In the castle

Before River progressed through the castle, she deposited her prisoner within a storage cupboard. “Dnnnnmm mmeeephf mm!” “Oh don’t worry, I’m sure someone will come by and get you out.” The thought of one of her fellow fictional constructs finding her like this made Barbarella thrash about even more violently. River quickly closed the door, this situation was the very definition of ‘never meet your heroes.’

River then turned her attention to the castle itself, the hallways didn’t have the musty, medieval architecture like you would expect, but rather the hallways were incredibly modern, with a stark white colour scheme and a more blocky, rectangular design. And as she walked through, she entered a room with large computer banks and machinery. River however, ignored the blinking lights and ticker tape devices, and instead began posing in front of a large mirror, and admiring Barbarella’s costume. It seemed to compliment her figure greatly, although she was still unsure about whether her visible boobs clashed with the black leotard. “Nah, I’m the new black,” River reassured herself, “Anything and anyone looks better with me.”

The sharp click of a tv brought River back to reality and she turned to look at what seemed to be a projector screen. She was greeted by the sight of her husband and his companion Zoe trying to convince themselves that the Minotaur standing in front of them wasn’t real. That seemed about right for this world, she thought. River then turned on another monitor which showed the Doctor’s other companion, Jamie, climbing up a mountain side to avoid a giant toy soldier.

Wait, that wasn’t just any old mountain side. River quickly moved over to a nearby window and looked down, and sure enough there was a figure with a recognisable tartan kilt climbing up in the distance. This wasn’t good, the Doctor and company were heading here, she couldn’t let them meet her, she needed out of this realm and fast, or risk disrupting the timelines. In her state of panic she darted through a nearby doorway without looking and triggered a motion sensitive alarm. And within mere seconds, a pair of bulky and imposing robots cornered her. “Ah at last, I was wondering when some guards would show up. Let’s just forego the formalities and take me to your master if you’d please.” The robots Then led her down the hallway and further into the centre of this madhouse.

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Meanwhile, Barbarella flopped out of her storage cupboard. Her arms and legs were still tied and so she was **** to wriggle on her chest like a depressing little worm. A pair of boots then materialised in front of her and interrupted her snail like speed, she looked up to find a tall and imposing man in a mask. He wore a cape but had no shirt, boasting his impressively muscled physique, he was the Karkus, a famous comics character from the late 21st century. “You from an episode of prisoner/guard swap then?” He snarkily remarked. With her gag still in place, Barbarella could only give an exasperated sigh at his rhetorical question. She then moved her arms and feet in a way so as to draw attention to them, he was here after all, she might as well get his help. The Karkus obliged, but kept a firm gaze on her jiggling behind.

Once her limbs were freed, Barbarella sprung up and pulled her gag off. She also felt the Karkus’ objectifying stare upon her and she turned to face him. “Well I hope you enjoyed the view,” she said through gritted teeth, “now get lost and go find yourself some prisoners if you want in on some of the fun.” She was about to turn back down the hallway when the Karkus grabbed her wrist. “The Master wanted me to tell you that he’s already caught your prisoner.” “Oh,” sighed Barbarella. “But he’s also given you a typewriter room, you apparently know what to do then?” Barbarella only answered with a wicked grin, and she then dashed off down the halls with haste.