How Mel got her groove

"I don't know who made the Character Editor," said Melissa. "I got it from the last Master User, a guy I met at that business cruise last year. He said he had it for years and was starting to feel guilty for all the things he'd done. He wanted a fresh start, so after I fucked him all night he gave me the phone. He did something to it first so I couldn't remember his name or use the device on him later -- paranoid sonuvabitch. But from then on I pretty much did who or whatever I wanted."

Brock was abashed.

"Wait," he said, "You had this thing since before the divorce?! Did you do something to me with it back then? Or...or, wait, why didn't you just make me your perfect man instead of divorcing me?"

The sultry goddess flicked away a long, golden lock of hair and laughed.

"Oh, that's perfect!" she said after recovering her composure. "Little Brocky, still wants me back even after all I did! No, I didn't change you with the device because I stopped loving you a long time ago. Sure, I could have made your little worm bigger and given you abs -- which I see is exactly what you did to yourself -- but, to be frank, I just didn't want to! It was more fun to use it on other men...and women."

"Then how'd you lose the house in the divorce?" asked Inglesias. "You can literally change people's minds with this thing."

The vixen laughed again.

"Iggy, what makes you think I lost anything?" she said. "I gave you and Brock this house to get him out of my hair! Besides, I still have a room I use here any time I want -- you two just forgot you ever saw me. How else could I watch all the depraved things you got up to? This is still as much my house as it is yours!"

"So -- hold on -- so that's how the phone ended up in the driveway?" asked Brock.

Melissa hissed through her teeth.

"Yess!" she said. "I felt like giving you bigger boobs, so I pumped your puppies up to double E's while you were taking it doggystyle last night. Then I sat around and laughed all morning as you squeezed into tops that barely fit them! I met some friends for lunch and fifteen minutes after I realized I lost the phone you texted me."

"Okay, so that's that," said Brock. "Ah-ah! Stay right there, Mel! I've seen your profile, so I know you did more than make yourself look gorgeous. Not that it matters -- I deleted your super-strength and all the other comic book stuff you did to yourself. So, the question is, what do we do with you now?"