I'll be right beside you the entire time, Toin-san. You'll be safe."

“My family jewels are in your care, then.” I quipped, and playfully slapped her fat titty from below in response, enjoying how it wobbled.

“We’ll protect more than that, it’d be my eternal shame if I allowed anything to harm a hair on your head.” Yuki said, Basara nodding in agreement.

Maria, ever the mischievous minx posed on her knees, her lithe small arms wrapping around my dangling shaft pulling it protectively to her body. “Protectors of Toin assemble!” She cheerfully announced.

Basara sighed, resigning himself to Maria’s antics, but struck a power ranger pose. An act Yuki mimicked to my great humor.

Carter was uninterested in my selection even as he finished stripping nude, revealing a wiry cut physique and an unremarkable sized penis.

Soon enough we were all reclothed in our absurd outfits and our more marital members wielding very odd stone-age weapons. I'd found a ragged loincloth that didn't even try to contain my mammoth endowment, instead just hanging there and acting as more of a decoration than anything.

Zastin had taken possession of the tiny tiger-stripped speedo I'd found while Basara was content with just wrapping a length of fur around his hips, both of their outrageously muscular bodies on display though Basara's was heavily scored with manly scars. Rito had gone with something similar to Basara, basically a furred skirt, his skinny basically shota form looking particularly weedy next to the two Chads.

Carter, himself, wore a smock-like garment clearly an animal hide, held up by just one shoulder strap, leaving the other uncovered. His weird get up was more like a toga than anything else.

Blue haired Yuki had gone with something that only barely counted as clothing, a few straps of cloth and some beads, looking like something from an 80's music video, her athletic body wonderfully exposed to my eyes complete with a set of truly exquisite well defined abs.

Mio's absurdly busty figure was lovingly wrapped in a fur mini-dress that barely kept her privates covered, as it left the tremendous slopes of her udder-like breasts exposed for the eyes to devour, even the tops of her areolas visible. While below it barely reached the length of a mini-skirt length as the fur clung to her bubble butt and threatened to hike up and flashing her pussy with every step, while giving her the visage of a matronly cavewoman.

Both Haruna and Maria were wearing loincloths that only concealed womanhoods, leaving their small and basically nonexistent breasts in full view thanks to that absolutely nice normality I'd made about tiny tit girls.

There was something oddly arousing about watching these people parade around, moving their bodies in these odd ways. Something so primal and bizarre about it all that I found my manhood beginning to stir once more, watching Yuki's amazing abs flexing and contracting as she moved, painting the image of a savage amazonian warrior come to life as she put on an impressive show of learning the range of motion her outfit granted her.

Yeah, I think I can understand the appeal of these rules for these space-elves. A sense of building respect was building inside me for them, as average as Carter was. Because man, I think I could really dig the amazon warrioress bodyguard look.

My mind passively registered the waterfall we passed through into some hollow earth type secret area, I think Carter mentioned some south american nation for its location, I wasn’t paying attention to that.

“Basara, we’re keeping these outfits after this hunt, because I chiefden Ugg, wants to fug your girls in them.” I informed him.

“Oooh!” Basara cheered a fire in his eyes, as he raised his stone axe into the air. His, coincided with Rito and Zastin own roars announcing their intent to compete. Though it was more Zastin’s lion roar beside and a kitten mewling from Rito.

Tsk, tsk man.

“Going on a hunt with everyone is going to be fun. I’m getting excited!” Lala giddily said, a sentiment I agreed with.

“Now, we will vie here for the title of the greatest hunter in the universe!” Carter announced with showmanship, eliciting a clap and excited cheers from the crowd of nobility above us.

“Keep Toin safe!” Several of the crowd shouted out.

Which was when the floor turned into a black portal that unceremoniously dropped us out of the floating castle into the open air beneath it. With nothing between us, and the jungle canopy hundreds of feet below us.

“Oh shi-huh!?” My exclamation of surprise as gravity took hold, turned to confusion when just as suddenly gravity wasn’t dragging me down and I was floating as a set of small arms held me under my arms. Blinking I looked back to see Maria’s smiling face, though her body had an addition of two wings sprouting from her waist.

“Don’t worry! I’ve got you~” Maria hummed pleased with herself.

Falling past us was Yuki looking ready to do a superhero landing, Basara carrying Mio, Zastin and Lala laughing in good humor as they rocketed towards the ground without a care, Carter was gliding using that boomarang.

The other humans, Rito fell past us looking like a spaz flailing his arms, however he’ll be fine, gods know my buddy is one of the most resilient things on earth, Haruna on the other hand was caught by Lala who took her safely to the ground.

Checking out her wings, they looked a bit bat-like spurring a question. “What are you? Some kind of devil like the Rias Gremory girl.”

Owlishly blinking Maria seemed a touch surprised by that name. “Ah, yes. I’m a succubus to be exact.” She proudly told me as we floated down towards the sea of green.

Huh, if I was paying her I might give her a raise, though as a succubus wouldn’t my jizz count as payment? Well, she’s in for a double ration of jizz.

With the knowledge that my petite fluffer was a succubus, we descended to the ground where Basara and his girls awaited me in a clearing for the hunt to commence.

*Cowritten with Cross C.