Inspecting the goods

Matt awoke, feeling like he had the worst hangover in his life. He sat up and realised, this was not his apartment. He was in a small room no more than 8ft by 8ft with no features, and the floor was hard and cool. He was sore from lying on it. He noticed a small camera like object in the corner, and his immediate thought was he had a run in with the law and had landed himself in a police cell.

He initially panicked for a second, before he heard a hiss, and a doorway that had been concealed emerged, opening. Matt took that as an invite to walk out. He got to his feet and walked out to a larger room and could not believe his eyes. He was on an observation deck, and the earth was below him. He couldn’t believe it, rubbing his eyes. He walked to the edge to look over. Awestruck he thought this must be a prank the guys had pulled, he just couldn’t figure out how. He turned to see what looked like two stormtroopers from starwars facing him and recoiled. They didn’t move, keeping their distance from him.

A voice announced itself from above; Pal was keen to communicate with this specimen not just to refine his process and systems, but also to learn more about these creatures. He often thought of them as more pets than slaves, and was slightly disheartened the leaderships main priority was enslavement and making sure the machines could deal with these men rather than trying to learn about them and work with them in a more collaborative way, but everyone has to make a living, so that would have to wait for another day, there was a male to be processed.

“Welcome human, please do not be afraid, we do not intend to harm you”.

“This has to be a joke”

“I can assure you this is not a joke. Please make your way to the platform and stand between the two pillars”

“I’ll do no such thing”

“Please comply or the sentries will escort you there”

Matt finally saw the voice was coming from a small tennis ball sized orb floating in mid air above him, with a lens clearly studying him.

“I’m not afraid of these goons”

The stormtrooper like looking robots advanced on Matt, cornering him. He tried to fend one off with his arm but it caught it in a vice like grip. The other grabbed his other arm and together they **** him towards the platform; an arm in each arm; and one with a grip on his neck and the other an arm around his trunk. He was no match at all for these bots, thinking he could easily hand them off initially. He struggled as best he could but it was clear the robots would get their way. Once they reached the middle of the platform, openings emerged from various points in the pillars, steel tendrils the thickness of a brush staff emerging, encircling his wrists and just above his ankles under the cuffs of his jeans. His robotic sentry friends let go of him and stepped to the edge of the platform. He attempted to give chase but immediately the tendrils began to recoil, stretching his legs and arms into an X position, ensuring there was no give at all for him move.

Chuckling Pal commented “Enjoying the prank then?”

“OK I see this is not a prank, what do you want with me, can you probe me and get it over with?”

“My dear boy, don’t be so naïve – We are well beyond understanding your anatomy! You are a trailblazer, our first earthling. My name is Pal, I designed this facility and the process you’re about to go through, so I’m keen to see how successful we are at processing you in a safe and secure manner, and find out how you receive it“

“I really don’t think I’m going to enjoy this”

“Nonsense! Let’s get started”

Matt heard a humming noise and two objects the size and shape of basketballs emerged from the platform, hovering just above his face, before moving to his sides. They emitted a blue lazer and began sliding up his torso from his waist to his underams, the fabric of his t-shirt cleanly ripped where the lazer had been. The balls repositioned above beside his head, slicing through the fabric at his shoulder blades”

“Hey, that’s an expensive t-shirt!”

“Don’t worry boy, you won’t be needing it again”

“Stop cutting up my clothes you fuckers!”

The objects having now cut the t-shirt from his body, turned to his shoes and sliced them end to end, with a small robot on the floor now hoovering the scrap fabric up. Socks following in a similar manner. Matt looked hesitant, he knew what was coming next.

“Hey don’t even think about it you perverts!”

“We can’t make our assessments of you with these coverings on”

The objects reverted back to his waist and sliced through his jeans and belt at his sides from waist to toe, the small robot pulling them from between to leave him standing in his white calvins. Matt foolishly thought they may relent here, but to no avail. The boxer briefs were sliced per the remaining garments and fell off. One ball returned to the platform, the other made a beeline for his left wrist, slicing the strap of his watch, which fell to the ground to be swept away by the roaming cleaning device below, before it disappeared too, along with the ball. His angered turned to worry, the removal of his watch giving him concern at what fate awaited him.

“May I say, you have an excellent form for your kind. We made a good choice for our inaugural earthman”

Matt quickly returned to anger “What do you want from me?”

“Our race has searched the galaxy and found your race to be of great value to us, specifically you human males. Your bodies are accustomed for manual labour, but the real treasure lies between your legs. The fluid produced in your reproduction process is extremely valuable to us”

“Let me go! I am not a **** or a resource, I am a man!”

“Oh but you are, although I don’t see it in such crude terms, you’re merely being extracted for our colony. We don’t intend to hurt you in any way”

“I don’t care, take me back to earth!” he exclaimed, yanking at his restraints which were showing no budge at all.

“You’ll see, there is nothing to be afraid of”

More devices emerged, and scanned him from head to toe, front and back, before approaching his cock and balls, scanning them again in more detail.

The platform announced “SPECIMEN MEETS INITIAL REQUIREMENTS. DEPILATION AND DECONTAMINATION WILL BE REQUIRED AHEAD OF DETAILED EXAMINATION”

“Great news boy, we can proceed”

“You’re not shaving my pubes, I already groom myself to a reasonable standard I think you’ll find!”

“Partially correct. We’ll be depilating, and we’ll be doing more than just your pubes. Armpits, butt, that light dusting on your chest and that little trail from your navel to your penis will all need to go”

“Why?”

“It is better for your hygiene boy. We’re going to be here a long time if I have to explain basic science to you!”

“My body hair doesn’t make a difference to my hygiene and you started it by abducting me, manhandling me, stripping me naked and now saying you’re going to mess with my body hair!”

“That is true, I suppose we owe you something, but I will also question you as well as you question me, there is a lot more I’d like to understand about your kind; also your body will be more easily kept clean and odourless when hairless, especially given the planned density levels in the colonies and close quarters you will be housed in”

“Fine, I suppose we have a Deal then”, Matt begrudgingly responded, now having calmed down and accepted that he wasn’t going to be getting his own way with Pal or his machine anytime soon.