In the morning

You wake up on the couch, snack wrappers, wine bottles… you’re a mess. There’s a little hangover too, but that’s normal after a night like that. You groan and get up. If you were single, you could lie around and sleep in, but you have no idea when Rita’s coming home. When she gets here, she is not going to find you and the couch looking like a mess.

Yawning, you shuffle into the kitchen and drink a glass of water. Your body feels tense and warm. You remember the wine getting to you last night. You felt weird but intense. Usually on a night like that, masturbating once would be plenty. Last night you just couldn’t get enough of that vibe. You got yourself off at least three times and even got a little noisy on one of them. You don’t usually do that. After all that, your body should be relaxed. Right?

Weird. You put your empty glass down and drop your robe, yawning again and tossing your hair out of your face as you go into the bathroom. You push your panties down and kick them off, then sit on the toilet. That’s when you know that something’s wrong.

You look down in puzzlement at the thing between your legs.

You don’t scream or panic or anything because you are not a cartoon character.

“What the fuck,” you mutter, staring at it. You’ve seen and… interacted with enough dicks to no one when you see one.

You stand back up and get in front of the mirror, grabbing it and looking it over.

Touching it was a mistake. You gasp. That felt really good.