In Claire's thoughts

Claire was in bed drifting off to sleep when she heard the phone ring, jolting her awake. She’d never heard the landline ring since she’d returned from college, but since she’s told her friends her mobile was out of action, she reasoned it was probably for her. She grumbled, wiped the sleep from her eye and went to receive it.

On reaching the phone however, she found John’s name on the caller ID. He had gone out earlier that evening, saying he was going to hang with some friends. She’d figured he must have been sleeping at a friend’s house, being out so late.

“Hello?”

“Um, hey. Is this Claire?” The voice on the other end however wasn’t the one Claire expected to hear from her brother’s number.

“I am. Who is this?”

“Hey, I’m one of John’s friends. He’s here with me at the moment, but he’s had a bit much to drink. You mind coming to pick him up?”

Claire was surprised to hear that. It hadn’t even occurred to her that he might be out drinking. John really wasn’t the type to get wasted two nights in a row. Thinking back on it, he had started acting weirdly as the day went on. She had a pretty good idea what had prompted it, but with all the weirdness going on in their lives, it might have been any number of things stressing her brother out.

Claire sighed. It was around eleven o’clock now. It would be well into the night before she could get John home and she was already tired. She had been trying to do nice things for her brother of late, but this was more than a mild inconvenience. On the other hand, Claire had vague memories of him walking her home last night when she was too drunk to walk straight. She didn’t remember much of it, but she did recall the feeling of warmth tucked under his arm as he kept her safe. She really did owe him that in return.

“Alright, I’ll be there soon. Where are you guys at?”

Claire noted down the address the boy gave her. It wasn’t too far away. Just on the other side of the park, closer than Nick’s house had been. She considered taking her mom’s car around to pick him up, but it would be way too much of a hassle if John threw up in it. The walk would help sober John up before he got back too.

Claire quickly got changed to go out, grabbing clothes from the laundry pile. There was no point in putting on fresh clothes for a quick trip out just to have John be sick down them. She kept the camisole she had on and slipped into a skirt and leggings. The night was still hot from the ongoing heatwave, and she didn’t want to work up a sweat right before bed wearing anything heavier. She hadn’t gone to bed with a bra on and she had no intention of putting one back on now either. She quickly scribbled a note to tell Lilith where she’d gone before she left.

The walk out was uneventful. Claire didn’t see anyone about on the way over, and she might have considered it a pleasant walk if she wasn’t so worn out. She wasn’t particularly in the mood for it now though. It did give her plenty of time alone with her thoughts, and so her mind inevitably drifted back to the event that had been weighing on her mind throughout the day – masturbating with her brother.

The whole affair had undoubtedly left John feeling quite awkward. That was perfectly clear from the look on his face the next time she’d seen him. It certainly hadn’t helped the abrupt way she’d ran out on him at the end. He probably thought that she regretted what they did. That wasn’t why she’d left though. She wasn’t teeming with delight at what they’d done of course; she knew it was weird to masturbate with her brother. She’d been thinking about it since the meeting with the Doctor however, and even now she felt justified that it was something that they had to do together.

Back when they had first started sharing a room, Claire had told her brother she’d give him space whenever he needed to take care of his needs. That had been before she found out just how often that would be, locking her out of her bedroom for hours out of the day. She understood he had to do it, but that didn’t make it any less annoying when she’d have to wait around all the time whenever she needed to be in there. And now that she also needed to indulge in it herself several times a day, she had realised it was going to be such a major inconvenience for them both having to schedule out the room between themselves across most of the day.

More than that, Claire felt like something of a rift was starting to form between her and John since she’d gotten back. Perhaps he wasn’t even aware of it, but she certainly felt it. They had both become so hesitant to be open with each other. Their respective therapies were placing such heavy sexual emphasis on their lives, and neither of them were comfortable to involve the other in that kind of business. The doctor had suggested that they needed to support each other throughout their treatment, but it made her cringe to think about opening up with John about anything sexual, and she was sure he must have felt the same way.

That was why they needed something to break the ice that was forming between them. Claire’s relationship with her brother was the single most important thing in the world to her. Throughout most of her life, she would have considered him her best friend, and through parts of it her only friend. He was always the one to hold her up when things got tough. This therapy might have simply been a rough bout of turbulence in their relationship but waiting it out until the end ran the risk of forming a permanent wedge between them, and Claire could not risk that by any means. Their relationship would have to adapt so they could support each other through this part of their lives.

That was also why she’d brought John with her to the party, and asked Jody to have him play Truth and Dare with them – to have them both start to open up with each other more and get back in touch with each other. Of course, thanks to Jody, things had gone further than she was comfortable with even a few drinks in, but overall she felt the night had been a good development for both of them.

