I wake up with a headache and a strange weight on my chest.

When my consciousness returns, all I can feel is a splitting headache coming straight from my temples, and I frown, my eyes still shut tight. Good heavens, is it too much to ask for a single moment when I'm not miserable or in pain?

Moments later, the constant rumble filling my ears gets interrupted by a few broken noises.

"...Tami....... -ake-............ -ika? Ple-........"

"Sho-................... an......-lance?"

What's this? They sound kinda like... female voices? But I can't get what they're saying. It's as if I was submerged in a pool and they were talking to me from the outside.

"Hmmmrrrmmgh...." I grumble, suddenly very aware of the streetlight shining through my closed eyelids, and I sluggishly raise a forearm, resting it over my face to block the light.

"Tamika! ......-you awa-...........feeling.......-ne?"

"Oh, Tami! .....-nk god!"

The voices are clearer now. And they sound rather familiar...
...wait, what's this?
As the sensations return, I wiggle my toes, and I feel them pushing against some kind of light platform, mostly uncovered. It's as if I was wearing sandals... But I don't remember wearing sandals.
I smile despite myself. And that's when I feel a delicate touch over my left (naked?) shoulder.

"Tami... Are you alright?" Asks the woman, most likely the one who's touching me. And this time I hear her loud and clear. I get she's talking to me, but who the hell is Tami?

I take my forearm off my face and blink a few times. It takes a while until my eyes focus enough that I can somehow distinguish what's in front of me.

"......huh..?"

Apparently, I'm lying on the street, face up; which is weird, because I remember falling forward... or maybe not? I'm not sure anymore. My head is still spinning so badly my memory might just be playing tricks.

And the fact that the petite Asian girl is enthusiastically shaking my shoulder while grating my ears with her squeaky voice isn't helping me clear my thoughts.

"Look, Marcia, look! Tamika is awake! She's really awake! See? She just opened her eyes-" She pipes up to the blonde woman next to her.

"..sigh... Yeah, I can see that, Sam." The blonde woman says to her friend, sounding mildly irritated. "Now will you cut that off? You're not supposed to shake people who just passed out."

The Asian girl practically jumps in realization and immediately takes her hand off my shoulder.

"Oh yeah! You're right Marcia. S-Sorry, Tami." She adds, looking straight into my eyes.

'Tami' again. Why does she keep calling me that? And what's up with these chicks, looking all worried about me when just before they'd treated me like a stain on the floor? I don't understand what's their deal.
But the biggest mystery is this odd feeling that keeps growing on me. I can't quite explain it or even understand it with all this drunkenness smothering my senses; but it's as if my whole body was completely and utterly out of place. Just what is going on?!

While I keep thinking to myself, my vision finally clears out, allowing me to distinguish the finer details. But what I see right before my eyes doesn't make any sense.

There is a mountain- no, two mountains of smooth dark skin, raising beneath my chin. No way. No fucking way.
I blink, hard, trying to clear the fog or whatever visual obstacle that just produced this obvious hallucination. And it doesn't work. These freaky mounds are still there.
And the worst part is... that I think I can kinda feel them, weighing on my chest as if they were actually real.

"Oh, look at her. Poor Tami, she looks so dazed..." Says the Asian girl, her little voice full of pity.

"Honestly, she should've listened to me when I told her not to accept any drinks from Stephan. Connie told me he always puts weird shit in them." The haughty blonde puffs at her own words. "And now look at her, crumbling like a house of cards."

"Wait, you're saying Stephan really put something in Tami's drink?" The petite girl gasped, covering her mouth in alarm.

"Positive. How can you explain this otherwise? Tami didn't have more drinks than you or me; and yet..." The blonde sighed and shook her head. "Stephan is such an asshole."

"He's soo hot though." The Asian chick giggles in response.

"Yeah well, still an asshole; and this time he's gone too far."

I watch them chattering with each other in a state of absolute bewilderment. It's like they're in their own little world of chicks and drinks and hot guys; and I've got the feeling that I am somehow part of their conversation. But that doesn't make any sense. Nothing does. Starting with this 'landscape' right below my chin.
So I take the obvious next step, which is to raise my left hand and try to touch whatever this is.

*grab*

...Huh?

*squeeze*

Huuuuuuuhhhh?!

The sensation is soft, warm, and it yields under my touch. But what makes this more disturbingly real is that the pressure of my own fingertips registers twice at once: once through my fingers, and again through the warm flesh beneath them. A strange, intimate little feedback loop that shoots straight through the fog in my head and leaves me suddenly, horribly awake. There is no doubt now. I know what these are.

"...Why do I have these big boobs?" I finally ask aloud. And when I hear the sound of my own voice, my throat seizes and a layer of cold sweat starts forming over my forehead.

The two ladies exchange a glance and break into giggles.

"Really? Are you showing off now? Come on girl, you know you shouldn't do that in front of Samantha." The blonde woman says with an eyebrow raised in an elegant arch.

The Asian girl (allegedly 'Samantha') immediately covers her little chest with her hands, looking offended.

"Hey! It's not like yours are much bigger!"

"They're big enough so that I don't need to buy a padded bikini." Blondie responds without missing a beat.

"Okay, now that's a low blow!"

"But... But.... th-they shouldn't be there-" I stutter, overwhelmed. And what's up with my voice?! Why does it sound so mellow and... feminine?

"Oh dear. If you don't want'em, share them with Sam. She won't complain."

"Yeah, no kidding." Sam pouts. "I'd be happy with only half of what Tami has."

The creeping suspicion I've had ever since I opened these eyes for the first time is becoming more and more certain with every heartbeat. I can feel it everywhere now. It's in the cold concrete under my naked thighs, in the fresh but oily smell coming through my open nostrils; my whole mouth feels wrong, from the shape of the palate, the positions of my teeth, in the way my unfamiliar tongue moves around. Actually, my whole head is somehow 'suspended' above the stone, craddled by a dense, springy cushion of... hair? But I'm supposed to be bald!!

I slowly raise my trembling hands and stare at these slender fingers, with polished nails and delicate rings, the skin a deep brown in color which becomes lighter at the palms. These are definitely not my hands!

"By the way, shouldn't we take a look at him?" the Asian girl says, suddenly looking a bit nervous with her little fingers fidgeting under the lips while she points behind her with the other hand. "That mister also passed out at the same time as Tami. And he's not waking up."

The blonde woman frowns in disgust. "If you expect me to get anywhere near that pig, think twice."

"Th-Then... what should we do?"

"Dunno.." the tall woman shrugs "Call an ambulance or something. They'll deal with him."

I raise my head to see who they're talking about. And I have to make the extra effort of planting my elbows over the concrete and raise it a bit more because 'my' chest is blocking most of the view. But once I do and notice that shape sprawled on the sidewalk roughly 15m(50ft) away from us, all the missing pieces fall into place.

"...that's... me.." I mutter, dumbfounded, instantly recognizing that fat body lying on the street face down.

I already found strange that the black woman who was accompanying these two ladies was nowhere to be seen.
Turns out I'm... inside of her?
B-But that's... that's absurd!