I can't go out naked!

Don't do that!" Chelsea yelped.

"Then come on!" I said, grabbing the car keys.

"Jason, I can't go out naked!" Chelsea said.

"Why not?!" I asked point blank.

"Because!" She said, finally entering the living room cupping her privates. "Everyone will see me! It's like my greatest fear! Besides..."

"Besides?" I asked. What else could the reason be?

"You... you let me eat too much pizza! She said, adverting her gaze. "I'm totally bloated! You know I can't all that cheese and carbs!"

I inspected her naked body for the first time that day. To my surprise, she did look... well, bloated. her slight belly was swollen and bulging far more than yesterday, and her hips did look softer. She always said extra carbs made her ass jiggle for a week, and dairy made her bloated and I totally dismissed it as more of her insecurity. Turns out, that was true!