Claire hadn’t been expecting Riley to take such a liking to her brother either. It was cute. She was happy to fully support it if something were to blossom between them. Riley was totally John’s type, in both her figure and personality, and she knew he would treat her friend right. John already seemed to have something going on with Annie, but he didn’t seem to have seriously committed to it yet. Claire wanted both girls to be happy, so she would be fine with whichever side her brother chose. As his sister, it was her duty to make sure he stuck the landing with one of them. She would have to figure out which way his heart leaned then push him towards making that commitment. John was too clueless and timid to do it on his own.

Having gone over her reasoning again as she walked, Claire was still sure she had made the right choice in introducing that intimacy with her brother. If they could allow themselves to become comfortable masturbating, watching porn and sharing their sexual interests with each other, it would be enough for them to feel comfortable to support each other with the issues they were going through and not feel alienated from one another. There was nothing wrong with it as long as there was no incestuous intent behind it. The world was becoming more sexually liberal, and it wasn’t unheard of for college students to masturbate together without feelings involved. In fact, the reason Claire was so confident the idea would work was because she had already practiced it with her own friends.

Claire wasn’t clear exactly how it started, but the first time had been on a sleepover. On the back of a previous conversation the girls had about what turned them all on, somehow porn ended up on the big screen, perhaps as a demonstration or a joke. Thanks to a mix of booze and hormones, none of the girls objected to it though. On the contrary, all of the friends ended up getting into it despite each other’s presence. Something about it had felt so comfortable. Comfortable enough that they ended up repeating it on their next sleepover.

From then on, when the mood was right, watching porn together became a normal part of their get-togethers, natural as watching a movie. They’d slip under the blankets and take it in turns to offer up something erotic to view together. Whether it was one of Claire’s big-tits bukkake vids, Jody’s stepsibling affairs, Beth’s bondage, Riley’s **** face fucking or something new to explore and figure out what got them going. In a judgement-free zone, they had learned so much about themselves and each other. It was undeniable that masturbating together had given them stronger and more intimate relationships.

Yet not once did Claire feel these joint moments of intimacy crossed any kind of line. It never amounted to anything close to sex, never approached any action that may have challenged her sexuality. Even watching intense acts of lesbian passion with her friends was not the same as engaging in those same acts with them. So, Claire could be certain that doing the same with her brother was not ****. And thus, though it may make them squeamish to think about it at first, their sibling bond could only stand to grow stronger from the experience.

In fact, Claire was already grateful for the experience they had shared. When John had said he would support her no matter what if she ever needed to figure out her sexuality, it had truly touched her heart. It was a level of love and support she hadn’t known she could receive from him. It made her glad she’d gone through with confiding sexual matters in him and eager to do so further, and it never would have happened within the bounds of a regular sibling relationship. So Claire could never be upset about what had happened. Yes, she had made him touch her body and he had cum on her waist, but such things were bound to happen in the throws of orgasm. She couldn’t blame herself or John for that. No, what had made her flee so abruptly at the end was much sillier of a reason.

When she'd turned to John at the end with his cum dripping down her thigh and his handprint impressed upon her breast, she had felt a lightness in her head, a catch in her breath and she had heard her heart thumping in her chest. For just a brief moment, Claire thought she was in love. It was ridiculous of course. What she was feeling was the afterglow of her orgasm, alongside the fuzzy warmth she had gotten from his earlier words. But for a brief moment Claire thought she had fallen in love with her brother, and she panicked. She needed to get away from him to think about what she was feeling, and thanks to that John surely thought she regretted the entire situation. She would have to make it clear she didn’t next time.

It was a big change, she had to admit, but with a few more attempts to get over the shock of doing something so intimate together, Claire was sure the pair of them could grow to accept it. They could masturbate or get changed while the other went about their business, because they would be comfortable enough with each other to know that nothing indecent was taking place. It would free up so much time of her day. And they would be able to share and support each other through their sexual hang-ups throughout their therapy and beyond. What Claire had set in motion would forever change her relationship with her brother, but she was feeling entirely optimistic.

Claire was broken from her reverie by the sound of distant conversation growing louder. Forty minutes since she’d left her house, she was coming up on the house that John was supposedly at. Seeing small groups of smokers hanging around outside the front door confirmed she was in the right place. She had hoped that John would be waiting outside the front for her to pick him up, but she couldn’t see him anyway. Claire hated the thought of dealing with drunk partygoers while she was sober, but without her phone to text John she didn’t have a choice. With a heavy sigh, she steeled herself and headed for the door.